Me: What’s wrong, Zaruma? Why are you hiding?
Zaruma: I’m not hiding, Julie, I just need to be alone for awhile to think things through.
Me: Well come out and socialize soon please. I don’t like to see you like this.
Zaruma: I’m a bit sad – very sad actually – about Tapper. I thought she was my girlfriend but now she seems to like Daffy. I didn’t know she was a fence-sitter when we first met.
Me: I didn’t either, Zaruma, but according to my research, monogamy is not a requirement in duckdom.
Zaruma: But how can she compare my handsomeness to that daffy Daffy’s? I would really appreciate your honest opinion here, Julie.
Me: Okay, Zaruma, it’s quite possibly due to your lack of hygiene. Clean yourself up and go and have a talk to Tapper, then come back and we’ll discuss it further, okay?
Zaruma: Thanks, Julie. I’ll meet you at the back veranda door at 5pm. I am just warning you that I might have to bite Daffy in the meantime.
Me: You do what you have to do, Zaruma – you were my first duck, so I fully support whatever you think is best.
Zaruma: I’m a drake, Julie, not a duck.