Me: Hi, Ants, are you okay?
Anthony: Yes – when are you bringing me home?
Me: I couldn’t do the lunch arrangement and home as well today.
Anthony: I see.
Me: What’s wrong?
Anthony: I’m down in the dumps.
Me: Why? I thought you enjoyed the lunch.
Anthony: I did but then you made me go back. When am I coming home?
Me: Okay, Ants – I can’t manage you at home. You’re too heavy and I can’t do the nights.
Anthony: Why can’t we try?
Me: We have tried, Ants -please stop torturing me! And, by the way, why didn’t you speak coherently at lunch? Can you only do it when you’re telling me off?
Anthony: Okay, okay, Jules – please don’t cry.
Me: I’m doing my best, Ants! I thought lunch today would be great.
Anthony: I love you more than life, Jules – I’m sorry.
Me: Well you have a funny way of showing it – okay, I’m sorry too. Why did you have to get this stupid, rotten, bloody disease?
Anthony: I don’t know. Am I coming home tomorrow?
Me: Yes. Maybe.
Anthony: Are you picking me up?
Me: No – I can’t lift you so it’ll be the wheelchair taxi again. Ants, you know my blog?
Me: You know the blog I write?
Anthony: That clock story you wrote – remember that?
Me: No, not that. Well, anyway, I wrote about you today and admitted that I avoid you sometimes.
Me: Because you are a pain in the neck, but I still love you.
Anthony: Jules, I have to go – it’s teatime.
Me: Okay, seeya, babycheeks.
Anthony: You are wonderful.
Me: You’re not too bad yourself – I’ll ring you later to say good night – love you.
Ming: Will you idiots get off the phone so I can ring Davie? Oh, hi Dad – yeah seeya.