Anthony: Long time, Jules.
Me: I have been keeping our conversations more silent lately.
Anthony: I know, and even those will become less as time goes by.
Me: The strange thing about the pain of grief is that it feels a lot like excitement; it is almost exactly the same sensation, like a slight punch to the stomach that sort of fizzes up into the chest – a small explosion, short-lived.
Anthony: When does it happen?
Me: Well, yesterday I was having coffee with my mother at a chocolate shop and I had the fleeting, split-second thought that I would buy you a box of the new rose-coloured chocolates.
Anthony: Bittersweet?
Me: Yes, both the chocolate and then the inevitable moment that I remembered you were dead.
Anthony: You sound more at peace; that is what I have been praying for.
Me: Since when do you pray?
Anthony: Well it comes with the territory here, Jules.
Me: Oh. Well your prayers are working. I am much more hopeful now.
Anthony: Of what?
Me: Of nothing really – just hopeful.
Illustration courtesy of Colleen at https://bikecolleenbrown.wordpress.com/
(Colleen is the friend who is collaborating with me on the book about grief).
jmgoyder 
What a perfect little illustration, simple and profound,like your post and ever so wise Anthony.
So pleased to read this post and find that you may be on the mend at last.
a perfect collaboration
Beautiful. And a lovely collaboration with the talented Colleen. ❤️
i still get that bit of feeling when i see coca-cola items. I used to grab all I could when I found them for my brother
I remember how Al loved these items and the joy you got from giving them to him. Do you still have some of them?
Hopeful, what a gift of a feeling. ♥️
Thank you so much for the illustration which helped me through the dark month of August xxx
You are welcome Julie. ❤ You are so very welcome.
Isn’t it amazing how those “anniversaries of the heart” weigh us down? I see how once that date passed, you are feeling lighter. Such is the path of grief, filled with potholes – but far easier to navigate with the experience of knowing you will get up and continue to move forward. Nice to read this post, Julie!
Spot on Judy xxx
An interesting conversation.
Glad to hear of hope and like the illustration.
Hope is a good thing for a grieving heart. What do we have without it?
I enjoy reading the realness of your imagined conversation! Love and hugs across the oceans, friend.
Love to you too my friend xxx
Busy this summer with grandkids and now school, so I have a lot of catching up to do here. 🙂