Just checking in halfway through my blogbreak. Thanks to all for comments on last few posts – I really appreciate it and had intended to reply, sorry!
I’ve temporarily unsubscribed from most blogs to give myself a break, but will get back eventually I hope.
It’s just that I am so sad at the moment, about Anthony, because of how fast the dementia is happening now.
Ming, Gutsy9 and I are all fine which somehow seems wrong. I miss Anthony so much.
I’ve been finding it increasingly difficult lately to keep up with all-things-blog, due to this and that, so I will be taking a blog sabbatical for the month of May and will see you in June. I will still visit blogs, and try to answer comments but, yeah, I need a blogbreak!
When I got an email from doudou (my blog friend), I went to her blog and saw this! I’m a bit emotional at the moment so I cried and laughed at the same time.
Thank you so much, doudou, for upside-downing my frown into a great big grin.
No matter how honest and revealing a person is, either face-to-face or in a blog, there are certain things that are unsayable, secret, too personal.
There have been a couple of incidents at the nursing lodge lately where Anthony has behaved in a way that is disturbingly out-of-character.
The ungentling of my gentle husband’s brain is causing him to do and say things that are horrible. Taboo.
For the whole of last year, I thought I was 54 and that I would turn 55 in January this year. I was really excited about turning 55 so it was a terrible disappointment to find that I was still 54 (I got the maths wrong).
So this year, now that I know I really am 54, I am counting the days before I can turn 55. As of today I have 267 days to wait and it’s hard to be patient.
I don’t want to be 55 because I have an OCD or spiritual connection to the number 55 – oh no. And I don’t want to be 55 so I can feel comfortable about going from size 12 to 14 in jeans, because I already did that this week. Turning 55 may help me to embrace the smile lines I seem to have suddenly developed, I suppose, but it’s not that either.
Okay, I will tell you why I want so much to be 55. No, wait a minute – let’s make this a guessing game. I could do with a bit of fun!
Why do I want so much to be 55? The best guess will receive a free wrinkle.
I keep trying to embrace the idea of death, but I can’t imagine Anthony gone.
So I’m beginning to understand this kind of grief via the blogs of friends who grieve for loved ones.
It might be my turn next but I’m not sure…. Death-defying?
My best friend – Anthony.
I have been trying so hard lately to be positive, but tonight, a nurse rang me asking me to try and convince Ants to take his pills. Eventually my voice on his phone worked and the nurse was able to give him his pills.
Ants was distressed and confused and aggro: this scared me.
What a wonderful nurse to ring me like that. I am so relieved to know that Ants is okay in this nursing lodge, but I am constantly anxious for him now that the dementia is happening.
Ants is coming home for the afternoon tomorrow so I’ve invited a few friends. Oh I so hope it all works out!
[Note to blogfriends: I can't keep up with reading blogs at the moment, but will catch up soon.]
The other day I was terribly upset to read a post by a blogger friend that indicated she’d been hurt by someone’s comment. Since I had made a comment on her previous post, in which I’d suggested something, I was sure that I was the culprit.
So I commented again to apologize only to be reasssured that it wasn’t me. The relief was enormous but the experience taught me an important lesson and this is it:
NEVER GIVE ADVICE UNLESS SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO!
Yesterday was our 20th wedding anniversary and Anthony forgot.
So did I.
[Actually, we always forget for some reason but I thought 'So did I' was a rather good punchline - ha!]
My mother usually reminds us but she’s in hospital and will be for some time. It was only when I was collecting stuff from her house to take into the hospital that I saw her note – ‘March 27-Ants & Julie anniversary’.
Ants is coming home for the day tomorrow – Good Friday – and I’m not sure whether to tell him about our anniversary or not because it might make him a bit sad and nostalgic.
20 years! Aren’t I supposed to get some sort of present?
[Note to other bloggers - I am having difficulty keeping up with your posts and comments - will catch up asap.]
Laugh out loud
Leaves on lawn
Listen or leave
Loser of lottery
Lonely or lustrous
Lovely old leprechaun
Lack of love
Limping on limestone
Lard of lamb
Like or leave
Leaking old lesson
Leaning on legs
Laundering of loss
Long or lengthened
Lazy ornery llama
Lost or loved
Libido of lipid
Lecherous old lion
Lost or least
Lots of love
Laugh out loud!
I tend not to use LOL very much because, after all, it might be misinterpreted.
Yes, it’s been one of those days. LOL!
