“Danny and me is gonna get marrieded, Andony,” Ming pronounced after watching Three Weddings and a Funeral with us one Saturday afternoon.
“Are you just?” Anthony said, bemused. “When?”
“When we get all growed up – probly next year.”
“Who’s Danny?” I asked. Ming had never mentioned him before.
“He’s my bestest, bestest friend in the whole wide world.”
“I thought Dillan was your best friend,” said Anthony, passing me the popcorn.
“He is, Andony!”
“So why are you marrying Danny?” I asked.
“Because Danny and me hates girls.”
“But I’m a girl,” I said, indignantly.
Ming giggled, hysterically. “No you’re not, Mummy – you’re a woooomin.”
“Girls grow up into women, you know,” I said, passing Ming the popcorn.
“Oh.” It took Ming awhile to absorb this, but even when the penny dropped, he resumed laughing – (rather unkindly, I thought later.)
“Is Danny a new boy?” asked Anthony.
“He ownee comeded yesterday, Andony,” Ming said, his eyes alight with the elation of having made this new friend.
“Pretty quick courtship, then,” Anthony muttered to me, grinning.
“We don’t wanna do it like that vidido .”
“So how are you going to do it – the wedding?” I asked, intrigued.
“Jus out in the forest, just in a fort. We can build it.”
“Sounds quite nice,” I said. “You better invite him over.”
“NO!” Ming exclaimed, looking worried, and passing Anthony the popcorn.
Anthony and I glanced at each other, mystified. “Why not?” we said, in unison.
“He’s too special.”
I told my friend, Sue, the next day, over coffee, thinking that she, too, would see this as cute. I’d forgotten about her conservative streak.
“You need to put him straight, Julie,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s not natural, is it?” She frowned.
“It seems okay to me. He’s only four. Actually I think it’s quite beautiful,” I said.
“But what about, you know, the implications? Don’t you think you should explain that marriage is between a man and a woman and not … you know?”
“For goodness sake, Sue, he has a little-boy crush on another little boy. You’re making it sound like it’s somehow wrong.” I was getting annoyed.
“There are issues here, Julie,” Sue retorted.
“What – like he and Danny might grow up and find they still want to get married?” I laughed. “It’s not likely is it? And who cares if it is!”
“Well it’s much likelier if you don’t put a stop to it,” she said adamantly.
We finished our coffees and parted, agreeing to disagree.
When I told Anthony about Sue’s disapproval he roared with laughter. “Probably a bit homophobic, poor thing,” he said.
I hadn’t even thought it through to that extent – it seemed ridiculous to do so, but the really great thing Anthony and I discovered inside ourselves was an acceptance of whatever path Ming chose to take, sexually.
But I’ll never forget Ming’s words to me, back when he told us about getting married.
“I reeeelly love Danny, Mummy – way up to the sky.”
[Note: Sue doesn’t like popcorn]
jmgoyder 