jmgoyder

wings and things

“Mingisms”

Ming is a master of the inappropriate comment or, sometimes, behaviour. For example, his Christmas morning ritual used to be running around the house naked, laughing his head off. Anthony and I had to turn a bit of a blind eye.

Anyway, today, I was waiting at Centrelink to re-establish that not only did I exist but that I had been volunteering for years (somehow these details had been lost). I was sitting next to a couple who I knew vaguely from volunteering and we were catching up when Ming rang to say he and Amanda were lunching soon at a nearby café so I said I would join them if I got out of Centrelink sooner than later.

All of a sudden Ming appeared at Centrelink, saw me and came over immediately to introduce himself to the couple I was sitting next to. He shook their hands, exchanged names and then he said he couldn’t stay and, in his usual loud voice, announced “I am that woman’s spawn!”

Then he left and I had to explain to the couple I was sitting next to that he had an unusual vocabulary.

Oh, the laughter was beautiful!

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A note to our son, Ming, on the second anniversary of Anthony’s death

Thanks Ming (Menzies Goyder) for always reminding me of your dad, Anthony. You have the same larger-than-life presence, the same laugh, the same booming voice, the same gregariousness. The other day, when you sat in your car for ages before coming in, it reminded me of how Ants used to do the same thing and it used to drive me mad! Your love of loud music, dancing, your easy-going nature, and your love of me … the saddest thing for me is that you never really knew Anthony the way he was because he began to get so sick when you were just a baby – one disease after another. In a few hours it will be the second anniversary of his death. Thank you for being with me that night and thank you for your support ever since. I am choosing to spend today alone because the memory of that night, when Ants pushed my hand out of his and we went outside and then, five minutes later, he died, still haunts me. You have been my rock (well, mostly!) and not only do I love you for being you, but I also love you for being so much like Anthony. Best son anyone could wish for. And you gave him such joy!37595561_1321704467965247_8882265699846717440_n

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All is well, Ants!

Me: In two days it will be the second anniversary of your death, Ants, so I am a bit distraught because the memory of your actual death is a bit haunting for me.

Anthony: Jules, everything you are doing is spot on! Ignore the naysayers, embrace the support of your family and friendship circle, and forgive me for my part in what is happening now.

Me: Okay.

Anthony: And Ming will be fine!

Me: Okay – I will take your word for it then, Ants.

Anthony: I now have a better view – this could possibly be called a heavenly perspective – but never worry about me because I am well thanks to all of the other lovely people here.

Me: Can you look out for R who recently died?

Anthony: Already met him – great bloke!

Me: I love you Ants.

Anthony: I love you too, Jules – stay strong.

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