wings and things

A note to our son, Ming, on the second anniversary of Anthony’s death

on August 23, 2019

Thanks Ming (Menzies Goyder) for always reminding me of your dad, Anthony. You have the same larger-than-life presence, the same laugh, the same booming voice, the same gregariousness. The other day, when you sat in your car for ages before coming in, it reminded me of how Ants used to do the same thing and it used to drive me mad! Your love of loud music, dancing, your easy-going nature, and your love of me … the saddest thing for me is that you never really knew Anthony the way he was because he began to get so sick when you were just a baby – one disease after another. In a few hours it will be the second anniversary of his death. Thank you for being with me that night and thank you for your support ever since. I am choosing to spend today alone because the memory of that night, when Ants pushed my hand out of his and we went outside and then, five minutes later, he died, still haunts me. You have been my rock (well, mostly!) and not only do I love you for being you, but I also love you for being so much like Anthony. Best son anyone could wish for. And you gave him such joy!37595561_1321704467965247_8882265699846717440_n

8 responses to “A note to our son, Ming, on the second anniversary of Anthony’s death

  1. An incredibly powerful memory, like it was yesterday.Anthony knew it was his time to go, and naming those qualitities are a wonderful compliment to a father and his son.

  2. arlene says:

    How are you Julie? It is so nice to see you back.

  3. beth says:

    What a wonderful son and what a letter of live you’ve written to him – he will always have the legacy of 2 amazing and loving parents. ❤️

  4. Sending you love and light on this day dear Julie. ❤

  5. OnMyFeet says:


    I have been (and continue to be) so moved by reading your posts. I keep thing how incredibly proud you must be, for being able to love such rare and wonderful men.
    As I watch my father decline, I feel so many sometimes conflicting emotions.
    Your posts always resonate with me.
    I reiterate my thanks to you for sharing these Moments, these snippets of your life. I know it isn’t always easy to do so.
    I continue to wish ALL good things for you.
    Thank you.


  6. zannyro says:

    What a beautiful letter…the part about Ants pushing your hand away…at that moment, he wasn’t rejecting you…something so profound was about to happen, and he was IN that moment, the moment that one can only do alone. Bless you xo

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