Me: Why did you un-grip my hand from yours just before you died?
Anthony: You were hurting my hand.
Me: I was worried!
Anthony: I know.
Me: Actually I was terrified.
Anthony: Well I wasn’t, so don’t worry about that.
Me: That’s when I left your room to talk to Ming about what to do if you died in the night. Like, whether to ring him straight away, or what.
Anthony: Oh I didn’t know that.
Me: The doctor said it could be hours or days – did you know that?
Anthony: No, because you were all whispering, whispering, whispering….
Me: Oh, sorry, Ants. I just didn’t want you to hear that you might be dying and get scared.
Anthony: I wasn’t scared, just bloody uncomfortable. And Jules?
Me: What?
Anthony: It was easier to die with you out of the room.
Me: I thought that was one of those myths.
Anthony: I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
Me: No, it wasn’t that – it was just the shock. I was all ready to spend another night in the nursing home with you so I could get my head around you dying. I even had a DVD to watch. I felt – feel – so cheated somehow.
Anthony: Aha – gotcha!
Me: So you tricked me?
Anthony: Yep.
Me: But why?
Anthony: I didn’t want you to see me take my last gurgling breath; it was a bit embarrassing. And I didn’t want you crying all over me.
Me: But I did cry all over you!
Anthony: Oh. Sorry. I was long gone by then.
Me: What do you mean ‘long gone’? We were only out of your room for a few minutes!
Anthony: Time just seems different now.
Me: I just want my hand back in yours.
Anthony: Well you could have arranged to have it cut off and mummified, I suppose.
Me: Argh!
Anthony: You worry too much, Jules.
Me: I’m so tired from grieving.
Anthony: Well, I was a magnificent specimen of a man so it’s no wonder.
Me: Thanks for the laugh, Ants.
Anthony: You gotta laugh, Jules. Anyway, how’s your mother? Is she still making those blanketty things?
Me: Yes, but probably not as enthusiastically as she was when she was sitting with you.
Anthony: Good on her. She’s a good soul.
Me: ‘Soul’? Since when do you use words like ‘soul’?
Anthony: Since I died.