Me: The red speckled granite for your headstone has arrived and now Ming and I just have to finalise the wording and….
Anthony: Just keep it simple, Jules, don’t exaggerate.
Me: So do you want me to get rid of the header – The most beautiful man in the world ?
Anthony: No, that’s pretty accurate – keep that in.
Me: Noted. Okay, so then I want the inscription to say, succinctly, what you meant/mean to Ming and me, so I am tossing up between words like beloved, cherished, adored.
Anthony: All very apt but….
Me: Yes, I know you would really like the word worshipped in there but that doesn’t sit comfortably with me because I think it was you who worshipped me first and not the other way around.
Anthony: I beg to differ. You worshipped me first, Jules.
Me: Shut up! I thought we agreed that it was mutual years ago and anyway I don’t like the idea of worship because it implies godliness and you are the most ungodly person I have ever met.
Anthony: You keep forgetting where I am, Jules, so please refrain from the ungodly references.
Me: Okay so this is what I have so far: The Most Beautiful Man in the World/ Anthony Barr Goyder 1936 – 2017/ Admired and Respected by all who knew him/ Adored husband of Julie/Beloved father of Menzies. All of these little phrases are on separate lines on the headstone of course. What do you think?
Anthony: You do me proud, Jules.
Me: I still want to have a sort of punchline, like Unforgotten or Unforgettable but the first one has horror movie connotations and the second implies comedy. Plus I have been advised to leave room on the headstone for a few words about me for when I die.
Anthony: Oh … yes, I didn’t think of that.
Me: Ants, we never, ever had any sort of conversations about death, dementia, funerals because you always, always thought you were getting better and I let you believe that.
Anthony: You are a great liar…
Me: I loved you too much to tell you the truth. And anyway, why didn’t you tell me you were about to die? You never gave me a hint; you were in one of your slumps.
Anthony: I didn’t know I was going to die either, Jules.
Me: I thought you would overcome the slump, do another Lazarus, return to our ever-evolving new normal….
Anthony: It was a shock to me too, Jules.
Me: I am so glad that I nearly have your headstone done and dusted because it has been sort of haunting me in an unfinished business sort of way.
Anthony: It doesn’t matter, Jules….
Me: Yes it does, Ants.
Anthony: I am gone, Jules.
Me: No, you are not gone, Ants – you are here.
Ants and Gutsy 2013?
jmgoyder 