wings and things

Imagined conversation 81

on May 4, 2019

Me: Well, here we are, Ants. This is the last of our public conversations.

Anthony: Has it helped?

Me: Yes, it has helped me to talk to you better in my head; it has helped me to see how grief can be a gift (my mother said that); and it has helped me to be grateful for what we had rather than dwelling on what we lost when you died.

Anthony: You are a champion, Jules.

Me: Yes, I know.

Anthony: So what are you going to do now?

Me: I am going to put our 81 imagined conversations into book form and look for a publisher, Ants. It makes sense to stop at 81 because you will never be 82.

Anthony: So morbid!

Me: Not at all!

Anthony: You were the best thing, most joyful and interesting person, to ever come into my life, Jules.

Me: And you were/are the absolute love of my life, Ants. And then there was the gift of Ming!

Anthony: How is that young chap – my son?

Me: Our son!

Anthony: Our son! Okay!

Me: He is a weird hybrid of you and me – fascinating!

Anthony: Apart from you, Jules, that boy/man was the best thing that ever happened for me and I am so proud of him.

Me: Me too, Ants.37595561_1321704467965247_8882265699846717440_n

Note: Unblogging for the time being ā€¦ thanks to my friends/bloggers for your grace x

21 responses to “Imagined conversation 81

  1. arlene says:

    Welcome back Julie. I’ve missed your posts.

  2. Love to you. Thank you for letting us in on these personal & very real, even if imagined, conversations.

  3. Krystal says:

    Thank you for letting us be a part of this journey Jules, it has been very insightful and personally, fascinating. I hope Clint and I have a love like yours and Ants x

  4. Yes! The world will thank you. ā¤

  5. Lovely to see you again, dear Julie. Iā€™m sure your book will touch many hearts. šŸ¤—

  6. judyrutrider says:

    You have touched us all deeply and you, Ants, and Ming will remain in our hearts long after your blog closes.

  7. Val Boyko says:

    This is beautiful Julie. May the next chapter unfold with love and grace. šŸ™

  8. All good wishes to you. Thanks for sharing the journey. It has been amazing.

  9. susanpoozan says:

    We will miss you but good luck with the book.

  10. tootlepedal says:

    I hope that you find a publisher. Your conversations have been enlightening.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Feeling tearful reading this. But endings mean new beginnings, so looking forward to your blog posts to come. New chapters. A bright future with the strength of your beloved Anthony always cheering you on my beautiful, brave daughter.

  12. I like seeing posts from you in my inbox, this didn’t fail to please

  13. Lynda says:

    Your words have certainly touched my heart, Julie. Thank you for sharing your gift of love and remembrance. I hope to see your work bound and in print soon. ā¤

  14. ksbeth says:

    lovely as always to see you – hugs and love on your big project )

  15. Anonymous says:

    Feeling tearful reading such a poignant post, and knowing too that endings are also beginnings. Your next chapter in blogging will be just as special and your beloved Anthony will continue to cheer you in my beautiful brave daughter.

  16. you deserve to get published and I hope you will continue to have a great life. if you start blogging about something else I hope you will make it known to your readers

  17. tersiaburger says:

    What an inspiration you have been in my life. I too am finally putting my blog in a book-form and will then look for a publisher. I wish you well dear friend. I hope you will let us know when you have published your book? With my love and goodwishes

    • jmgoyder says:

      Oh Tersia – I have no adequate words to describe how you have given me such strength. You are a marvel to have been so kind to me even when your suffering is so massive.

  18. lensgirl53 says:

    I wish you well on your next endeavor. Reading your “imagined” conversations has been an interesting peek into the private love and life of Ants and Jules. God bless you, friend. Much love to you and your family.

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