jmgoyder

wings and things

Do you have a spare nappy?

A few posts ago, I mentioned the newish trend of putting nappies, or diapers, on pet birds. Well, that elicited a fair bit of curiousity from readers, so here is the link to the blog of one of the companies who sells these extraordinary inventions:

http://www.flightquarters.com/blog/?p=264

As you will see, it isn’t just nappies this company specializes in. So, even though I have decided not to do the nappy thing with Woodroffe, the gosling, I am still quite keen on the flightsuit for Wantok, the cockatoo! What colour do you think she’d like?

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Father goose

Godfrey: Now, listen up, you four. We are geese! I insist that you to stop fraternizing with the ducks. They have absolutely no manners, no morals and they are filthy. Pearl, wake up – you are to stop associating with Zaruma. You’re not children anymore. You are a Sebastopol goose and Zaruma is a muscovy duck. Need I say more?

Seli: I am getting really sick of these morning lectures.

Ola: Yeah, that Godfather guy is a real piece of work.

Seli: Where is he now?

Ola: I think he’s teaching Pearl some sort of etiquette thing.

Seli: What’s ‘etiquette’?

Ola: Pearl reckons it’s something to do with standing up straight and stretching your neck up high.

Seli: What for?

Ola: Dunno – hey, there’s Zaruma. Let’s make a run for it!

Seli: Wait for me!

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The unusual ‘bird’

The expression on this man’s face bears a striking resemblance to that of an old friend of Husband’s who recently dropped in to visit us, after I asked him if he wanted to come out and see the birds.

He didn’t know I’d seen his grimace and at first I thought he might have been coming down with a migraine or something.

“Are you okay?” I asked, leading him out the door, “the birds will relax you.”

But halfway across the back lawn, he stopped abruptly and, with barely disguised irritation, said, “Do I have to see the birds today? I did see them last time, remember?”

“Yeah and you should see how big the geese have grown!” I enthused, but his expression hardened and I suddenly saw myself very clearly from his perspective.

Oh, how embarrassing!

I would have to stop assuming everybody was interested in the birds, and I vividly recollected having to suffer a seemingly endless tour of someone’s poultry breeding farm once when I only wanted to buy a few chickens.

“I’ve actually come to visit you two, if that’s all right,” the friend said. His voice softened as he saw the look of mortification on my face, but then we both started laughing and couldn’t stop until we reached the kitchen where Husband sat waiting for the kettle to boil.

“What’s so funny?”

“You have a very unusual ‘bird’ here,” our friend said, glancing pointedly at me.

Husband put his arm around me. “Mmmm,” he grinned.

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Admittance fee: One lettuce please

The birds have brought us so much joy over the months that a lot of our friends have begun to bring their friends to see them – people of all ages. Even a couple of the breeders I bought from have been curious to see how tame these birds have become and how happy they are.

So as the word got around about our birds, I was struck with a brilliant idea, half entrepeunerial and half philanthropic. I would invite groups of primary school children and groups of nursing home residents for a fee. Not only would this bring the young and old together, I might even get rich!

As the plan unfolded I set up some picnic tables, enquired as to the cost of portable toilets, and decided to make it a BYO arrangement so as not to have to serve food or drinks. I envisioned this as a weekly event, very casual and layback. Even Husband and Son both approved (highly unusual to get ‘permission’ from both of them for a new idea!)

I only had one thing left to check and that was the ‘just-in-case-something-happens’ insurance – indemnity insturance. Initially, I was told that we were already covered for this, so I started planning flyers and invitations, making lists and contacting teachers and registrars who I already knew.

I was so excited! Then, just as I was about to plan the first of these occasions, the phone rang and it was our insurers who broke the news that due to the presence of children and of the elderly, all sorts of terrible things might happen so the insurance would cost at least $4,000AUS per year.

Oh well I’ll just have to go back to what we were already doing, which was to welcome visitors and friends any time but I think I’ll start charging from now on – one lettuce per person.

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A love/hate relationship

“You’ve drawn the line now, haven’t you, Mum?” Son said on the way home from school.

“What line?” I asked innocently.

“The bird line – no more birds, okay.”

“You’re probably right.” I didn’t dare mention that while he was school, Husband and I had gone to pick up the four new turkey chicks.

“It’s just that all you do is talk birds, birds, birds and I want to talk about life.” Son is a bit of a philosopher and he particularly likes talking about his innermost thoughts.

“So how was Life today?”

“Yeah, well I gave that emo girl – you know the one who’s always depressed – my cherry ripe and she just chucked it on the ground and stepped on it and she and all her gang started laughing.” His voice broke and when I glanced at him tears were creeping out of his eyes so I pulled the car into a petrol station, my heart rolling over.

“So what did you do?”

“I just walked away but the headmaster was going past and told me off for littering.” By now, Son was beginning to chuckle.

“Why’d you give her the cherry ripe anyway?” I asked.

“To cheer her up.”

“Well, you did make her laugh!”

“Yeah, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen her teeth – kind of fangy, but nice. She should’ve auditioned for Twilight.” We both cracked up and I started the car again.

After a moment, Son said, “Thanks, Mum, you can talk about the birds now if you want.”

My heart did another roll, this time of panic. What if he discovered the turkeys today? They were safely hidden in the greenhouse where I often put the young birds to start with. There was no reason Son would go in there was there?

Alas, he did discover them but it wasn’t what I expected!

Note: Occasionally the anecdotes in this post will use a bit of poetic licence in order to protect the privacy of individuals who may recognise themselves and be embarrassed.

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The Bubbles

After Bubble’s death, we purchased four more turkey chicks and named them all Bubble. Oh, the funny looking one in the middle isn’t a turkey – it’s Tapper the duckling whose brothers and sisters had all been sold, so he was all alone and I couldn’t resist.

Needless to say, we now have strict rules of segregation and Doc and Blaze – pictured below with Blaze looking particularly innocent – are not allowed anywhere near the birds unless supervised. We’ve found the most wonderful dog trainer who is helping us to help the dogs to love the birds.

As some would put it, pigs might fly, but I live in hope!

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Killing Bubble

I have never had to kill anything bigger than a blowfly before, so putting Bubble out of her misery was both terrible and terrifying.

This is what happened: I had acquired a single turkey chick because I wanted to see what it would be like to raise one from scratch and, from Day 1, we all fell in love with Bubble. This picture is of Husband and Bubble.

I would nestle her into my jacket, under my left armpit usually, and she would make little chirpy sounds, snooze for awhile, then peck at me for a pat. It was my first ever experience of having an infant bird, so I was fascinated and delighted.

After just a few days, Bubble became so tame that she would fly boldly, though clumsily, out of the box we had set up for her in front of the stove, and across the floor of the kitchen towards me.

It was on Day 6 of Bubble’s life with us that I stupidly let Blaze into the house while I was getting dogfood. In his usual hyperactive way, he came cycloning into the kitchen, then saw Bubble perched on the edge of her box ready to fly down to the floor. There was a split-second of silence in which both animals froze and then, before I could stop it happening, Blaze attacked.

I grabbed him back, but it was too late because he had bitten Bubble in the chest area. I gently held her for awhile but there was a lot of blood and her usual chirpy sounds began to fade. She kept trying cuddle up to me but she was so weak and I didn’t know what to do to help her and that’s when I took her to the local vet. The vet wasn’t there, but her two assistants told me there wasn’t much hope.

So I brought Bubble home again, holding her close to my wrenched heart, knowing what I had to do. The rock was halfway up the driveway so I stopped the car, got out with Bubble, kissed her goodbye, placed her gently on the ground, then used the rock. It only took one blow but I wanted to be sure, so I did it a couple more times.

It’s hard to say any more about this because regret is a pretty useless emotion when it’s too late….

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Casual about casualties

I hope the title of this post doesn’t upset anyone but the only way I have been able to cope with the inevitable bird casualties (ask any bird or poultry breeder about that!) is to become casual, philosophical and get straight back to Quokka online to find a replacement. Yes, I realise this sounds callous, but it has become a survival mechanism that matches the survival-of-the-fittest reality of having birds as pets.

The picture below is of our first Zaruma (a Muscovy duckling) and our first Bubble (a turkey chick), both of whom died within days of each other in ways that could have been prevented if I had known better. I’ll save that advice for another post because this one is about the necessity of wiping your tears, learning from your mistakes and simply getting another one – or two. For example, we replaced Zaruma with another Zaruma and we replaced Bubble with four Bubbles all of whom are thriving … so far….

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Lost and found!

When I went out this morning to feed the chooks I found Sussex (minus her chicks) happily frolicking with the other chooks, which surprised me. Neverthless I was happy that she had recovered from her grief so quickly. I was sitting in my usual place on a log, feeding out the scraps when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Malay (another chook named after her breed) and – shock of shocks – all three chicks were with her! I knew that both Sussex and Malay had been sitting on eggs under an old shed for weeks but since I only ever saw the chicks with Sussex, I assumed Malay was having the chook equivalent of a phantom pregnancy.

On closer inspection I noticed that two of the chicks looked a lot like Malay, pictured below – sort of ugly handsome. Maybe yesterday was the day she decided to take them back from Sussex. Malay has always been rather elusive so I didn’t think anything of it when I didn’t see her yesterday. She must have been hiding with the chicks somewhere, perhaps smirking when she heard Sussex’s squawks of grief.

If I were Sussex I would leave well enough alone because, as you can see, Malay is rather formidable!

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A mother chook’s grief

Many people think that chickens are stupid, only good for egg production or meat, and devoid of emotional intelligence. Not so. Early this morning I heard a terrible squawking from the back yard and, when I went to investigate, there was Sussex looking for her babies. The above picture was taken a couple of weeks ago when she thought she’d lost her third chick, a Thumbelina-sized ball of cotton wool, but luckily it turned up later in the day. A similar, happier picture featured in my last post.

It doesn’t look so hopeful today as, hours later, I can still hear Sussex calling them and her squawk is desperate and grief-stricken. Son, Husband and I have looked everywhere, but we can’t find them either, so we are all upset because this is the first time one of our chooks has produced chicks and Sussex has been such an incredible mother.

I am full of hope and dread.

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