Richard Bach (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Bach), author of Johnathon Livingstone Seagull, once said, “If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was”, a quote which is now widely used in various contexts, and a quote that I have always associated with birds and wings and gutsy metaphor.
Tomorrow I have to take Husband up to a hospital in Perth where his condition and medications can be reassessed by his Parkinson’s disease specialist. This will be his fourth visit to this hospital; nevertheless it is always traumatic for both of us because it usually means a stay of around 4-5 days and I have to come home again and leave him there. The geographical distance is only 200 kilometres but it may as well be 20,000 – well, that’s how it feels.
When I first met Husband, I was 18 and he was 41. I had come to look after his mother who had recently broken her hip. It was my first job. For me it was love at first sight; for him, I was just a strange kid. Oh how I loved him! But it wasn’t reciprocated, so I had to do that ‘letting go’ thing. Once I grew up a bit, he fell in love too but it took awhile (just a few years, like a decade – no big deal, ha!)
So, happy ending in many ways – mutual adoration, a beautiful son a year after we were married … and then Husband got kidney cancer. That was the first illness, but it has been followed by a succession, all of which Husband has overcome or, at least, been resilient against. But then Parkinson’s disease took over our lives.
I cannot let him go; I cannot set him free; I wish he would come back.
And he will. While he is in hospital, Son and I will get the Christmas tree up and decorated and wrap Husband’s present. You’ll never guess what it is – it’s a cuckoo clock!
jmgoyder 