jmgoyder

wings and things

Jan 15

Where’s Willy?

by jmgoyder

You know that game called ‘Where’s Wally?’ in which you have to find him in amongst numerous other characters? I’m not quite sure why ‘Wally’ is now ‘Waldo’ because, in Australia, ‘wally’ is just slang for idiot, but perhaps ‘wally’ is yet another politically incorrect term. Anyway, here is an example of the game:

Now, if you have read my previous post  you’ll realise that this morning I had to traverse Australia with four emus – the Emerys. We have only just returned and I’m exhausted, so I thought it only fair to exhaust you guys too by presenting you with a challenge. It’s a game called ‘Where’s Willy?’ The first person to respond by telling us how many Willy Wagtails are in the wattle tree pictured below will receive a reward. Good luck!

By the way, in Australia, ‘willy’ is slang for a particular male appendage, so I would like it noted that this is simply an unfortunate coincidence and this game is about birds and nothing else.

Wings

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Jan 15

“I’m just walking the emus – be back soon!”

by jmgoyder

Ha! ‘Back soon’? Sure. Try nearly two hours later – argh!

Now, I should have known I might have to do several laps of the house, the farm, the district, the state, the whole of Australia, because the other day I let the Emerys out and they wandered farther than usual. In fact, I only turned my back for five minutes and they’d gone – phut!

Son and I searched the whole farm – he on his motorbike and me on foot, then in the car – and eventually we found them in one of our front paddocks, right next to the actual road! In order to get that far they’d have had to get over a water channel and through a few fences. We eventually herded them onto our driveway and all the way back to their yard, by which time Son was furious with me but I will spare you our little tiff, except that I was commanded NOT to let them out again.

Well you know me; I want all the birds to be able to free range. So yesterday afternoon while Son was sleeping off his party, I let them out again. This time I followed them everywhere and that’s exactly where they went – everywhere!

I became terribly thirsty but I didn’t dare go inside and get some water because I thought they might disappear again. And I couldn’t even go to the box of cabbage near their yard, so I didn’t have anything to lure them back there. Days later (well, that’s what it felt like), Son woke up and came outside to find me exhausted and bedraggled. “Help me!” I gasped wearily.

Son, his mouth set grimly, took over the herding while I staggered on wobbly legs (I haven’t walked that far in years!) to fetch cabbage and, in no time, they were in their yard. I then received a stern lecture from Son to which I nodded compliantly and made several false promises.

Today, I will let the emus out again but this time I will take enough water and supplies for several days. If you don’t see a post from me for awhile it just means the Emerys and I have ventured into the hills. I will leave Son in charge of Godfrey and the gang. He’ll love that!

Wings

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Jan 14

The party

by jmgoyder

Last night was Son’s 18th birthday PARTY! I didn’t mention it earlier because of my blog’s link to facebook; i.e. we didn’t want gatecrashers. Son and I spent all day manically getting the place ready, then went to visit Husband, then stopped at the local shop to buy a trough to put the ice and drinks in. I had let Son invite as many as he wanted but he kept it down to around 40, thank goodness.

Anyway, it was a resounding success with most of the kids staying the night in tents and swags.

This morning there are around ten kids still here, all sitting around one of the picnic tables out front, drinking copious amounts of water and eating leftover pizza (I over calculated on that one!) And this is only half of the pizza order.

Many of my friends thought I was crazy having that many teenagers all by myself, so I was pretty nervous, but there were no incidents. I solicited the presence of two older males for ‘crowd control’ but no control was needed. Instead they provided me with some adult company because, for some reason, I was overcome by shyness of the youngies and I don’t recall ever having felt so ancient as, for the first time ever, Husband wasn’t here to be the old person – hehe!

Son, dressed up for the occasion, was in heaven, as you can see!

He encouraged his friends to have a dip in the pool, and several had a swim since it was such a hot evening.

Okami and Uluru, the alpacas, decided to hide in the old dairy, then Okami thought the greenhouse might be safer.

Uluru wasn’t sure. He wanted to keep his options open.

The surreal thing about Son’s party is that, 11 months ago, we had one for Husband’s 75th so there was a little bit of deja vu going on in my head.

That was a very hot evening too but, strangely, none of the people at Husband’s party wanted to go for a swim!

Animal

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Jan 13

Where is Zaruma?

by jmgoyder

Peacock 1: Have you guys seen Zaruma? I’m worried about him.

Peahen 1: Who’s Zaruma?

Peacock 2: You know – that duck that Godfrey loathes.

Peahen 2: Oh, the ugly one?

Peacock 1: Come on – he can’t help his looks.

Peahen 1: Last I saw he was still trying to hang out with the gang.                                     

Peacock 3: Can he fly? Maybe he’s in a tree.

Gang: We’re not supposed to have anything to do with you, Zaruma – go away before Godfrey sees you here.

Zaruma: What if I promise never to poop in the pond again?

Gang: Take it up with Godfrey. Now get lost!

Zaruma: I wish I could be a kid again. It was so much easier.

Peahen 1: I found him! Come on darling, come on Zaruma. Don’t you worry about that big bad gander; we’ll look after you schnookums.

Wings

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Jan 12

Blog conundrums

by jmgoyder

Husband loves the blog because he has always been proud of anything I’ve written (even though, like Son, he doesn’t like reading!)

From time to time, I have shown Husband various posts in which his health situation has taken precedence over the topic of birds and he has been fascinated to see himself, pictured and written about. I was so worried that he would object to his/our story being made so public but, as we have always been very honest with each other, I felt I needed his permission to continue.

He gave this permission unreservedly, we wept together about a couple of the sad stories and he hugged me. “Keep writing, Jules. This is good.”

Phew!

Wings

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Jan 12

The waterbabies!

by jmgoyder

Emu 1: So this is her idea of a pond is it?

Emu 2: Stop complaining – apparently we need to talk to that Godfrey guy, you know, the big gander. Oh, this chopped cabbage is like heaven; she really does that well.

Pearl: Mr God, sir, those emus want to talk to you.

Godfrey: What now? Can’t you see I’m busy? This water is filthy!

Seli: Sorry, sir, but I think they want to form a working party to sort out the pond situation.

Godfrey: This is getting ridiculous. Since when do emus like to swim? Woody, go and tell them that they may use the kiddy pool for the time being, but no splashing, no pooping and one at a time only.

Woodroffe: Yes sir.

Godfrey: Stop swanning about, gang! This is serious.

Emu 1 to other emus: C’mon, Emerys – this is lovely!


Emu 2: The Godfather said only one at a time.

Emu 1: Okay, just give me a moment. Oh, wow!

Godfrey (honking from a slight distance): Tomorrow’s meeting will commence at 6am sharp. We will form a working party consisting of three geese, one duck, one turkey and one – I repeat, one – emu. In the meantime the emus may continue to use the kiddy pool but not the pond. Agenda items:

  • bigger ponds
  • more ponds
  • cleaner ponds
  • separate ponds for different species

Phoenix 2: Have you guys heard about this meeting?

Peacock: Don’t worry about it, Goldilocks, it’s just a poultry thing.

Phoenix 2: Oh.

Whitey: You know little Tapper, the duck? He told me that the Godfather wants to have regular meetings from now on. Can you believe it?

Phoenix 2: But why?

Whitey: Well, Tapper thinks it might be all Zaruma’s fault because he keeps secretly pooping in the pond.

Bubble: Godfrey said he only wants one turkey in the working party, so do you want to do it? It would be a good experience for you.

New turkey: I would be honoured.

Bubble: Good boy.

New turkey: I’ve only been here a little while but I really love it.

Bubble: Mmmm.

New turkey: There’s never a dull moment!

Pearl: Woody, would you mind representing me at the meeting today? I have a headache.

Woodroffe: Of course, Pearly, you’re my favourite sister in the world.

Pearl: You do have Diamond.

Woodroffe: Diamond’s a boy – remember? So she’s my brother.

Pearl: Oh, my head is pounding.

Ola: Woody, where’s the meeting?

Woodroffe: The greenhouse.

Ola: Is the woman coming?

Woodroffe: Hell, no – Godfrey would never allow that!

Ola: Well, I think she should be involved.

Woodroffe: I agree but I’m not going to bring it up.

Ola: In that case, I will. I adore her.

Woodroffe: I do too, but please don’t tell Godfrey.

Zaruma: Will you guys shut up. Let’s get this over with.

Ola (whispering to Woody): Little does Zaruma know he’s in big trouble.

Woodroffe: Well it’s his fault for pooping in the pond all the time.

Emu 1: So much fuss about nothing!

Emu 2: I dare you to get into the kiddy pool while they’re in the meeting.

Emu 1: You are on!

Emu 2: No, no – I was just joking. It’s too risky!

Emu 1: I’ll show you how I dunk my head in the water – it’s amazing!

Wings

6 Comments »
Jan 11

Breaking

by jmgoyder

Yesterday, Son and I broke the news to Husband that his two weeks in the nursing home lodge might need to be extended, might even be indefinite and that this has been recommended by three of his doctors. Son reinforced this by starting a verbal sparring match:

Son: We can’t look after you anymore, Dad!

Husband: Well, you’re not much of a son, are you!

Me: C’mon, guys, give it a rest.

Son: Dad, can’t you see you need nursing care?

Husband: I’ll get better – wait and see. Don’t give up on me. Where’s my wife?

Son: Her name is Julie, Dad, and she’s crying in the bathroom as usual.

Husband: What the hell is she doing that for?

Me: Sorry, just had to go to the loo.

Husband: Are you okay? You look terrible. You really need a haircut.

Me: I know.

Son: Argh – I’ll meet you out in the car, Mum. Bye, Dad.

Husband: Wait – give me a hug.

Me: He’s okay; he’s a teenager.

Husband: Why is he so ….?

Me: He’s angry.

Husband: I love you two more than life.

Me: Us too.

Husband: You better go.

Me: Yeah, the brat’s waiting – give me a hug.

Husband: See you tomorrow?

Me: See you tomorrow.

Breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking…. br

Uncategorized

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Jan 11

Put it on your God shelf with the soft toys

by jmgoyder

One of my closest relatives, and my best female friend, has been having macular problems with one of her eyes and, during yesterday’s eye injection (the last of a series – bravest girl I know), she experienced an unexpected searing pain after which something weird happened in her eye.

I was so worried about her but then she sent me this email:

No pain. Stop worrying. Just a black disc hovering (an air bubble evidently). Quite friendly actually. Nice little companion. Gets larger as I lean forward and I can cup it in my hand. Sweet little new friend. Honestly it’s nothing and I’ll miss it when  it goes! I’m going to the movies. I’m perfectly all right. If you keep worrying I won’t tell you stuff. Put it on your God shelf with the soft toys.

Her quirky words have reassured me!

This is a picture of my closest relative/best female friend and her budgie, Algernon. When she first got Algernon (we are not allowed to call him ‘Algae’), he was very nervous and didn’t want to come out of his cage, but gradually he is becoming more comfortable

My muse

My mentor

My mother

Animal Wings

8 Comments »
Jan 11

Down the rabbit hole

by jmgoyder

Yesterday, in the early evening after all the birds were safely in their yards, I decided to take some photos of the rabbits. Oh yes, haven’t I mentioned them before? We have hundreds of rabbits – well, perhaps not quite hundreds, but lots and lots – so many, in fact, that a friend from Perth asked if I was breeding them. No, I am not breeding them; they are doing that extraordinarily well all by themselves.

In other words, we have a rabbit plague.

They are everywhere! At any time of the day or evening, I can look through any window, or go outside, and I will see not just one or two rabbits, but entire families scampering around, here there and everywhere, in amongst the peacocks and guinneas and geese and ducks and chickens and turkeys. The scene resembles something rather heavenly except it is not heavenly because those rabbits are digging up the foundations of every building on the farm – that is five sheds and this house! I keep expecting the house to suddenly tip over. After all, it’s a very old house.

So last evening I sat outside, camera ready and waited. And waited. And waited. And I didn’t see one rabbit – not even a bunny! It was as if, like Alice in Wonderland, I had fallen down a rabbit hole into a fantasy world – this one devoid of rabbits. I wish.

Anyway, I thought I better take a picture of something, so I took one of the feathers on the lawn. In a previous post I mentioned that, with all the birds molting, it looks a bit like it has been snowing. Then I took a picture of King peacock’s final feather. As I said in another previous post he’s been hanging onto that last symbol of his former glory for ages. Now, having shed that final tail feather he will have to wait several months for them to all grow back. Poor guy seems a bit lost now.

I was still waiting for a rabbit or two to appear so I took another couple of photos of feathers that had blown into a blossom tree. I say a blossom tree because I’ve forgotten what kind of tree this is and Husband isn’t here to enlighten me (I’m ashamed to say that after nearly 20 years of marriage and living here, I still don’t know what many of these trees and flowers are!)

Actually, I’m not comfortable with the little white lie I just told about the feathers in the tree. They were in the tree earlier in the day but had blown onto the ground again, so I put them back in the tree to take the photos. Is that false photography? Interesting concept!

I am not, however, white-lying about the rabbits. The weird thing is that I haven’t seen any today either, so far.

Perhaps I’ve magicked them away somehow. On the other hand, the house does feel a little tilted today!

Or maybe I’m just stuck inside a ‘Julie in Wonderland’ rabbit hole.

When I go in to see Husband today, I will ask him what the blossom tree is called. He will know.

Animal Uncategorized Wings

12 Comments »
Jan 10

Weiro warrior

by jmgoyder

Buttons, the weiro, gets so furious if I don’t pay him enough attention that I am beginning to think I might need to invest in some sort of protective helmet.

Today, for instance, was a very busy day and, after letting him out of his cage this morning, I didn’t see him until this evening and he flew straight to my shoulder and started pecking angrily at my face, ears, head, neck and fingers. When he’s mad, he makes this miniature screeching noise which sounds a bit like radio static – not very pleasant.

It’s okay now. He’s calmed down and is settled into my neck, preening himself and making unscreechy noises – little chirps and whistles – and nuzzling in. In a moment he will probably do the eye kiss thing, after which I will put him to bed in his cage, which he hates to begin with, then almost immediately falls asleep (I know because I’ve had a peek).

Wings

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