Well, having Husband home for the weekend, and even going out to lunch and various other plans, went awry over the last few days so I am learning not to anticipate anything with too much excitement anymore – and to always have a contingency plan!
For example, on the day I had planned for us to go to our favourite restaurant for lunch, Son didn’t want to and Husband didn’t either, so I left Son home, went into the nursing lodge and Husband was extremely mobile and eager to go for a walk, something I haven’t done with him before – well except on the farm – because usually he is too immobile. I was amazed as he led me rather speedily down the hallway from his room to the nurse’s station and to the locked doors which the nurses opened for us to go out into the sunshine.
“Well, your new meds. are working well,” I said, bemused as Husband pulled me along in the slipstream of his unexpected energy. We walked down the nursing home driveway then followed a sandy trail that backed onto houses on the same street and proceeded up a bit of a hill. At the top of the hill, I turned around and exclaimed over the ocean view which you can’t see from the nursing lodge. We had been walking for ten minutes so I assumed we would go back to the nursing lodge but Husband wanted to keep going down the other side of the hill which was very sandy and steep, so on we went! By then we were around half a kilometre away from the nursing lodge and Husband was beginning to falter and I was beginning to panic.
“It’s just around the corner,” he said.
“What is?”
“Bythorne,” he said (Bythorne is the name of our farm).
It was then that I realized that the same drugs that are making Husband more mobile might also be increasing confusion and hallucinations (I know this because it’s happened before).
He then said that he could see Bythorne and I had to gently remind him that home was 15 kms away, but he just said, “So? I can make it. What’s wrong with you?” Thinking quickly, I said I was exhausted and didn’t want to go any further, that I wanted to go back the nursing lodge, and he got a bit annoyed.
Just then an elderly woman approached us from the corner that Husband wanted to turn. She had a bunch of flowers in her hand and greeted us with great enthusiasm. I asked if she were going to the nursing lodge and she said yes and that she was visiting her old school friend who was 89 but whose name she couldn’t remember. Long story short, she and I eventually persuaded Husband to turn around and go back but then, of course, we had to climb this awful, sandy hill.
Well, with the 89-year-old woman holding Husband’s left elbow, me holding his right hand and him using his walking stick with his left hand we made the very, VERY slow journey back. While we did so, the elderly woman introduced herself as Pauline and she asked us our names which, for some strange reason, gave her a fit of the giggles. A couple of minutes later, she repeated her question and asked me what was wrong with my father and I had to clarify that he was my husband. This didn’t make her giggle, but gave her pause and she then began talking rather incoherently about her friend who was 89 but whose name she couldn’t remember and, for the third time, we introduced ourselves to each other.
All of a sudden, Pauline, who was very agile, sort of sprinted ahead to the crest of the hill and said goodbye. Husband panting by now, muttered, “I don’t know why we couldn’t have gone to Bythorne, Jules, it’s not that far.”I apologized and continued trying to pull him along, little step by little step.
“What did you think of that lovely old lady?” I asked as we FINALLY reached the parking lot of the nursing lodge.
“A definite case of Alzheimer’s Disease,” he said, “poor old thing.”
jmgoyder 
I agree with Husband on Pauline however, I think she was an angel sent to help you get him back up that hill! Bless her and bless you both!
You’re right!!!
didn’t the whole thing just make you want to sit down and cry, or laugh hysterically at the craziness of it all? I know that isn’t a very uplifting and positive thing to say, but having been a caretaker of sorts, it brought back those days when I felt that way, that just one more step or one more time, was going to do me in. You are doing great! Please take good care of yourself too! I feel like I should say something funny here, to finish with some silliness, but can’t think of a darn thing at this moment, dang it! – okay how about this: “what does a clock do when it has eaten, but is still hungry?” “it goes back four seconds”. …okay. I’ll stop writing now, have done enough damage LOL
Oh how I love your comment – thank you!! You are so right with that laugh or cry thing. The laughing is better and Husband is so good at laughing at himself so I told him this same story today on the phone and he had a chuckle!
Haha, thanks for making me laugh! Your husband took you on quite an adventure and you had a very interesting encounter. That poor lady, I wonder if she’s actually a patient of the nursing home…
Is she isn’t she might be soon!
What a beautifully sad excursion. One of those stories that make you laugh and cry at the same time.
Yes, I did the laughing at the nursing lodge and the crying on the way home.
Oh dear! I’m glad Pauline showed up when she did to help you get husband up that hill.
~ Lynda
Yes it was good timing in a ludicrous sort of way!
Such a tragicomic sequence of events – I can imagine that you must have had a terrible urge to laugh hysterically at your husband’s assessment of the old lady; I certainly am even though I know it’s inappropriate
I have laughed ever since but at the time I kept thinking ‘is this really happening? argh’
This is a funny, funny story full of tenderness and understanding! Thanks for making me laugh! And you are amazing!
It was quite hilarious!
What doesn’t kill us makes us tougher.
Yeah, there’s a new song out there I keep hearing on radio that says exactly that!
It sounds like you are very smart to go with the flow. In fact, we all should do that more.
Bella and DiDi
Thanks you guys!
The last line is precious!
Yes – it was so ironic!
Have to agree with Victoria Jules… something bittersweet about this story. Tugged at my emotions in both directions. Glad you managed ok- and the 89 year old woman was an angel – yes!
She was certainly an angel!
It’s the drugs which are doing this. He’s happy and that’s the main thing. One day at a time.
One day at a time – that is for sure!
I hope they didn’t keep Pauline at the nursing facility. Sounds like she’d fit right in.
I think she’ll be there soon!
Yes, those experiences are so bittersweet. Those spurts of energy give so much hope but for every step forward, there are two steps back. It’s odd how those moments of humor interject themselves into the most ridiculous events. And the happiest times can produce the scariest times. During a large family gathering, Dad almost choked to death on a pea. Very odd. Oh mercy, this is bringing back so many memories.
You’re doing a good job, Julie, telling your story.
Thanks you so much, Wisdom, for your wise comment – thanks for the encouragement to keep telling the ongoing story!
What are friends for?
Thank you!!
I enjoy your stories! They are so real, funny and very moving at the same time. As far as being in the carer role I can relate to alot of how you feel even though we’re in a different position. Especially the bit about having to change plans! We make plans and end up stressing out before we’re even out the front door. We also have to laugh or we’ll go mad. You just have to do your best and remember to appreciate all the good little things. Stay strong! xx
You sure know about it – I really admire you!
This is beautfully well-written Julie.
Thanks – it’s exactly how it happened!