My maternal grandfather used to call me ‘idiot child’ when I was little. He said this fondly, so it was a term of endearment but I think he might have been right, because I have always been fantastically good at making a fool of myself. So I am still that idiot child despite a few decades having passed by.
But I am not so much of an idiot that I can’t read between the lines of how this blog has altered in tone from light-hearted and somewhat hopeful, and mostly about birds, last November, to what it is now. It is certainly much more about things than about wings. I worry that it is beginning to be tinged with a death theme and I know what that’s about.
Son has berated me for this morning’s ‘Doc’ post because he saw it on Facebook and he was enraged that (a) I had given up on Doc, and (b) I told the “world”.
My mother says she couldn’t do a blog because she wouldn’t want to “bare her soul” which means I must seem like I am baring mine – how ghastly!
One of my best friends says, in a gobsmacked way, “I’m ringing to see if you are okay because I just read your post.” He was referring to one from some time ago in which I was bereft and he said, “You always have been so transparent with your emotions.”
Needless to say, these comments make me feel like an idiot – ha!
This afternoon, I went to visit Husband in the nursing lodge and it was great. We walked up to the corner of the lodge property and discovered yet another ocean view, some other friends came and we ended up in Husband’s room, having a few laughs and reminiscing and then Husband began to falter and I needed to go home to see what was happening with Doc (I had left Son in charge).
Tomorrow Husband wants to come home for the day to help us make the Doc decision, so that is a good thing. As I was leaving, I said to him “Do you think I am an idiot?”
Without hesitation, Husband replied, “No, you’re just Jules.” And his acceptance is, and always has been, my warmest blanket.
But, speaking of idiocy, it wasn’t until I looked at a blurred picture I took of Phoenix 1 the other day that I realized the avocadoes were ripening – can you see them?
If you can’t see them, you are an idiot!
jmgoyder 
You’re not an idiot. It’s good to express yourself. The Big Red bird is beautiful and yes I can see the ripening avocados!
It looks like a good crop! Thanks FF!
Please continue to ‘bear your soul’ – hundreds of us enjoy/empathise etc etc reading your posts so take gratification if you can from that. No-one is here to judge, just to experience life from another’s perspective or at least that’s how I see things. And regarding whether I’m an idiot even though I apparently have a high definition monitor to view your photo on it still took me ages to find the avocado so possibly I’m a half-wit instead. That said I’m also really bad at Where’s Wally – perhaps my talent does lie elsewhere.
What a lovely comment and reassuring for this idiot-me! Don’t worry, the avocadoes are terribly difficult to see because the leaves are the same. One year we had literally hundreds!
You definitely are not an idiot! Some people are just more open than others, but we all go through the same stuff. It’s good that some of can put it into words 🙂
Thanks doudou!!!!!!!!!!!! Juliexxxxxxxxxxxxx
are we not all fools julie, and who would want it any other way 🙂
assume nothing, be true with your word, forgive, and be grateful….
as for your blog, its true to you xx many blessings ❤
When the hell are you coming out to visit dodsy?
I love your blog, I think its wonderful. My mother told me too that I am putting myself out into the world too much. I don’t think of blogging so much as baring my soul, but getting thoughts all tangled up, there for needing less support from home.
I like this – thank you!!!
The colours on the pheasant make me an idiot, was far more interested in that, got my own tree for Avos, but not a bird like that, so I don’t mind being the idiot.(I did see them when I looked …..but the bird!!!!)
Isn’t he beautiful! I had two but they had a terrible fight (see my first blog post). Thanks so much for your comment and interest!
Your definitely NOT an idiot, bless you , wearing your heart on your sleeve is not a bad thing, its honest.
ok – do you have any spare sleeves?
awwww bless you, I’m a lot like you I wear my heart on my sleeve too, I’m sure I have a spare one somewhere, you’ve got a great sense of humour considering all that’s going on in your life, keep smlling
Whew! I saw the avocados. Guess I’m okay.
I knew you would see them!
Yes and how many avodados are there? Is it a competition … and maybe there are willie wagtails there also!
It wasn’t a trick question this time – hehe!
Julie, you are who you are!
Fresh avacadoes?? Ohhhhh! I didn’t know what they were. All we have in Wal-Mart are the black ones. They don’t grow here, but I would LOVE to taste a freshly-picked one. One of my favorite foods!
Oh bosh, girl! It’s your blog. I think you’re great! Don’t let a few people’s judgment keep you from being you. It’s ok.
Sending Texas love! XO
I will post you an avocado!
Thank you, my dear. Every time I see one, I want one. 🙂
I love avocados and they look good!
I’ve always been against labeling people, especially children. Even if you don’t mean it in a bad way, it tends to sink in and kids start believe it. It then puts a lot of pressure on that child to perform according to their positive or negative label. And you’re living proof of it! Poor you…
Are you calling me an idiot? hahahahahaha!
You see, you’ve got to stop that!
Ha!
life is messy and sometimes we are the idiot child to some. no worries! you are not alone in the blog world. as far as son is concerned he is of an age when everything is about him. what he is going to look like to the world. my sister advised i write as though no one else were going to read it and that is so basic. keep it honest for yourself. you are just you and some days it will be about the birds and some it will be about feelings that you are so bravely sharing.
just keep writing from your heart and please don’t censure too much!
ok! thx!
OMG! It’s beautiful!!!! Not the avo’s … the Phoenix! I wish I had beautiful birds like this visiting my Avo tree. 🙂
Oh, and you’re no idiot. Tell them I say they can all take a one way ticket to the moon and stay there!
*hugs*
Ok, ok, I see them!
Love that bird, and wish I had one just like him.
He isn’t a wild bird – I actually bought him – golden pheasant – yes beautiful!
I’m from the UK: your fresh avocados have my mouth watering and they’re not even ripe yet. If I lived there I’m not sure they’d ever get to ripe. I’m far too impatient.
Idiotic? Blogging? Blogs are for brilliant interpersonal savants, in my opinion. Though I’m a blogger, so I would say that.
Thanks savant!
Hi,
Yes I can see the avocados, looks like you are going to get a few, a good size tree as well. The bird looks sort of magical up in the tree, really stands out just beautiful. 🙂
It’s amazing – this tree – it just survives year after year, with very little care or watering!
I only saw one. Does that mean I am a half-wit?
1.5!!!
If you are idiot I am too… But we are not dear Julie… we are not. Love you, nia
Julie, When I was growing up my dad called me an idiot all the time. He meant it. Thank goodness I saw the avocados right away! 😉
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
I see your blogging as looking deep into the essence of what love is. Love is emotional. It can make you laugh or just as easily weep. You can’t see around the corner of life, and so you began this as a bird blog. How were you to know that your life with husband would change so suddenly, and so completely?
Your son is feeling overwhelmed with what goes on in his life, which, as it happens, is your life too. It is of course your choice to continue blogging about it. Or not.
~ Lynda
Thanks Lynda – thank you!
And Husband is correct – You are just Jules, and you are idiotically beautiful and thats why we love you.
I misread your name as Michael and got the creeps – hahahahahahah!
I am Michael! Why am I creepy?
Very funny!
I can see the avocadoes – I love them and am envious of you having your own supply.
Blogging is about what ever you want it to be. A writing blog about your everyday life is always going to have its ‘ups’ and ‘downs’, just as Life does.
The important thing is that it’s YOUR blog. All of us Followers (or Subscribers) who don’t know you personally, follow it because we like your style. We like the type of person you are. We like your honesty and compassion. Most of us probably also have a liking for the feathered variety (as I love bird watching and photographing birds).
I see your Blog as being an outlet for your thoughts. It’s like a kind of Diary which many of us older folk used to have when we were children. A writing blog is who/what we tell our innner most thoughts to. It gives up comfort and reassurance that we’re not alone.
Someone famous (my memory is failing), wrote that “We read to know we’re not Alone” and I think this is true.
My PhotoBlog started off as being purely my journey as a new amateur photographer, but it slowly became infused with sentences about my day or how/why I took the photo.
I closed my writing blog “Healthy Living and Me” down a year ago, because I couldn’t ‘write’ articles any more, but I still like Sharing (with Words).
Of all the blogging people I have now ‘met’ I have learned the most from you and I am very grateful!
You’re not an idiot. Enjoy the avocados!
Bella and DiDi
dont you worry yourself. Troubles in life follow us all and we love sharing them in our blogs. We are here for each other. Thank you for listening to me ramble on at times too.
And till I read your note twice did I see the dang avacados. LOL r
Yes to all of this, including the avocados – thank you!
Like a person, a blog grows, changes, matures with time. Don’t feel bad about it: you can always set up a separate blog just for birds.
Laurie questioned her blog the other day, but for different reasons. Might be worth checking out: http://laurieanichols.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/what-am-i-blogging-about/
Great blog – I just subscribed.
A blog about just the birds would have gotten stale, I think. What you have now is a blog rich with the stuff of life — which includes death. No doubt it will eventually evolve into something else to suit your needs or cease to exist. At which point many of us will be very sad!
What a great comment – I really appreciate it!
…well, I guess it’s mostly in the eyes and mind of the beholder, don’t you think? Consider the source, then move on. I’m glad for all your vulnerabilities, it makes me feel more okay about being human!! I thank you and salute you for your courage and honesty!!
Good words – thankyou!
Idiot child indeed! And, yes, blogging does seem a little like baring your soul. Its just the nature of writin, which for me anyways, mostly the truth.
Yes – it’s kind of weird to be so ‘out there’isn’t it!
Out there, but anonymous.
Wise!
I have no doubt that what you write helps other people, too, Julie – to write is to write
Okay, I will take your word for it!
I can see them, pick them and then they will ripen, yum! You are not an idiot Jules, you’re just human. We all say, write, think things in a moment that changes later. But with new media blogs, Facebook etc once they are out they are out but it gives you an outlet to get off your chest what you need to, perhaps help someone else feel better who has experienced the same and you can always look back on it and be reminded of how things were worse/better then and help you to appreciate each day for what it is.
What a lovely person you are – I am looking forward to meeting you properly!
Aww thanks! We will meet properly soon I promise. I’ll be stealing your avocados too…be warned! And anything else you grow that looks yummy!
Figs.
Figs! I lov figs and always need them for recipes. You don’t have any now though do you…too late??
Alas – too late but I will let you know when they ripen again!