I think there are a few gifts waiting for us – Husband, Son and me – just around the corner, but I cannot seem to get us to that corner we need to turn.
One of my best friends arrived this afternoon, just as Son and I got home from visiting Husband, and another best friend rang a moment later and, for a split-second I thought, yes, we are going to have a party, so I said, ‘come over.’ But in the next split-second, as my first friend fetched some wine from her car, I suddenly, unexpectedly, and rather dramatically, broke down and sobbed.
Now I have been in that situation myself, watching someone else’s grief leak/pour out and it is not the most comfortable of situations to be in, because you don’t know whether to put your arm around them, leave them alone, listen to their noise, or slap them. My friend did the perfect thing and just let me cry and stammer and Son then rang the second friend to say tomorrow might be better.
It was Husband’s sad, sad face that triggered this I think. I had left Son with him for a couple of hours while I had coffee with my best oldest friend, Tony, so I had been enriched by this. But when I got to the nursing lodge, Son was impatient to go home and I had to break it to Husband that we weren’t taking him home with us. Watching the pleats around his mouth deepen with disappointment, I comforted him by saying, “It’s tomorrow you’re coming home,” but that didn’t seem to alleviate his misery. So then Son crouched down between Husband’s legs and thumped him lightly in the chest, “Dad, I know you are sad being here, but we are sad being home without you. Mum and I are sad, Dad – it’s not just you who’s sad.”
Just around the corner is a brand new, butterknife day. Husband will be home, Son will be out and I will not sob.
jmgoyder 
I dunno what to say. I know it’s so hard. Sharing the pain will help. Hang tough my friend. xxx
Just subscribed to your blog – sorry, I thought I already had!
awww…. thank you!
Tears. Such a cathartic thing. Good for you.
I think the deep contrast of being enriched with an old friend, and then the whole sadnees enveloped around Husband not coming home was just too much. You have an amazing breaking point my girl, but its good you let so go with someone safe and trusted. You son is amazing young man. To know how to lighten a situation like that with his dad if a gift. He’s a fine representaion of all that his dad and you have instilled.
You hang in there Jules. Your corner is coming up real soon. Just keep your eyes on that image.
You are the best! Thank you.
Life is tough sometimes. But you’re dealing with it.
I hope your corner arrives soon. Hang in there. That’s the best anyone can do.
thanks Pat!
Reading your post made me think, as I’ve recently had the same feeling of just around the corner….if I could get past it. As I sat to think about this a thought came to me: “the circle of life” and how that circle is just a collection of corners put together…and somehow I think I get it now ~ I’m going to stop trying to get past the corner and just move around the circle of life. I think that might help me see things differently. Thank you for sharing this Julie. It really helped me. I wish you a good day and better weekend with Husband and Son together.
Thank you so much, Sofia – I am now trying to replace my corner concept with your circle and you have helped me! Juliex
I love this concept. I thank you too Sofia! ~ Lynda
Love it that your friend showed up with a bottle of wine in her car. Now THAT’S a good friend, along with sharing the good, bad, and ugly with you. That’s what friends do.
She is a tonic!
I think a good cry (or a good belly laugh) is very cathartic.
May tomorrow be the ‘Belly Laugh’ day.
I am going to create a belly laugh day! Thanks for inspiring me.
Julie, I do not like to click the like button when a post is so obviously full of pain or anguish. It seems so totally inadequate, and yet, sometimes I find that I do not have the words to express how I truly feel. So which is better?
a) To fumble around for something to say.
b) To click the “Like” button so that at least you know I was here… and that I do care.
c) Do nothing.
~ Lynda
(((O)))
I appreciate this very much.
J I love the way you write! Please consider yourself electronically hugged!
You too!
Oh, God, my heart aches sometimes when I read your posts. They are filled with such raw, truthful moments, moments that speak of our human condition, the plight of being trapped in these bodies no matter how much we might want to escape, if only for a few moments. Fortunately, we are not alone, even if we have just one loyal friend! I think it’s friendship and love that make this existence bearable, and give it meaning. ♥♥ Thanks for all your openness and sharing–for me, you make being human “okay”….
Thank YOU for your honesty!
You know dear Julie, my heart always with you. Love, nia
I wish you lived just around the corner!
I wish too… 🙂 But we are lucky too dear Julie we found each other… I am so glad to know you. Blessing and Happiness, with my love, nia
Sometimes you’ve got lot to let it all out and vent. It’s just impossible and unhealthy to hold it all in, all the time. All I can say is, you’ve got some wonderful, supportive friends. I hope they can be around for you anytime you need them.
I am very lucky in the friends department!
Good Son, good friends – take care, Julie
Okay, BB!
“Tears expand you, they don’t diminish you.” So I say, cry if you need to cry. I think it’s good that your friend let you do this.
Through my own experiences, I’ve learned it is very harmful to hold in emotions. In my other blog, I have written about my experiences with emotional pain and the tools I have learned to deal with them in a healthy way. What helps me the most is when I have a supportive friend or relative who will let my cry and vent, listen to me, and not judge me. A comforting hand or hug is also good. It is part of having good emotional support, which people need, during difficult times.
I didn’t know about your other blog – where is it? I’ll have a delve!
http://fergiemoto.wordpress.com/
Among other postings about my current experiences and journey, there have been about four postings specifically titled “Addressing Emotional Pain…”
Thanks a bunch!
I just subscribed – thanks!
Sorry to hear of your little breakdown. I hope a glass or two of wine helped that some? It’s good to have good oldest dearest friends.
My friend drank the wine but I’m a beer girl!
Oh my, you are dealing with so much! We’re glad you had a moment to let it all out. Sometimes that helps a lot. All you can do is keep going and you”ll get around the corner.
Bella and DiDi
Howl of pleasure!
I am constantly blown away not just by your openness and honesty in sharing your life events but also by the many wise, lovely and heartfelt comments to your posts. To follow up on what you wrote about corners to turn and Sofia wrote about “the circle of life,” I recently read a series of post on “life on the curve” how women’s lives are on a spiral with phases like seasons that we go in and out of. It really struck a chord with me. Here’s the link to the last that has a Shaker hymn that I love, but the whole series is wonderful. Will be interested to get your thoughts. http://www.blogher.com/life-curve-our-spiraling-lives?page=0,0
Btw — that your son is something very special!
I, too, am blown away by the comments I get – something I didn’t anticipate when I began the blog!
Thanks for the bloglink – I just had a quick look and I love it – just have to subscribe now!
This is sad. Sometimes life is sad. I think the love story story is a good idea.
I am going to stop the sad crap!
You can’t stop the sad crap. You have to just ride it out 😉
What a compassionate thing for your son to say. You’ve raised a good man. Huge Julie. Yesterday morning I sat on my best friends couch and as she handed me a cup of coffee I burst into tears unexpectedly…. I seemed more surprised than my friend by the ordeal. loves!
So glad it isn’t just me who gets those unexpected tears!