These were Husband’s words to me over the phone a moment ago. You see I have the flu again and so I can’t visit him and on the phone I got all teary about this, about letting him down. And that’s when he said, “Cheer up, Jules – it’s not the end of the world,” and made me laugh at my guilt and my stupid fluey self-pity. His beautiful voice on the phone, his little chuckle, his reassurance that it was okay to not come in today and to just get well – he sounded so normal and said he was fine.
It is possible that I keep getting rundown because I don’t know how to do all sorts of things here that Husband used to do, like ordering the kerosene and lighting the Aga for the winter, maintaining the garden, reading the electricity meter, maintaining his old BMW, knowing what to do when a pump goes wonky, unblocking the sink when the water table goes up, winding his collection of antique clocks, ratsacking the sheds, operating the lawnmowers, changing the oil in the old ute (truck), and so on.
Son and I are getting a handle on how to do these things and we both feel stupid sometimes for not knowing how, but all of these jobs were Husband’s while Son was at school and I was teaching at the university, so it wasn’t until Husband’s Parkinson’s got worse, and I had to stop teaching (nearly 2 years ago) that I realized how little I knew about how to ‘run’ this place. We are so lucky to have the beautiful neighbours, whose farm adjoins this one, and who Son will soon resume milking cows for, leasing this property and helping us with advice, support and emu rescuing!
Sometimes, when I ring Husband, or go and see him, he is disorientated, immobile, or he has a ‘turn’, or he is down in the dumps. But whenever I ask him for advice or support, he seems to catapult himself out of his Parkinsonism and rally for me, and for Son. He gives advice, he tell us who to contact about this or that, and he comforts us if things are difficult (like after Son’s spinal surgery).
So, when Husband said his cheering words to me, I realized once again what a hero I married. His resilience is awe-inspiring and takes my breath away. His strength of spirit is something I can only aspire to. He has made my heart huge.
So for any of you who are going through dark, difficult, challenging experiences, health problems, anxiety and/or depression, I hope Husband’s “Cheer up – it’s not the end of the world” axiom will help.
Don’t worry about the expiry date – just peel it off the ‘Cheer Up’ package!
Note 1: This doesn’t work for everyone, but there will be no refunds.
Note 2: It did work for me because if got me out of my flu fug and got me trying to be funny again (emphasis on ‘trying’).
I love Husband so much!
jmgoyder 
can u explain where Al and I are at now that he is in the freezing part more and more?
It’s difficult because every Parkinson’s sufferer is different, but if the leg freezing is lasting over several minutes, then it might be time to contemplate a nursing home. I hate suggesting this because when my husband was at Al’s stage I said I would never do this. However, I have been delighted with the care and attention Husband receives at this wonderful place and, like everyone said to me at the time of admission (just for respite to begin with), I needed a life too. Even though I hate that cliche, I actually think it might be time now for you to contemplate at least looking into it? I hope this isn’t presumptuos, Terry.
Julie, His words, and your comments regarding them, put a smile on my face. So I think it works! Sorry you’re under the weather. Take it easy and get better soon! xo, Lynda
Yes, he is so generous!
I’m glad Husband cheered you up….but from what I’ve read on your blog, it seems to me you are stronger and more inspiring than you think!
Not feeling strong at the moment but thanks!!!
If it was me, I’d write down the instructions for some of those things you’re not sure of. It’s amazing how easily we forget again. Glad you’re feeling better.
Yes, we have begun to do that – writing instructions down. I just always left these things to Husband before.
Bless you, Jules! Bless you for your generous spirit and for reaching out so bravely….
Much love and hugs for you, your Husband and your Son!
Mohini
Thank you so much, Mohini!
May I put you on my blogroll?
Julie
Certainly, Jules! Thank you! 😀
And I can see why!! So happy you are on your way back to the light. May the flu be soon over, and your spirit keep shining bright as can be. xo RL
Your husband has a great perspective on life. Don’t let small obstacles take you down, especially when you have such large ones to face. Now, you know why you’re getting sick though, right? Not enough sleep, too much worrying and not taking care of yourself enough. Easier said than done, but you need to give yourself a break once in a while.
Okay Mum! hehe!
What a cheery thing for husband to say and is good to try and remember. Husband sounds like he is the “wind beneath your wings.” Here’s wishing you a quick recovery from the flu.
Thanks so much Fergie – yes, Husband is an amazing person – much stronger than I would be in his circumstances – very humbling. Juliex
You will amaze yourself when you discover what you can do when you have to. Not least, coping with it all.
You have the flu; it’s okay to panic for a while – inevitable, in fact – when you are run down, but you’ll bounce back because you have a strong and loving family.
It’s funny how Husband’s Parkinson’s and Son’s post-surgery all pale into insignificane when I have a simple flu – go figure – haha!
Thanks again, Tilly!
Jx
Oh dear Julie, I am sad to hear that you got a cold… Get well soon. You are so nice soul dear, and your husband too. Blessing to you all. As always it was a nice reading… Angels and The Sun be with you always, love, nia
Nia – your incredible kindness to others is amazing – thank you again! Juliex
A strong, lovely man, Julie – what a gift you are to one another. Get better soon – give in to it for a few days and sleep
Ah, sleep – good idea!
I agree. Juli and Husband are definitely a gift to one another. Its obvious to anyone.
Sweet cheeks!
Oh boy, you have put the hammer on the nail with this one. While some of us deal with little petty nuisances, and feel all crappy about them, you are dealing with illness and separation and seeing the important issues ahead. I think we are all standing in your corner with you as you face these difficulties. What a moving piece!
You are like an angel, Renee! Thank you so much! Juliex
You go Jules! You and son can replace the everyday tasks that Husband can not do anymore. It just takes time to learn. You still have moments of his love and wit – hang on to those, even over the phone, and you will make it through.
Hanging onto the wit – yes!
You totally got me all misty eyed this morning. You helped me realize to hang on to those moments with my husband now do I can store them in a bottle to reuse later as things will surely get tough down the road.
What a beautiful comment, Lisa – thank you! Juliexx
Stress wears you out too, then you get sick, so your husband’s right. More happiness!
I think it might be guilt stress!
Yes, the struggles of insurance papers, taxes, doctor bills, car repair, furnace issues, etc — ugh! Hard lessons. But you will learn these things and become stronger – just like Inna did. I’m sorry that you’re ill still. Chicken soup and apple cider vinegar – my cure alls. Sending you BIG Texas love! XO
Chicken soup it is! Thanks – oh, and do you add the vinegar to the soup? Hehe!
Hey good to read your blogs again-I had checked the box for not sending follow-up comments and after a few days realized that I wasn’t getting any emails from anyone’s blogs-it was a little lonely. But the message is there for me “cheer up-it’s not the end of the world.” no matter what any of us go through, it is best to stay in the moment and deal with one thing at a time.Thanks for the message.
Just added you to my blogroll!
Reminds me when I used to stay with my relations on the Scottish islands when I was a child. Aga cookers in the kitchen, dodgy phone and electric systems which kept failing when high winds blew the cables down. The water came straight from the hills without being treated, there was no television because reception was so poor and travelling in a Land Rover on dirt roads because they were not asphalted.
Also, having to walk round a loch to get to the shops with my cousins or cycling if I got to the bike shed quickly and managed to get a bike. It was great and I loved it. I came from the largest city in Scotland with great public services, but I loved the simple life on the islands. I adapted and learned and got by.
You will get by as well.
Thanks Jane! Luckily where we live isn’t quite as ‘primitive’ as where you stayed as a child, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be in a new rather than such an old house! Juliexx
Feel better. *hugs* You are so brave because you allow yourself to love deeply even though it can be painful.
Bella and DiDi
Thanks, girls!
The more I read your posts, the more I fall in love with your husband, too!
Okay – I’ll send him over to you!
More seriously, that is a beautiful thing to say – thank you!
“He has made my heart huge.” Wow! That is love at it’s highest power! Lucky you, lucky him!
Very lucky (well in some ways!)
Lovely, heartwarming story that made me smile. Hope you’re feeling better now 🙂
Thank you!!!
Thanks for the axiom. Something everyone could be reminded of from time to time! Especially me at the moment!