Another page of this era is crumpling because of what I have just had to do about Arthur who has worked and lived here for most of his life, milking cows for Anthony, and, after the dairy stopped, doing lawns etc. He lives in an old millhouse at the back of the garden and he loves living here but, at 70, he is now becoming too frail and can’t care for himself properly. Yesterday, the electricity to his ‘hut’ short-circuited itself for the umpteenth time (this was happening before and after the cyclone) and I finally realized and accepted that the wiring in his roof is dangerously old and that Arthur would soon need to go into care.
So I have just made the call to the wonderful people in HACC (Home and Community Care) over here and they are going to organize things and I am about to send Son over to have a chat to Arthur, to warn him. I am not sure whether to ring his family in the next town (brother and niece) because they are estranged.
When Anthony was at home he would go over at least once a day to either chat with Arthur or to yell at him to clean his hut up. They had/have a relationship spanning over 55 years. Son was very kind and patient with Arthur until Arthur began to become too hard and I began to get worried that one day I would find a corpse in that hut. And now that our Winter is beginning its blast, I am even more concerned.
So I am glad I made the call and I think Arthur will be much better off in a warm room with constant care, but I am so sad too because it is as if history is being gobbled up.
jmgoyder 
It’s tough when people can’t care for themselves anymore.
Yes and seems weird that my own husband is in care and Arthur isn’t!
Hi,
It must of been so hard for you to do this, but it is obviously the best thing to do, and you are right about Winter and being in a place where the power is not up to scratch is a worry as well especially where heating is concerned.
All so ironic too!
You did the right thing dear Julie… I know the winter soon there… This would be good for him. Thank you, have a nice new week, love, nia
Decision, decisions – you seem to have to make so many big ones at the moment. A cold winter without safe electricity isn’t a great option.
I will be so glad when Arthur is safe and warm and, yes – I have to admit – off my responsibility list!
Yes, I agree, you’re having to make so many decisions lately…I hope things get a bit easier, at least for a while.
Poor old Arthur. Even Anthony used to say that – how ironic.
Good decision, Julie.
I’m sure he won’t want to leave, but hopefully he’ll come around and accept that it’s better to be safe, warm and well cared for during the inclement winter weather and into the future.
I spoke to the HACC people and they adore Arthur but can also see what needs to be done in terms of care – so hard to do this but thankyou so much for your encouragement as I really need to do this for his sake and because the hut is now dangerous in terms of old wiring – what next!
I’ve learned from experience, don’t ask what’s next, because 9 times out of 10, you won’t like it. You did a good thing with Arthur! While the decision was probably pretty hard, it was the right one! Take Care my friend!
Thanks Jo! Jxx
that is sad, and this is why i don’t do well with changes.
Isn’t there a saying that a change is as good as a holiday?
yes there is, and i can say honestly, that all holidays do not make me happy either. maybe i am just getting too old
I think you need to seriously investigate residential care for Al and I never give advice!
It’s probably the best decision for Arthur, but that’s heartbreaking.
I think he will be okay – the situation here was becoming untenable.
It sounds like he needs some looking after and it is kind of you to care. Too many people don’t care about others.
I think (hope) it’s for the best.
I can’t even imagine doing this without being in touch with his family – estranged or not. And I can’t imagine not involving Arthur in the decision. It just doesn’t seem at all right – but perhaps things are done differently there.
In any event, I can understand the concerns, and the need to make provision for Arthur. I hope it all works out for you!
I didn’t want to say this in the post itself and don’t want to be too overt here either but there is an intellectual disability. Also it has, so far, been Arthur’s decision not to contact his brother (the reasons for this are complicated and private, but, suffice it to say that there have been some unpleasant incidents).
Good news is that the Care people have just rung to say that (miraculously) there is a bed available this week. Ming is going to tell Arthur later that we need his hut inspected for storm damage and faulty wiring etc. – all true)
I hope it will not be hard for Arthur. I’ll keep him in my prayers. He looks like he might even like a softer life for awhile…You’re kind to do this before wintertime, too.
Sad but necessary.
Very sad indeed. God bless ‘im. He might appreciate the warmth, after all.
I think he will indeed!
That was a good decision on your part, Julie 🙂
It was inevitable.
very hard call Julie… so many transitions for you – breaks my heart. You are a hero – and don’t care what you have to say about that 😉 xo
If you call me a hero again I will nominate you for a really complicated award – hehehehe!
🙂 same here Julie! xo
I can only wish you good luck – have had to make tough decisions like this and it is not easy, but sometimes not easy is the only way
Thanks – it is a tricky situation.
Can Arthur go to the same home as Anthony? Bet they’d enjoy each other’s company.
Not sure.
More to deal with, Julie – I don’t know how you do it all.
Not an easy one, but the right decision for him. For you.
History is evolutionary not stationary. What came before is only as important as what it leads to.
Quotable!
I could feel your heart tearing at this decision, which had to be made. Sounds like you did the best thing, no right or wrong here. 🙂
I’m picking up Anthony today from one nursing lodge to go see Arthur in another – life is a comic strip!