Here is the link to my book, We’ll be married in Fremantle, for those who asked. It was published waaaaaay back in 2001 but is still available and is now also an e-book (which I only just discovered!) Below the link is an excerpt from its prologue.
http://www.fremantlepress.com.au/books/1039
THE JOE STORY
I first met Joe several years ago, when I began to work in a small nursing home in Western Australia. I’d been nursing for about ten years and had looked after a large number of people with Alzheimer’s Disease before meeting Joe, so I didn’t take much notice of him at first. He was just another Alzheimer’s patient sitting in an easychair, mostly silent but sometimes yelling out in sudden anger. I changed his trousers when he was incontinent, I showered him when he was on my list and I fed him his dinner. In the daily reports I would write “Joe, no change”.
Things did change however.
One afternoon I was in the panroom which was directly opposite the entrance to the dayroom. Joe was always seated in the chair facing this entrance. As usual, he was slumped down in his chair so I went over and hoisted him up into a more comfortable position. He suddenly lashed out and punched me in the side shouting, “Leave me alone, you bastard!” – which, when he did speak, was a fairly typical coment from him.
A bit stunned, I went back into the panroom and watched him. He looked up at one stage, caught my eye and shook his fist. So, I thought, he recognises me. This was a bit of a surprise, as I thought Joe was ‘too far gone’ to recognise anything about his immmediate circumstances. He had always seemed very listless, depressed even, and often just stared at the floor. Suddenly intensely curious about whether Joe would be able to recogise me, I wrote my name in big letters on a piece of paper towel and, without thinking too much about what I was doing, went in and showed it to him.
He was a bit bewildered at first; then, at my insistent “Joe this is my name, do you think you can remember it?” he looked a the paper and then up at me, scowling. I crouched down beside his chair and said, “My name’s Julie, Joe. You can keep this piece of paper so won’t forget it. Is that okay?” He looked at me again, looked at my name and, just as I thought he was either going to punch me again or just ignore me, he grinned, repeating several times, “Julie?” I was pretty thrilled as I hadn’t seen him smile before, let alone grin. [pgs. 7-8]
‘The Joe story’ was the fuel for the book because it was Joe who transformed my attitude to people suffering from dementias like Alzheimer’s Disease. My relationship with Joe, though short-lived because he died, remains the flavour of the book (originally a PhD thesis). This excerpt is the first of five.
The book’s fundamental thesis/thrust was to do with how listening to people with dementia who can still speak is far more useful, and far kinder, than dismissing their stories as meaningless. At the risk of sounding solipistic, I am now finding my own book is helping me to cope with what is happening to Anthony. How ironic!
jmgoyder 
very good Julie! you are so lucky to have been published
It was awhile ago!
Very ironic and adds a new slant to self-help books.
Haha!
thanks for sharing–
I have book marked the link to your book!
Don’t tell anyone but I don’t even know what bookmarking is!
haha I don’t have to, I think you just did!
Dear Julie, when I read your story, I remembered her. Your stories are always so precious and so nice. And also help us to learn and to understand some difficulties in the life. If you don’t mind I want to share my memory with her in my blog and reblogging your post too… Because whithout having any idea about these problems, I have experienced something and it was so beautiful moment for me and I never forgot. Thank you dear Julie, love you, nia
Thank you and I never mind being reblogged nia – yu are the beautiful one!
http://photographyofnia.com/2012/06/21/just-a-little-smile-on-her-face/
You are welcome and Thank you dear Julie… you are so nice too. Love, nia
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I looked on amazon.com but it’s not available as an e-book there. Do you know where I could find the e-book? It sounds like a good read.
http://www.fremantlepress.com.au/books/1039
This is fascinating and exciting Julie! I’m so glad you shared. I’m going to read it on our long weekend of camping. Hugs!
Thanks Melissa!
LISTENING – such an important word!
Exactly and totally different to just hearing.
I had no idea you’d turned your thesis into a book . . . fascinating story so far.
Thanks – publishers said they loved it except for all the academic crap so I had to strip the thesis of all of that and voila!!!
The more we learn, the more we understand. The brain is so complex, and our psychological and physiological understanding of it will never be complete, I feel. It’s like working a never-ending puzzle. But, oh, so interesting! …says a person with no credentials but who reads whatever she can find on the subject. I’ll certainly add your book to my reading shelves. Thanks, Julie! XO
I’ve just read an amazing book “The woman who changed her brain” – have you heard of it?
No, I haven’t. Thanks for the reading recommendation. Sweet dreams.
It’s a really interesting book.
Fascinating! Can’t wait to read it!
Wow! I worked for a short time as a Residential Counselor for nonfunctioning retarded (that’s still a diagnosis, right?) folks – & I sucked at the actual job, was slow at the bathing & dressing and feeding, but when it came to communicating with them I was a master. I quit on the spot when I got a major trigger, but I wished they had a position solely dedicated to “snuggling” the patients – communicating with them through touch & speech & interactive play. But that isn’t a position 😦 I added a copy of your book to my amazon list, am looking forward to getting it & reading it. Then maybe I’ll do a book review!!! XOXO, thanks for this post, brings back the good things about the job that could either have saved me or killed me. OK, back to legal work now, lots of immigration waiting (it can wait a few more hours, I have read your blog in a while, in the hospital & all that special stuff…) XO
I used to think the same thing – places like nursing homes and the place you describe should have paid positions for people who just want to, as you put it, ‘snuggle’ with patients. You are a gem!
[…] the story. There are four segments — all quite short — and all worth reading…. The Joe Story – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to […]
This is so awesome! I was thrilled when you and Louise met online. You both inspire me in ways that enrich my life. 🙂
Thanks for introducing us, Diana!
I am now going to read more about Joe I have to know more
Sorry – have been reading your comments backwards so just came to this one – what a wonderful person you must be!