I was trying to diagnose my state of mind/heart the other day and came up with the phrase ‘prolonged grief’ and, until I googled it, I thought I was the originator of this phrase. Not so! I found the following article very interesting but not particularly useful when it comes to the prolonged grief that so many people suffer before the loss of death.
It seems that Daffy’s Dotty has, indeed, disappeared and she has probably been killed by that fox. His daily quacking has become hoarse with grief.
jmgoyder 
another reason your blog is so important! there is not enough reliable information for this “before” the event stage. it is my selfish desire that you may continue to be prolific with your thoughts, feelings and experiences. bless you dear lady for what you are going through and for your willingness to document the journey your family is on.
Until I tried to find some useful information about this ‘before’ stage, I didn’t know how little information was out there. Thanks so much for your encouragement when you are going through so much yourself.
It’s a good phrase – it does describe what you and others suffer during a long, debilitating death watch.
Blast that wretched fox.
Sound like you definitely know what this is like – thank you!
Poor Daffy 😦
aww – so sorry for Daffy.
You never know – Dotty might be brooding somewhere!
Julie, try to get a new duck on the premises as soon as you can. It will take Daffy’s mind off of his loneliness if he has a companion to share his day with. I did this for Polly when she lost her mate and her last gosling. She was totally lost and crying all day just as Daffy is now. When I got the Hissster sisters she calmed right down and actually acted “happy” for the first time in almost a month. ( http://tinyurl.com/pollysmates )
xo,
~ Lynda
PS: As for that article… 😐
How is it that society has become so desensitized as to spawn professionals who want to classify prolonged grief as a mental illness? I have to tell you, when you are making plans to go to your baby brothers memorial service, having a colleague snap at you, “It’s been two weeks since your brother died. I thought you were over it!” (yes really) is a sucker punch to your sensibilities. I certainly hope that common sense prevails with this listing in the new edition of the DSM! 😦
Regarding Daffy – Godfrey and gang have accepted him into their fold and Tapper (female muscovy duck) seems to have taken a liking to him so that’ a phew!
As for that article: thank you so much for your insight here. Until I saw this article, I had never heard of the DSM. I am gobsmacked at your colleague’s insensitivity to your loss of your brother – unbelievable – argh!
have you ever thought like i do? that we are grieving the death in slow motion?
Absolutely!
i thought so
I love how animals form such a communal thread through your life and stories — sorry for Daffy and Daisy — glad Daffy’s found a new community to accept him!
And as to your work on ‘prolonged grief’ — your light illuminates the path for others — keep shining. Your briliance is needed!
Thanks Louise! I love hearing from you. Juliexx
Poor Daffy. My heart goes out to him and anyone who is suffering prolonged grief.
He is gradually recovering and more accepted by the gang now.
We love our birds so much that when their little lives end early we grieve for them too. Hang in ther J.
r
I had a bunch of wordpress issues and unsubscribed from everyone’s blogs temporarily – just found yours again – yeeha!
I might not like foxes as much as I used to. Dottie stuck by Daffy, no matter what, and I liked her for that. The fox has slid further toward the bottom of my list.
The fox isn’t native to Australia – it was those stupid colonists who gave us the fox plague – argh!
It’s usually the new “guy” in the environment who causes trouble.He’s not supposed to be there.
True!
No harm in plagiarizing the phrase in my opinion…………….as it suits you…………….
The last line in that article really stuck with me Julie… If we want to experience life/love – there is always going to be grief. So difficult to accept this …:( It is the prolonged grief though… that is the hardest…. Sending love xo
Thanks Robyn!
xo
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