jmgoyder

wings and things

The dos and don’ts of when you run out of toilet paper and visitors are about to arrive

on July 27, 2012

1. You do cut newspapers up into little squares just in case

2. You do quickly search the internet for innovative ideas with historical credence so that you can add a bit of knowledgable weight to just in case

2. You do not ring a friend who hasn’t been invited and ask to borrow toilet paper which of course you can’t possibly return anyway

3. You do not panic and berate yourself for being so disorganized and hopeless and disorganized and hopeless

4. You do decide not to give your visitors any sustenance whatsoever

4. You do not entertain the idea of suggesting to your visitors that they ‘go’ outside since they are all women and would find this distasteful

5. You do not contemplate the possibility that one of your visitors might be suffering from a gastric disturbance

6. You do meekly ask one of your visitors (when she rings to say she is on her way and can she bring anything) to please bring some toilet paper

7. You do restrain yourself from being too effusively grateful to the visitor who is bringing the toilet paper

8. You do begin to now wish there were a bit more sustenance in the house

9. You do hope that the car you can hear pulling up in the driveway belongs to the visitor who is bringing the toilet paper because you have to go

10. You do not panic when it is one of the other visitors

11. You do not, during the lovely visit with three of your best friends, continually punctuate the conversation with offers to use the toilet

12. You do wonder why the only person who needed to use the toilet, during the visit, was you.


79 responses to “The dos and don’ts of when you run out of toilet paper and visitors are about to arrive

  1. camsgranny says:

    hehehe…thanks for the giggle this morning! p.s. ALWAYS keep a spare roll hidden for occasions like this.

  2. Something on your mind? 😉

  3. terry1954 says:

    that was pretty funny!!!

  4. Ingrid says:

    Spare box of tissues works …

  5. victoriaaphotography says:

    Very funny,
    (In future ensure you always have boxes of tissues in the cupboard, or facial wipes, or …………).

  6. Rhonda says:

    So funny Julie. I was Loo-phing all the way through!
    xo
    R

  7. dogdaz says:

    Good thing I did not go further north than Sydney. Thanks for the chuckle. PS – leaves are always good.

  8. hilarious – and unfortunately I remember the days when catalogues were employed in the outhouse

  9. You are such a funny lady at times.

    Loved no.6

  10. bulldogsturf says:

    Yep the law of averages, if some one hadn’t brought some with them for you… every one would have had a running problem..

  11. janechese says:

    so funny! Thanks for the chuckle. Jane

  12. Now I have to go to the bathroom. Can you send me some toilet paper?

  13. LOL As if we had nothing more important to get stressed about.

  14. How do you do this? Know exactly when it is that I need a good belly laugh?
    You crack me up Jules; into pieces of giggling flesh on the floor.

    When I try to explain to Bear why I am a laughing mess all of a sudden on the floor and all that will come out is, Jules.. do.. don’t…. he of course has no clue what I am talking about, which only makes me laugh harder. Until… I peed my pants. Now where in earth is that TP Jules?

    Oh My God! Too funny ~ BB

  15. Robyn Lee says:

    paper towels… napkins — better than newspaper! xo

  16. dcwisdom says:

    I think you’ve been hitting the bottle this morning (or is it evening?). Hahaha… I buy the BIG packages so I never run out.

  17. Lemme guess– you ran out of toilet paper at *just* the right time? 😛
    lol. Such an adorable post, such an adorable you!

  18. bluebee says:

    Julie, you are hilarious
    (11. When they arrive, you do say, “We’re out of toliet paper and sustenance, so let’s hit the local pub”.)

  19. UGH! I hate running out of toiliet paper!

  20. Judith Post says:

    Loved this. Hilarious! Made me think of the opening scene in the old movie Romancing The Stone. Loved that too.

  21. This was just so bloody funny and not just because we ran out of toilet paper on Thursday night and had to use tissues, but because it was just funny……………….
    http://jo-annemotherandnanna.blogspot.com.au/

  22. artfulanxiety says:

    Fantastic. Made me laugh!

  23. viveka says:

    Julie, this is so funny … thanks for a good laugh. If there is something I never run out of is it toilet paper always have too much on stock *laughter.

  24. cuhome says:

    Haven’t found myself in that exact situation – yet. However, I HAVE found myself in the dire situation of desperately needing toilet paper (not a drip dry job), while I was a guest at someone’s house….. what to do, what to do……

  25. Michelle says:

    Before the Festival of Pacific Arts here, we were told to stock up on all essentials so I bought $300 bale of toilet paper – it was so wonderful knowing that no Honiara belly was gonna beat us and we were fully prepared.
    Loved this blog entry!!

  26. This is a good blog message, I will keep the post in my mind. If you can add more video and pictures can be much better. Because they help much clear understanding. 🙂 thanks Cavalieri.

  27. Fergiemoto says:

    hehehe…these are great!

  28. melissakoski says:

    This post is a perfect example of why you are so lovable. Thanks for the chuckle. My best friend is always running out of toilet paper and I always arrive to her house with a 6 pack as a housewarming gift when I visit. (:

  29. ltpen315 says:

    Paper towels with instructions to flush after each sheet also works!! lol!!!

  30. Julie–you made me laugh so hard I had to visit the bathroom 🙂

  31. That’s one thing that I have never ever run out of.

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