Wings
Tonight one of my blogging friends emailed me a photograph just for me. I had asked him if I could have one of his thousands of bird photographs and I had even chosen a few possibilities. You see I didn’t want to simply ‘steal’ one which is easy enough to do with the internet.
But he sent me a personalized one and he hasn’t even put this photograph on his blog yet, so I think I am the first to see it. It even has my name on it. It is difficult to describe how much this photograph of a bird with its wings holding it up, and a cheeky expression on its face, has rendered me dust-free and reminded me that when I first began this haphazard blog, it was all about wings.
I thought of maybe inserting this photograph here but no way – not now. Now, it is just mine!
Thank you, Tom.
Gelotology – the study of laughter
Today I discovered that I am just as skilled at laughing as I am at crying, so I googled ‘laughing’ and found another new word!
Today I told Anthony that I had rung the taxi company to get the money back for the unnecessary second trip yesterday and we would be reimbursed, but all he could say was, “I didn’t like the way that taxi driver put his arm around you.” I couldn’t stop laughing.
Today I wrote a blogpost about being nagged by Ming, our 18-year-old son and the first thing he said when he got home from music school was, “What’s this dirt on the carpet? You came inside with your boots on didn’t you.” I couldn’t stop laughing.
Today, one of our roosters, Tina Turner, who has taken over the whole chook harem, attacked me more viciously than ever before when I went to feed the hens. He drew blood! Well, I kicked him in self-defense and he somersaulted in the air. I couldn’t stop laughing (it’s okay, he is fine as you can see – he loves to dance on that table!)
Today I rang the guy who has repaired our nearly dead ute (truck) and explained why we still hadn’t picked it up and he started singing a refrain from that song ‘Julie, Julie, Julie, do you love me?’
I couldn’t stop laughing!
Nag, nag, nag
Would you PLEASE wipe your boots before coming in! Oh look at this mess and I’ve just vaccuumed.
Will you ever remember to put your dirty dishes on the sink instead of leaving them on the table?
Do NOT feed the dogs in the morning. How many times do I have to tell you? Look how fat they’re getting!
You keep rebelling against me and it causes these catastrophes between us.
Our communication problem wouldn’t exist if you didn’t keep on breaking the rules.
There will be no more eating or drinking in the car – do you understand?
Look at your room! It’s appalling. When are you going to sort yourself out?
It’s about time you got OFF your bum and away from that computer don’t you think!
Do you understand the meaning of teamwork or do I have to explain it to you all over again?
If you ate proper meals, you would not have this disgusting midnight snack habit.
All of the above have been uttered by Ming to me.
Out of the mouths of babes ……!!!!!
The stolen gramophone
For some reason, I have woken up in the middle of the night for the last few nights, boiling with anger against the person who stole Anthony’s portable gramophone.
I’m not sure why I am now so angry when the disappearence of the gramophone happened nearly two years ago.
Anthony, toddler Ming and I bought this gramophone from an antique dealer years ago and it is one of the many things that has enlivened our lives, and entertained visitors over and over and over again. It came with lots of old records and we used to bring it out to the front veranda and entertain people.
But, one day, it disappeared.
I vividly remember us showing it to one of the numerous agency employees who would come once a fortnight to either clean or cook or keep Ants company while I was at work and Ming was at school. Well, she absolutely loved that gramophone and wanted one just like it.
One day, I had to take Ants to the doctor’s and, as it never occurred to me not to trust this agency employee, I just told her not to bother locking the house as we would be back soon. She then told me it was her last day of working for the agency because she was resigning, so I just gave her a bit of a hug and said thank you.
And we never saw that gramophone again.
I have decided to find another one soon so that I can take it into the nursing lodge.
Pathetic poetry
Today is in the dustpan
except for what we planned.
The visitors brought some sweet delights
and I stopped Godfrey’s angry bites
The taxi driver picked Ants up.
but saw my tears and asked ‘what’s up?’
I told him of our history
and he extended his hand towards me.
The days are getting bittersweet
and breathing sometimes seems a feat.
The happy cancels out the sad,
the sadness cancels out the glad.
If I were to go way back in time
I’d find a more specific rhyme.
My heart is torn away from me
and I just want to be left to be….
a bee
on a flower
in the sunshine
or else a perfect syllable.
Love story 87 – Dealing with disappointment
As a young girl in love with an older man who often let me down, I remember being told constantly by him that when I got older I wouldn’t get so disappointed. At the time I was in my 20s and he was in his 40s. I have never forgotten him telling me that and I did, eventually, resign myself to disappointment (when he suddenly couldn’t accompany me to my brother’s first wedding where I was singing; when he suddenly couldn’t come up to Perth for the weekend because the cows were calving; when he forgot to remember my birthday; when he didn’t ring me for over a week; when he asked me to move in with him and then changed his mind ETC.)
Don’t get me wrong. In the end, all of those disappointments were cancelled out in a happilyeverafterish way and Anthony and I had an exceptionally wonderful first year of marriage (and many more), which included Ming’s entry into our lives, before Anthony was struck for the first time with cancer and had to have his kidney removed. Mutual devastation and, yes, disappointment but with a lot of hope too.
Two years ago, Ming was playing football for a local team and for his school when one day he took his guernsey off after a game and I saw how twisted his back was. Now, before you ask why I hadn’t seen this before, it was winter, so I hadn’t seen him with his shirt off for ages. We knew he had a scoliosis and he was being treated regularly by a chiropractor, osteopath, physical trainer, physiotherapist in order to prevent it from getting worse. But on that day, I saw that what had previously only been visible in an X-ray was now visible to the naked eye. I felt a bit sick and quietly asked the coach to take a look … long story short Ming was very suddenly seen by our doctor and a spinal surgeon and told he would have to quit football immediately. This verdict was given a day before his school’s annual football finals in Perth. The disappointment was not only Ming’s but also the two teams he played for, and Ants’ and mine of course because he had been showing great promise and was passionate about football and very good.
There is a lot more to this story including Ming’s sobbing the day we were told he had to stop playing football immediately, that he would have to have surgery and that he would never be able to play football again. And I remember telling him, on the two-hour drive home from this appointment, that the disappointment would ease off as he got older. Instead of resisting this, he dried his eyes and nodded his head in acceptance. “I’ll still be able to ride my motorbike, won’t I, Mum?” he asked.
It took me few ticks to answer this because I had been told by several professionals that he should not be riding a motorbike.
“Of course you can!” I said.
At the end of the football season that year, I didn’t think we would be invited to the presentations because Ming had stopped playing, but on that day, a couple of the mothers of other boys in the team rang me to say we must come because they had something to present Ming with and I was not to tell Ming because it would be a surprise. Well it was a huge shock. The team had ‘retired’ his number 20 guernsey and had it framed with photos of the team and of Ming in action. I was standing at the back of the room chatting to friends when Ming’s name was announced. He had no idea and was just there to cheer his buddies on and I smiled thinking that he would be given a small token. So the shock was pretty huge!
In terms of size, it was the biggest award given that night with lots of cheering for Mingy and I had to bite my lip not to cry. Ming had to give a little impromptu speech and nearly got teary himself and everyone was taking photos but I didn’t have my camera so took the one above the next day. Ming was 16 then.
Well before this event I had told Ming about Anthony’s philosophy of disappointment and I remember Ming wondering about this. However he did turn his football disappointment into the joy of reading the literary classics (hahahaha – that is an absolute joke) – into the joy of music (that is true).
And now, two years down the track, it is Anthony’s disappointment that I somehow have to alleviate. I said to him the other day when he became disappointed about not being able to come home overnight anymore, “You told me once that the older you get, the less disappointed you feel.”
“I was young then,” he said, reaching for my hand.
jmgoyder 