jmgoyder

wings and things

The first word

on October 21, 2012

This word is often the first you utter as a toddler, but it is also the first word you become fearful of. It can be said to you, but you cannot say it back. You can’t say it back when you are a little child because you are a little child. You can’t say it back when you begin school because you are a schoolchild. You can’t say it back to your parents, your teachers, your coaches, your relatives, your friends … because you are not allowed to, no matter how many times it is said to you.  So you grow up and you get your first job and the situation repeats itself until you think that maybe you will never, ever be able to say your first word again. And then, 20, 30, 40 or 50 years into your life, you suddenly realize that it would be rather a handy word to use in some circumstances. So you try it out, very gently, and it works- it works! Then you try it out, less gently, and that works too and this surprises you because you have always been too fearful of using this first word. It is a beautiful word.

No.

Last week I said ‘no’ to Ming and today I said ‘no’ to Ants and, instead of being catapulted off the earth into nowhere, the three of us are still here and my two men have survived my ‘no’ with incredible ease. Of course there is more to this, as my previous blogposts imply, however it is the end result that really matters. I have learned to say no, Ming has learned that I am the boss and Anthony has begun to accept that he is in a nursing lodge permanently.

To celebrate my newfound love of the first word, I went out this afternoon and took some pictures (something I haven’t done for ages) of our beautiful white peacock who seems to think he is the first word bird!

I asked him if I could take just one more photo. He looked at me, turned around, flew high up into the wattle tree and cawed his answer down to me.

No.


58 responses to “The first word

  1. Robyn Lee says:

    I have such trouble with that word Julie ~ good for you!!! Gorgeous shots!! Your ‘healing lens’ at work!! xxoo Love U!

  2. I too, have trouble with this word–but it is a very effective one.

    your bird is very elegant

  3. artsifrtsy says:

    Good for you! No is not a bad word!

  4. terry1954 says:

    you have successfully jumped over a big hurdle. I am so proud of you!!

  5. bulldogsturf says:

    I love the photos Julie.. and I’m glad the camera still works, thought it had been retired or it was saying NO to you… you go girl.. use the word if the circumstances don’t place you first… Hugs to you…

  6. Really enjoyed this post Julie. And lately with all your posts, I find myself sitting your corner and cheering you on from the sidelines! ❤

  7. Oh god but he is beautiful!

  8. Wonderful, strong post, and gorgeous pics.

  9. Mary Cunnin says:

    I’ve been told that NO is the only word in the English language that does not require justification. It’s so true! I know I, for one, need to remember this more often.
    I love your Blog, and look forward daily to your postings. Thank you!

  10. viveka says:

    No is a word we should use more often .. all of us – because. A hard word to use, but we have to at times, because we exhausts us with all yes we give away.
    That peacock just know how to pose …. and he knew how to say .. enough is enough. You should learn from your birds, Julie … don’t mean you should say NO all the the time.

  11. mrs fringe says:

    Great post, and your photos of that elegant peacock–perfect illustrations for the word no. There’s power in simplicity. 🙂

  12. shoreacres says:

    I remember being told, long ago, that I should remember that “no” is as good an answer to prayer as “yes”. The way I figure it, if God can say “No”, it must be a very good word!

  13. What a gorgeous bird! Your “no” post shows you’ve turned a page in the story, Julie. good for you. Kathy

  14. sbcallahan says:

    so happy for you! too many people don’t ever learn the power of this word. it took many years for me to learn the joy it can bring. some would say i have made up for lost time:) now we live in the south where women think it is just not lady-like to use that word. i have to say that i sometimes enjoy the reaction of others when they hear it. a couple of co-workers, who are now friends, almost fell off their seat when i said “no, but thanks for asking.” wow one little word can sure get people uncomfortable.

    it has been a difficult journey for you but you are headed for a smooth landing!

  15. FlaHam says:

    Julie, what a wonderful post, and why did I know “NO” was coming back at you. That single word is one of the most difficult to learn and use. Thanks for sharing how you have done it. Take care, Bill

  16. tootlepedal says:

    Say no more often and take good pictures of peacocks more often too.

  17. bluebee says:

    An enlightening perspective on why it can be so difficult to use that word. I’ve never thought about it. Love these photos, Julie.

  18. tersiaburger says:

    Great post. It actually made me smile. Wonderful photos. Thank you!

  19. dogdaz says:

    I think I will need a lesson on that word. Good for you.

  20. victoriaaphotography says:

    Love that white peacock of yours, Julie. I still find it hard to believe there is such a thing as a white one as all through life, we admire the feathers of blue & green on the normal one.

    ‘No’ is such a powerful word. One doesn’t hear it often. Should be used more in my opinion. Life is not always positive and the sooner people understand that, the sooner they get on with the ‘yes’ things.

  21. Judith Post says:

    I gave up guilt one year for Lent. It sneaks back, little by little, as the year progresses, and then Lent rolls around again, and I’m guilt free for a while. “No” is a beautiful word. It’s honest and empowering. Good for you!

  22. I have trouble with the word NO I am always worried I am letting someone down when I say it

  23. Andrea Kelly says:

    Good for you! I’m so glad to hear it!

  24. elizabeth says:

    So glad you reaquainted yourself with the wonderful word no. It’s a magical word. It closes doors (most) other folk had no right to thoughtlessly open. 🙂

  25. Fergiemoto says:

    Good for you! I just love the white peacock!

  26. Beautiful and majestic!

  27. Good for you. We would do better to learn the fine art of giving as well as receiving a no!

  28. Val Boyko says:

    Good for you Julie! Its time for you to assert yourself in these relationships, as they continue to change in their own way.

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