jmgoyder

wings and things

Arthur’s funeral

on February 7, 2014

Ming and I went to Arthur’s funeral today and I guess, in all such occasions, there is a sense of disbelief that the person is gone. It felt surreal. I tried not to let my mind do the memory play thing – making poached eggs for breakfast for the workers when I was 17 and Arthur was middle-aged, listening to talk about the football and politics, watching him play around with Ming when he was a toddler, sitting on his veranda with Anthony before Anthony had to go to the nursing home, roast duck, turkey or chicken on special occasions like Christmas, Father’s day, Arthur’s birthday, organizing him going into a nursing home when the worker’s hut nearly collapsed, visiting him with Ming and Ants, kissing him on the cheek to say goodbye two weeks ago, not knowing it would be the last goodbye.

Arthur never married or had children and he was a bit of a loner, but he loved just being here, sitting on the veranda. He was way more supportive of my bird idea than either Ants or Ming when I first started getting chooks, geese, peacocks etc. and always gave me the thumbs up (until I got the emus and then he gave me the thumbs down and shook his head!) “Oh Jules,” he would say with a grin.

He was different, unusual and a bit reclusive but one of the things that has struck me over and over ever since Arthur died is that he is the only person I have ever met, or am likely to meet, who is totally without guile.

I wanted so much to show him the new peachicks and now it is too late.

IMG_3267

This little peachick salutes you, Arthur, as we all do.


65 responses to “Arthur’s funeral

  1. Vicki (from Victoria A Photography) says:

    Nothing is ever too late.

    I believe he’s looking down over you, having a chuckle, smiling a quiet sheepish smile and saying……………not some more bloody ‘birds’, Jules.

    How about a cat!

  2. Lee says:

    Sorry to hear about your loss. Wish you the best for a brighter tomorrow.

  3. That was a beautiful remembrance of the man and what he meant to you and your family. I am very sorry for your loss Jules.

  4. He was by how you describe him a ‘what you see is who I am’ kinda guy and I can feel how special he was to you… Diane

  5. sharon says:

    He was very special.. and very unique.. I too have never met anyone like Arthur. RIP dear sweet man xo

  6. He sounds like the kind of person I like… different, and himself. He would be so proud to know you remembered him this way. Gloria :)))

  7. bulldog says:

    What a lovely testament to Arthur… RIP Arthur

  8. I’m so sorry for your loss. What a blessing Arthur was to you and what a blessing you all were to him. HUGS
    Diana xo

  9. janechese says:

    When you first showed the pea chicks, after telling us about Arthur, I could picture him on the porch watching the birds.Thanks for sharing about this man, may the memories warm your hearts.

  10. Trisha says:

    He sounds like the kind of person it is a blessing to know. Rest in peace, Arthur.

  11. So sorry that you’ve lost a dear friend, Julie. Lovely tribute. 🙂

  12. He was obviously a very special person. I would’ve liked to know him.

  13. ksbeth says:

    my thoughts to all of you. he sounds like a very special man.

  14. It looks like you had some more doubts about posting your last one… you shouldn’t be.. If anyone knows about guts spill it’s me and you were not doing so. It really does help to hear the opinions of other bloggers when something is troubling. I do also understand your fragile state right now because I hold on to things as well … I can’t just ‘forget’ fast and move on and say ‘oh well it happened… now lets move on” Otherwise I wouldn’t be in the mind mess I am right now still trying to adjust to my feelings regarding my daughter. Should I be… who knows and who has the right to say how i or anyone handles a situation. It is ‘our’ feelings and we’re justified in having them… NO ONE can say to us we are wrong in them….. I only hope you realize that the person who sent the email is one dogmatic individual allowing only their thoughts and ways to be the right way….. They intentionally hurt you and they are the one who needs your forgiveness…. It is said by some that even though you don’t feel like it … one should forgive… just to be correct… I say that even if you do that it is just a perfunctory gesture if you are still hurting…. but if it would help you just to give closure to the situation then do it just for you. … and feel better my friend … God loves you and so do I Diane

  15. Gutspill anytime you want Julie–I am so sorry someone is being mean to you–if only they knew–hugs

  16. Oh, Julie–I’m sorry for all that you’re going through, loss upon loss and grief upon grief.

    I know nothing really helps us endure the darkness, the confusion and loneliness, in times of crisis. But I do understand what it feels like–I’ve been through 2 times like that myself. Incredibly hard. I honestly didn’t believe I’d live through them.

    Don’t forget to breathe. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I’ve found that when everything is crashing and burning around me, concentrating on the needs of my body, (in an effort to stay alive), can calm me and keep me going. I just, coincidentally, published a post on “breathe.” I had prepared it longer than a month ago to publish yesterday. There’s a link to some breathing exercises.

  17. FlaHam says:

    Julie, Such sweet words about someone clearly important to you. You will these memories, and they will make you smile when you look in the direction of the shed. Take care, Bill

  18. You honor him with your loving comments.

  19. Funerals are always said

  20. Lynda says:

    What a beautiful remembrance of him, Julie.

  21. tersiaburger says:

    I am so sorry for your loss dear friend.

  22. jatwood4 says:

    My deepest sympathies. I know he would have loved the peachicks!

  23. Sending comfort your way….hugs ♥

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