Sometimes we want them to get lost, stop interfering and giving advice, and to stop implying what we should do/be.
Other times, we limp, bruised and bloodied, into their laps, for the kind of hugs that nobody else can give.
On my bulletin board I still keep a note that Ming wrote some months ago – “Stop mothering me!” At the time, he was referring to my overbearing attitude to his diet, so I stepped back from this, finally willing to let him fend for himself.
But. tonight, it kind of went the other way because Ming was asking me why I had taken so long to be okay again, since the car accident. My response was sarcastic: “Not sure, Ming – might have something to do with the fact that five kids were injured?”
Ming: But, Mum, they are all okay now and I always knew they would be!
Me: Well I didn’t know for sure, so I was terribly worried.
Ming: So, Mum, please can you stop worrying now? They are all good!
Me: Okay. I am still reeling from the court case result and can’t quite believe it, Ming.
Ming: Just accept it, Mum – it’s over now. Stop (s)mothering me!