In recent weeks, Anthony is either in bed or in a broda-chair (armchair on wheels). It is a long time since he has been able to walk or sit in a regular wheelchair and, although he is able to weight bear to an extent sometimes, he is more or less bedridden now. I am becoming used to what is still a bit of a shock.
Yesterday, I visited in the late afternoon (something that I had intended to do more regularly – famous last words). He was in bed, looking very comfortable and content. I fed him his vitamised dinner which he gobbled, and some chocolate that I had brought with me. At one point he raised his hands underneath the blanket and they kept getting in the way of the spoon.
Me: Why are you doing that with your hands, Ants?
Anthony: Because I lost them five days ago.
Me: Oh! When did you find them again?
Anthony: Last night.
Me: Where were they?
Anthony: At the nun’s place.
Me: You mean Sister R?
Anthony: Yes.
Me: She’s amazing isn’t she.
Anthony: Wonderful.
We aren’t Catholic but we do have a very good friend who is a nun and she has blessed Anthony on several occasions over the years, so I put two and two together. The way Anthony’s memory works now fascinates me; it is fragmented and peculiar but sometimes wonderfully symbolic.
At around 6pm, he began to drift into sleep and, as I stroked his head, I felt a lurch of bittersweet emotion. I whispered goodbye and kissed him, thinking he was asleep.
Me: You are the most beautiful man in the world, Ants.
Anthony (murmuring): I know.
jmgoyder 
Oh Julie that was so touching . How wonderful for Antony that you are responding to his underlying messages and are not getting caught up with the logical constraints of the English language . It must be hard for people with Alzheimer’s to be constantly misunderstood and dismissed instead of having insightful loved ones rolling with general concepts and validating their conversation as valid . You are a treasure !!
Thanks Heather xxx
just read this out to DH. he often sees my inbox and asks who’s this Jim Go Yonder? hope that’s given you a laugh. Sorry to here Ants is mostly bedridden now.
Haha re Jim go Yonder !
Wonderful, he made me laugh.
Lace is fragile but strong and very beautiful. The holes make the pattern stand out and define the shapes of the design. Anthony’s snippets of memories seem like this. I love what you wrote and the way your love for him never waivers.
Great analogy – thank you Mama xx
The conversations may be a little weird at times, but they are truly unforgettable and unique.
You are being continually blessed with these words and phrases.
❤
I love that you share these tender moments with Ants with us Julie! I have learned so much about going with the flow because of you. Thank you for inspiring us all and giving us peace. xo
Once again your posts produce a mixture of enjoyment and sorrow….and learning.
🙂
emotion all over the place and such a lovely and funny end –
Yes bittersweet indeed
Precious but somber…..hold onto to your faith in God. Hugs and love,
Dale…Brandon’s mom
Thanks Dale – you are so kind x
Smile~~