jmgoyder

wings and things

Dec 29

A brand new thing

by jmgoyder

There is nothing like a brand new thing. It beats the hell out of second-hand.

Godfrey came to us as a 2-year-old (in the poultry world, this is second-hand and, yes, I’m beginning to realise why Godfrey was second-handed to us!)

Our other birds came to us as babies – brand new – like freshly minted sovereigns.

Now that Husband is in a brand new hospital, under the care of a brand new specialist, and being cared for by brand new nurses (new to us I mean) things are looking up. And I’ve suddenly realised that, instead of dreading what might be coming, I/we should be embracing it as a brand new experience.

But still we wait – all of us – for what this brand new experience might entail.

Uncategorized Wings

6 Comments »
Dec 23

Do birds smile?

by jmgoyder

Do birds have facial expressions? I’m not sure, although many bird photographers (some of whom are my favourite bloggers), capture pictures of birds looking scared or angry or surprised – even happy – but I think might be skilled photography, not the bird actually shifting its features around to express any emotion.

Again, I’m not sure.

For me, it’s this lack of facial expression that makes it difficult to ‘read’ birds. Here are some examples:

Godfrey (the gander who likes to bite me) has the same arrogant expression on his face, regardless of whether he is defending his ‘brood’, tripping over his big feet or chasing me.

The Bubbles (our turkeys) have permanently ferocious expressions even when they are giving me their equivalent of a hug, which is sort of like wing-in-your-face+beak-in-your-neck gesture.

Zaruma and Tapper (the Muscovy ducks) always look innocent and befuddled, despite their canniness.

All of the geese look sweet and needy, even when they are fighting over food.

The emus look inquisitive and intellectual, even though one of them can’t tell the difference between a camera and a cabbage.

King and the rest of the peacocks always look a tiny bit disgruntled even though they are obviously ecstatically happy here.

Okay, so many of these bird expressions seem to contradict the reality of the situation, and I have started to take a better ‘look’ at their eyes because I think this may be the key to ‘reading’ them better.

Husband’s Parkinson’s has affected the muscles in his face, so much so that he is unable to smile properly, even when he’s happy, like now – happy to be home. I never realised, until today, how much, how much, how much I miss his huge, boisterous smile.

But the birds have taught me this: smiling isn’t everything!

Wings

8 Comments »
Dec 14

If you love something….

by jmgoyder

Richard Bach (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Bach), author of Johnathon Livingstone Seagull, once said, “If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was”, a quote which is now widely used in various contexts, and a quote that I have always associated with birds and wings and gutsy metaphor.

Tomorrow I have to take Husband up to a hospital in Perth where his condition and medications can be reassessed by his Parkinson’s disease specialist. This will be his fourth visit to this hospital; nevertheless it is always traumatic for both of us because it usually means a stay of around 4-5 days and I have to come home again and leave him there. The geographical distance is only 200 kilometres but it may as well be 20,000 – well, that’s how it feels.

When I first met Husband, I was 18 and he was 41. I had come to look after his mother who had recently broken her hip. It was my first job. For me it was love at first sight; for him, I was just a strange kid. Oh how I loved him! But it wasn’t reciprocated, so I had to do that ‘letting go’ thing. Once I grew up a bit, he fell in love too but it took awhile (just a few years, like a decade – no big deal, ha!)

So, happy ending in many ways – mutual adoration, a beautiful son a year after we were married … and then Husband got kidney cancer. That was the first illness, but it has been followed by a succession, all of which Husband has overcome or, at least, been resilient against. But then Parkinson’s disease took over our lives.

I cannot let him go; I cannot set him free; I wish he would come back.

And he will. While he is in hospital, Son and I will get the Christmas tree up and decorated and wrap Husband’s present. You’ll never guess what it is – it’s a cuckoo clock!

Wings

18 Comments »
Dec 8

Lullaby

by jmgoyder

The sound of their wings as they launch themselves up into the wattle trees at dusk is like a lullaby. I sit quietly and watch as all of the guinnea fowl and peafowl go to bed. I love the way each bird chooses a branch for the night and there is never any squabbling. King peacock is usually the first and then, one by one, or sometimes in pairs, they all fly up.

It is too late in the day for Husband to come outside with me to hear this lullaby, to watch this never-ending work of art, so usually I race back inside and tell him and he gives me that bemused look he is so good at. It’s very similar to Son’s ‘yeah, whatever, Mum’ look, so I’m never quite sure how to interpret it.

If you have been following this blog you will know that Husband has Parkinson’s disease. He doesn’t have the Michael J Fox type; he doesn’t shake at all. He has the kind of Parkinson’s that immobilizes him, that makes it very difficult for him to walk, to get up from a chair, to get out of bed, to be who he used to be – a man who used to run around the paddocks for the fun of it and round up cattle without a motorbike – my hero.

We have just bought a scooter for Husband and, even though he wasn’t that keen to have a vehicle made for the disabled, he actually really likes it now, so tomorrow at dusk, Husband and I will watch the lullaby together.

Wings

16 Comments »
Nov 20

Is that an emu over there?

by jmgoyder

One of Husband’s Parkinson’s disease symptoms is hallucinations. Mostly these are not disturbing and they often feature animals, due to his farming background. So he might see a bull on top of the chest of drawers, or dogs in the corner of the bedroom. It happens outside too; he’ll see livestock grazing in the flower bed; and wild cats on top of the washhouse roof (well, we did used to throw food to them up there!)

It’s as if his memory wants to fill his present (now devoid of so much) with his past (a successful, thriving dairy farmer), and his imagination wants to fill empty spaces with activity, life, movement, animals.

I have become so used to saying “No” when Husband asks questions like, “is that a calf at the end of the bed?” that he and I frequently get the giggles.

I was a bit worried that the birds might trigger even more hallucinations, but, because there are now so many birds, of so many varieties, they seem to have somehow crowded out all of the imagined creatures. Sure, the medication helps, but I give most of the credit to the birds.

Anyway, I didn’t tell Husband or Son about Emery the emu chick. I just brought him home one afternoon and put him in the greenhouse with the Bubbles and the other little ones and in the morning I let them all out to free-range. It wasn’t until the next afternoon, after I’d put Emery and the Bubbles etc. back into the greenhouse for the night that Son spotted him through the glass partition.

“What the hell is that?” he said, his face thunderous, “that better not be an emu!”

“Of course not! One of the Bubbles has just had this amazing growth spurt.” I attempted a smile but it didn’t work.

Son shook his head and turned to go back to the house.

“Don’t tell Dad,” I said, “I want it to be a surprise.”

It was three days before Husband noticed Emery, who had become part of what I called ‘the gang’ – all the baby chicks. Anyway, it was late afternoon and we were sitting outside having a drink when Husband said, “Jules, I think I’m seeing things again. Is that an emu over there?”

Oh what a fantastic thing it was to be able to say, “Yes!”

Note: Even though this is Australia, it is not all that common to have emus as pets.

Wings

10 Comments »
Nov 17

The weiro who writes

by jmgoyder

If you have read my introductory page, ‘About Julie’s bird blog’, you will realise that much of my birdmania has been an attempt to brighten up my husband’s life and to distract both of us from the hell of his Parkinson’s disease (I know that sounds melodramatic, but hell is what this disease is, as some of you may know.)

So when my husband said that as a child he’d wanted Indian runner ducks, I found him a few; when he said he’d always wanted turkeys, I found those too; when he said it would be great to have chooks, I got chooks; and when he mentioned guinnea fowl, I remembered where to go (we’d done this before when he was well) and, instead of just a couple, we purchased 15 of them!

But there was another kind of bird he’d mentioned a lot over the years – a weiro – so I ordered a hand-raised weiro from one the local petshops (yeah, those petshops love me!) I imagined this weiro would perch on Husband’s shoulder and watch Doc Martin or Parliament with him in the afternoons.

So why does this weiro keep interfering with my work? She has a cage on our enclosed veranda but, for most of the day, the cage is open so she can come and go anywhere in the house she likes. However, as my office is at the far end of this veranda, she keeps flying to me. At first I was flattered, but it’s not me she’s interested in; it’s the computer.

She watches me type something then drops from my shoulder onto the keyboard and tries to copy me! I take her to Husband but she flies back to me – well not to me but to my computer.

It’s sweet (actually, no, the sweet factor has soured somewhat); it’s also extremely irritating. I mean look at her in the photo below – she seems smug like she has just finished the first chapter of her autobiography or something.

So, due to the fact that this weird weiro keeps stepping on my keys, please blame her for any future grammatical errors, and any boring or offensive content. Her name is Buttons and – high alert – she is NOT my editor no matter what she tells you (this is just in case she figures out email – you never know with these clever-type birds).

Wings

6 Comments »
Newer Entries »
Blog at WordPress.com.