This Anthonyless house has become a place of procrastination and rage and lassitude. The garden is overgrown, the house needs a sweep, the washing keeps getting rained on, and the meals don’t happen.
This Anthonyless house has lost its routine because he is no longer living here and motivating us to keep up. In very different ways, Ming and I are both in that limboland of depressed energy – he rages and I cry and, no matter how many times we climb up into the sunlight, we keep falling back down into the pit again.
Today, I was going to cook Ming a breakfast of bacon, eggs and tomatoes but, instead, I slept in.
Today, Ming was going to mow the lawns but, instead, he is playing his guitar and watching a movie in his room.
Today, I was going to visit Anthony in the nursing lodge at 11am but I’m not going in until 4pm now because …
EPIPHANY!
If I go in at 4pm with a bottle of red wine, I can emulate what we used to do every afternoon at 5pm at home; we would routinely have a pre-dinner drink. Yes! It has to be 4pm because in the nursing lodge dinner is at 5pm; there is a routine! So, if Ants and I have a drink together and a few olives at 4pm maybe he won’t get this confusion thing later in the evening after I’ve gone home. I could make this a regular routine thing that we both could look forward to!
Perhaps, if this is a regular routine, things will improve emotionally for all three of us? I don’t know. Some of my other haphazard ideas have gone to the wall – showing him my blog didn’t work, wheelchair-taxi rides home didn’t work, taking paperwork in to do with him didn’t work etc. etc.
It wouldn’t have to be every day. I haven’t been able to get in every day anyway, so it could be every second day. I could work this around picking up Ming from music school and his cow-milking schedule somehow. Yes!
I have to give the credit for this routine epiphany to Malay, our biggest and most regular cockadoodledooer! He says that routine is vitally important in terms of organizing the day.
Malay: I crow at 4am and 4pm on the dot. It keeps me sane.
Me: Okay, so how do you know what the time is?
Malay: Julie, I am a rooster!
Me: Oh sorry.
Malay: When you go in this afternoon, I will be crowing for you and Anthony. After all, you both raised me from a chick.
Me: Thanks, Malay.
This Anthonyless house is full to the brim with Anthony – roll on 4pm!
jmgoyder 