jmgoyder

wings and things

Aug 3

Marching orders and mutiny

by jmgoyder

Godfrey: FOLLOW ME, EVERYONE!

Bubble (whispering): Baby Turkey, I have a plan. We’ll humour the old grouch for a few minutes and then we’ll pounce.

Baby Turkey: What does ‘pounce’ mean?

Bubble: You’ll see.

Gang: Oh no – not again!

Geese: Since when did Daffy lead the way?

Daffy: I’m the one most terrified of Godfrey.

Godfrey: That’s it – Hup, two three four, hup, two, three, four! Come on, turkeys, keep up!

Bubble: You grab his wings and I’ll peck his eyes out.

Baby Turkey: Oh, is that what you meant by ‘pounce’? Yes – let’s do it!

Animal Wings

37 Comments »
Jul 8

Six new chooks!

by jmgoyder

In the interests of equalizing the male/female ratio here, I have now purchased six pullets (‘teenage’ hens about to lay eggs) and have confined them to the original chook pen where they are adjusting with a mixture of trepidation and delight. Surrounded by peafowl and guinnea fowl – who fly in and out of the pen whenever they feel like it – the six new chooks are experiencing a kind of culture shock I guess. All four roosters are not allowed into the pen yet so they cockadoodledoo outside the pen constantly but they don’t seem particularly amorous, more curious – maybe even alarmed.

One of my BFFs (being acronymically challenged, I didn’t even know what this meant until last week) helped me pick the new chooks up and gave me some chook advice, as she has had chooks for years.

Daffy wants to join the newbies since Dotty, his ‘wife’ seems to have disappeared. I suspect she is sitting on eggs somewhere but have not been able to find her and Daffy quacks all day for her – his loneliness is gutwrenching. I hope she hasn’t been taken by that fox.

So – another new poultry mini-chapter. Let’s hope it all works out because I want eggs again!

Wings

24 Comments »
Jul 3

Funny incidents

by jmgoyder

FUNNY INCIDENT 1

Anthony and I just had a nostalgic talk on the phone about the Captain Stirling hotel (where he thought he was last night). He remembers vividly his delusional episode which I find rather remarkable. I remind him of our stay there when I was heavily pregnant.

Me: You took me to the cheapest hotel in Perth, with a room that didn’t even have a bathroom so I had get up and go to a communal bathroom a million times during the night because of being pregnant and needing to use the loo. Your were such a tightarse!

Anthony: I thought it was quite romantic.

Me: You really ARE deluded!

Anthony: Remember bumping into Ed in the bar? [distant relation around Anthony’s age]

Me: How could I forget that! Remember how we didn’t understand why the bar was so crowded with middle-aged women?

Anthony: And Ed told us is was ‘Grab a granny night’!

Me: It was appalling! So why did you think you were there last night?

Anthony: Because it looked exactly like the Captain Stirling.

Me: So you’re okay today?

Anthony: Yes, I’m not there today.

Me: Where – at the Captain Stirling?

Anthony: Yes, I’m back here.

Me: Okay, I’ll be in later – I love you.

Anthony: [mumbles incoherently – this is happening a lot now]

Me: I can’t hear you – what did you say?

Anthony: I love you.

Me: Well it’s about time you said that!

Anthony: I couldn’t remember the words.

You gotta laugh!

FUNNY INCIDENT 2:

Ming and I have the usual mother and son conflicts and after a particularly horrible argument, which Ming later insisted on analysing every nuance of until we were reconciled (rather exhausting), we had this conversation-

Ming: Mum, I don’t want to see any of my friends for awhile.

Me: Why? What’s wrong?

Ming: Nothing. It’s just that I want to work on repairing our relationship.

Me: You really are unique, kid!

Ming: I try.

We both laugh!

FUNNY INCIDENT 3

Adolescent peacock 1 [we have too many for me to name them!]: Is Julie watching?

Adolescent peacock 2: She’s trying to take pictures you idiot! Turn around.

White adolescent peacock: I think I’ll leave you guys to it.

Angelina: Those two peacocks are getting very cocky aren’t they, Malay.

Malay: Hey, watch your language!

Tina Turner: Don’t worry, New Kid, around here this is considered normal behaviour.

New Kid: How do they do that feather thing?

Tina Turner: I don’t know and I don’t care!

Phoenix 1: Their need to flaunt themselves deeply saddens me. It’s a sign of the times. I prefer to let my beauty speak for itself.

Adolescent peacock 2: I told you to turn around. Do you think Julie wants a picture of your bum?

Adolescent peacock 1: I can’t turn around because you’re in the way. I’ll try again tomorrow – I’m exhausted.

New Kid: I’m having a bit of trouble adjusting to this place, Malay.

Malay: Don’t worry, New Kid, I was born here and I’ll look after you.

Family LOVE STORY Wings

41 Comments »
Jun 22

‘I thought this was a bird blog!’

by jmgoyder

Angelina: It’s a bird blog primarily, of course, but Julie keeps going off topic.

Queenie: I’ve noticed that. She keeps blogging about silly old men!

King: Like me?

Queenie: Darling, never – your tail feathers will grow back soon!

Baby Turkey: I have now held this pose for several hours but Julie still hasn’t noticed!

Diamond: Me too.

Guinneas: I’m sure she’ll get back on topic soon. We always do.

Phoenix 1: She hasn’t taken much notice of me lately either, which is a bit hurtful.

Godfrey: I suggest we all start biting her. Watch and learn.

Emery 2: Noooooooooooooo!

Tina Turner: Yes – Godfrey is right!

Wings

47 Comments »
Jun 14

Inviolable

by jmgoyder

I love this word so much.

It signifies strength, fortitude, courage and it means you can step off the metaphorical mountain and freefall into the water and easily – very easily – swim to the shore.

Inviolable.

If I had had a daughter I would have called her Viola!

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

35 Comments »
Jun 13

Out-foxing the fox

by jmgoyder

If you were a fox, would you attack or retreat?

If I were a fox, I would retreat!

Animal Wings

30 Comments »
Jun 13

Sitting on the fence

by jmgoyder

Out of all of the ducks and geese, Tapper, our female Muscovy duck, is the only one who can fly. Even Zaruma, the Muscovy drake, can’t fly even though he is supposed to be able to. So, because I put all of them into their yards for the night, it always amazes me to find Tapper outside the next morning, having a lovely time all by herself.

For weeks I had assumed Tapper simply flew up and over the high fence of the yard, but I had never seen her do it. During the day I would often see her fly off the ground (to a height of around 2 feet) and horizontally across the lawn, but the yard fences are very high now (about 7 feet) so, one evening, after locking the gang in, I sat and watched because I wanted to see her fly vertically up and over fence.

I watched and waited from a bit of a distance. Then Tapper did her trick and, when I saw her do it, I couldn’t stop laughing because she doesn’t fly up and over; she actually climbs the fence using her big webbed feet and her wings to flap herself upward. Then she sits on the fence, like this.

Sometimes Tapper poses on top of the fence for ages, swaying back and forth (she can do this for over an hour!), as if to say to the others, ‘You think I’m a little squirt, but now I’m the biggest – nyahnyahnyah!!!’

She has the most incredible sense of balance!

Wings

28 Comments »
Jun 10

Rooster refuge

by jmgoyder

Roosters are the ‘unsung’ of the poultry world because they’re not very necessary. In fact, they are completely unnecessary if you just want eggs and, even if you want to breed chickens, you only need a single rooster for a whole bunch of chooks. People are constantly advertising free roosters or cheap roosters and some of the ads read a bit like this: Ten roosters FREE, wonderful breeders, lovely natures, not overly noisy – seller is willing to travel up to 1,000 kms for FREE delivery. Be quick or you will miss out! Well, you get the picture.

However, if roosters are re-perceived as birds, rather than as poultry, they become quite a different category altogether. (I’m thinking of writing an article called “In defense of the rooster” for the local poultry magazine so this is a practice run – hehe!)

You see at the moment we have four roosters and no hens (chooks). Most of the chooks were killed during that dark night of the fox several months ago, and we lost the remaining few, one by one, until only the roosters were left. Here is a picture of Malay and No-Name about to go to bed. They sleep in that tree, high up in its branches, safe from the fox.

And here is Tina Turner (who has featured in previous posts), wondering whether to join the peacocks on the car. He eventually decides that the table might be a better roost.

And here is our relatively new rooster (given to us) on his first day here, not sure whether he is being scrutinized or worshipped by the peafowl. NK (short for New Kid) has adapted very well and the other three roosters adore him, so much so that he has been given his own special bedtime branch in the tree.

All four roosters have their own personalities:

Malay (raised by his mother under a shed here) is big, strong and loud, and loves flying.

No-Name is shy, deferential and always waits his turn when I am hand-feeding them.

Tina Turner is vain and aggressive; he particularly likes to fly at my legs and claw me but I have now decided that this is his version of a hug.

NK is gradually becoming the head rooster for some reason and the others seem to think he is a kind of god.

“Why do you have so many roosters?” poultry people ask me.

“I just love them,” I say.

Note: We are getting hens soon!

Wings

32 Comments »
May 21

He used to love me!

by jmgoyder

Godfrey, the gander, whose other name is now ‘the Godfather’ was, to begin with, our only goose, and he adored me. He was given to us as an adolescent.

Then we got little Pearl, who Godfrey cherished so much that as soon as Pearl was out of the brooder and free-ranging, Godfrey started to bite me, hiss at me and our relationship is still at a stalemate. Here is little Pearl when she was little!

Since then, our gang of poultry has grown and I was hoping they would all roam around freely during the day in a playful way, but the Godfather has them all organized into a kind of army! They all come to me for bread and lettuce but they do it sneakily because Godfrey disapproves so violently.

Pearl is the one on the far left.

I really miss Godfrey loving me – oh well!

Wings

29 Comments »
May 14

An over-abundance of masculinity

by jmgoyder

I just figured out why there is suddenly so much squabbling amongst our birds; there are too many males! I decided to do a count today and here are the statistics:

  • four roosters (no hens);
  • one golden pheasant (no females);
  • ten peacocks (five peahens);
  • two drakes (two ducks);
  • five ganders (two geese);
  • one emu (two emuettes);
  • two turkey toms (one female); and
  • one weiro.

The fact that we also have two male alpacas and two male dogs means that, if you include Son and me in the equation, and not counting the twelve gender-defying guinnea fowl, we roughly have a ratio of 3 to 1 in favour of the male presence here. It is definitely time to get some more hens!

I figure if there is more of a female presence here, Godfrey will stop trying to lord it over me!

Note: We did have a lot of hens but the fox got them so now I have a better yard, with higher fences. I hope this works!

Wings

34 Comments »
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