wings and things


on December 28, 2011

Ages ago, I discovered that I had massive wings. However, like the wings of many of our birds, mine don’t provide lift-off.

I can’t fly away.

I can’t fly at all.

My wings are more like curtains, behind which I hide Son’s grief and anger, Husband’s fear and confusion, and my own despair. In this blog I have occasionally lifted corners of my wings to reveal these things, but I have tried not to do this too often.

Now my massive wings are molting – just like King peacock’s feathers – and they no longer look like wings; they look skeletal.

They are skeletal. My wings have become featherless, shredded curtains, impossible to hide behind.

Husband has to go back into hospital tomorrow. And this time he might not be coming home again.

So, today, the remnants of my massive wings fell off and blew away in the breeze.

36 responses to “Wings

  1. victoriaaphotography says:

    I’m so very sorry to hear this news, Julie.

    I wish I could say something to ease the pain both you and your Son must be feeling. All I can say is that I hope your Husband will be comfortable in hospital in the coming days and that both you and your Son will be able to spend time by his side to ease his fear and confusion.

    My thoughts are with you.

  2. Dearest Julie, thinking of you and praying he does return x

  3. meglane says:

    My tears are falling on the keys. You will fly again my daughter.. Your love for Husband is stong enough to conquer any storm. M.L.

  4. Michelle says:

    Thinking of you all. ❤

  5. Diana Adams says:

    Thinking of you all. We will be saying a heap of extra special prayers for you. It would have to be the most difficult decision ever! Stay strong and sending lots of love to you all.

    Diana and Steve xxx

  6. Ingrid Rickersey says:

    Julie I know this is a difficult time for you now and I just want to say that thoughts and prayers are with you as you weather this storm. Naturally you are unable to fly just now as your energy is channelled to nurturing husband and son. God bless you all.

  7. Tilly Bud says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. You are all in my prayers.

  8. dodsy says:

    there are many wings that will support you, for sure each of you have guardian angels, i love you x

  9. cuhome says:

    Beautiful how you wrote of your husband’s decline. I am sorry and wish I could ease your pain. I’ll have to settle for giving a hug over the internet: “hug”

  10. Northern Narratives says:

    Thinking of you during this difficult time.

  11. Kathryn says:

    I’m thinking of you Julie x

  12. bluebee says:

    I am sorry, Julie

  13. donna says:

    Oh dear Julie…thinking of you and I hope the birds can stand in for your own wings for a while xxx

  14. Oh, Julie, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Such a difficult time to face these things…well, it’s difficult at any time. I wish you well.

  15. Annie says:

    Dearest non-flying bird

    Your journey is so tough but there is also so much beauty and joy in how you are travelling. You will fly again in spirit if not in body. Keep strong.

    All my love Annie

  16. pixilated2 says:

    Good grief. I put all my fellow bloggers on “digest” mode to have their posts delivered once a week Mondays… I’m taking you off digest mode. There is simply too much going on in your life and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when it came through.

    xo, Lynda

  17. Neil says:

    Lost for words
    I wish you well

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