jmgoyder

wings and things

Chasing Joy

on March 5, 2012

You can’t chase joy and, if you try, it tends to get away.

and you can’t just sit there and wait for it to return either because joy doesn’t like lassitude.

You have to create joy in order to entice its proliferation

and you have to embrace it when it does accidentally bump into you on its way somewhere else.

There is a bird here called Joy and it flutters around in my hair, smoodges into the inside of my elbows, perches on the toes of my boots, sits comfortably in my pockets, and comes and goes as it pleases.

It isn’t real, this Joy – it’s more than real.

Yeah, I know, abstract poetry doesn’t work but what the hell!

Okay, so today is Husband’s third day home and two out of three of his nights here were good. During the second night he got that leg pain thing and the painkillers didn’t work so that was a bit horrible, but last night was peaceful for all of us. Today I can sense a strange restlessness in him, almost as if he wants to go back to the nursing lodge where the care is definitely far superior to mine (and the meals he said – hrmpph!)

It’s been a mixed long weekend – the three of us together but separate. A mixed weekend too because of unexpected traumas, expected tensions, mutual avoidance, remembered adoration.

Chasing joy is a futile exercise and you know why?

Because it’s often just around the corner waiting to say ‘BOO!’

Oh yeah, and Joy doesn’t like having its photo taken – sorry!


6 responses to “Chasing Joy

  1. All I Can do is smile~

    • jmgoyder says:

      Well, after searching again today for my Emerys, it seems that they are long gone. They can run so far so fast that they could be 10kms from here now. They have been sighted a couple of times, neighbours tell, me but seem okay foraging on their own. Great relief.

  2. Tilly Bud says:

    Your lives have changed, and now home is less familiar to your husband than it once was. That’s sad, but inevitable. And probably better in the long run.

  3. […] Chasing Joy (jmgoyder.com) […]

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