March | 2012 | jmgoyder

Anchorage

by jmgoyder

Husband and I have been married nearly 20 years – our 19th anniversary is coming up soon but we both always forget about it and my mum inevitably reminds us with a phonecall! Anyway, for most of those years of marriage, he has been an anchor for my flightiness, so I find it a little strange now to be his anchor, when I don’t feel anchored myself.

He is home now. It was supposed to be for one night but yesterday afternoon, despite my intentions to keep this ‘visit’ upbeat, he and I both became emotional and I rang the nursing lodge to say he would be staying home an extra night. His sigh of relief made the difficulty of this extra night worth it, but, because, like the first night, it was a difficult night of getting up and down, we have both realized that the nursing lodge was a good decision.

As usual, we were very honest with each other and Son’s occasional interjections were bitingly honest: “Dad, Mum and I can’t look after you as well as they do in the nursing lodge – can’t you see that?” He added a few adolescent expletives to emphasize his opinion which we forgave him because, after all, he is still trapped in his back splint and can’t help me tend to Husband.

The guilt associated with having to ‘place’ the love of your life into care, despite that person’s agreement to do so, is something difficult to describe. So many friends have expressed to me how terrible this felt for them in terms of their parents, and their empathy and commiserations are much appreciated. However, what many people forget is that Husband is not my parent – he is my husband. It even took awhile for the nursing staff at the lodge to realize this because he is 23 years older than I am, so it was assumed that I was his doting daughter! This kind of mistaken identity thing has happened many times over the years and is a source of much hilarity – well, it used to be!

Five weeks ago, while Son was in intensive care, I took this photo from my hotel balcony in Perth. I was actually trying to get a picture of the elusive swans!

Family Friendship

18 Comments »

Wrong number

by jmgoyder

There was a mix-up (not mine) with Son’s appointment to see his surgeon so we were quickly rescheduled and I wrote it down. Then today I suddenly realized I would need to make the appointment later that day as we live two hours away and etc. So I rang back.

Me (on the phone):

Hi, it’s me again, Julie, about that appointment for my son, I really need to change it to later in the day because I didn’t realize I had another appointment earlier and we live 200 kms down south so what would be the best way to do this, should I ring the other number or should I cancel my other appointment so I can make this appointment because my son really needs to see the surgeon because it’s five weeks and someone made a mistake and he wasn’t booked until end of April but we can’t wait that long because the surgeon said he would need to see my son four weeks post-op., can you advise me, oh sorry and what’s your name again, I don’t want to forget it because you’ve been so helpful, really grateful for everything and he’s doing really well but I was getting a bit worried when I didn’t get a letter from the hospital about the appointment.

Woman (on the other end of the phone):

I’m sorry, but I’m a bit confused. My name’s Verity but this is BodyTrim.

[Me: Pause, gasp, cringe!]

Needless to say, Verity and I had a huge laugh!

Family

22 Comments »

Tactile defensive

by jmgoyder

Long ago, when I was a nurse, I worked for several years at a hostel for multi-handicapped people, in Perth, Western Australia. Even though this job was initially extremely confronting due to the severity of the various disabilities suffered by the residents in this hostel, I loved working there. However, one of the most challenging situations was caring for those people who were ‘tactile defensive’, who didn’t like to be touched. Zac was one of those people. He was eight years old, blind, deaf, could only walk with assistance and (supposedly) ‘mentally retarded’. He spend most of the day rocking, groaning, gnawing his hands and headbanging and, yes, he hated to be touched. Feeding, bathing, dressing him, putting his protective helmet on and bandaging his hands, was not a job for the faint-hearted because he would lash out and scream despite our gentleness with him. I don’t think I have ever come across a person or situation more heartbreaking. His family never visited because I think they just found it too hard.

The description, ‘tactile defensive’ has never left me and, in terms of the birds, it is the peafowl who most remind me of Zac because, even though they are not disabled, they hate to be touched. I can pat all of ‘the gang’ (the chickens, ducks, geese and turkeys) but not the peacocks and peahens. The weird thing is that the peafowl will happily touch me – peck at my hands for bread, peck at my knees for bread, peck at my toes for bread – but if I reach out to pat them, they let out little yelps and back away.

I have a healthy respect for those who are ‘tactile defensive’, so when Queenie (our oldest female) stepped on my foot as I was distributing bread this morning, I patted her back without thinking and she let me! Mind you, it was only one quick pat and she stood back and looked at me quizzically, as if we had both entered a parallel universe!

Once, Zac, quieter than usual, reached out and touched my hand with his wounded fist. As usual, the bandages had come off. I held his bruised and bloodied hand in mine for around five seconds and he stopped rocking and raised his face to ‘look’ at me with his blind eyes. Every time I am able to pat a peacock, I will think of that moment with Zac.

Wings

32 Comments »

An interesting courtship – or two

by jmgoyder

I just found this ‘leftover’ photo in my files, ready to delete because it’s so blurry. It was taken ages ago before I knew that Phoenix 1 (golden pheasant) had ‘a thing for’ Malay (hen that looks like a rooster).

I have since done a bit of delving into whether pheasants and chickens can make a go of things and, apparently, yes they can but the eggs will be unfertilized. While I was doing this extraordinary googling, I also discovered that geese and ducks can also have relationships but, again, none of the eggs will be fertile.

So things are beginning to make more sense around here. The only problem now is that there are 9 eggs in the middle of one of Husband’s many shrubs and we don’t know whose eggs they are!

Wings

16 Comments »

WordPressing problems

by jmgoyder

I don’t really want to a blog about blogging, when I want to blog about other stuff, however there are certain things about the way WordPress works which may need attention. I’m not complaining, just responding to the problems I feel need to be ‘fixed’. I will try to outline my suggestions as entertainingly as possible.

A relative just emailed me, distressed because she thought one of the posts I reblogged (and I don’t do this often) was me talking, not the original blogger, so she thought I was going to get a divorce! This misunderstanding is because the reblogger’s comment (mine) came at the end, rather than at the beginning, of the reblogged post (the brilliant writer who is not me!)

Along the same lines, everything is backwards in time; i.e you have to read your comments backwards and your ‘followers’ have to read your posts backwards. So, every time you subscribe to a blog, or vice versa, it’s a bit difficult to get to the beginning first and read through subsequent posts in an orderly fashion (you know, February to March, rather than March to February).

I find the term ‘follower’ a little strange because, for me (yes it’s just me and probably everyone will disagree) connotes with either ‘disciple’ or ‘stalker’.

Also, when someone ‘likes’ my post, I am also told by WordPress that they think it is “awesome” (and again, vice versa). Okay, I quite like my cute little nose but I don’t think it’s awesome.

I hope this doesn’t sound too cynical or rebellious; WordPress is awesome!

I’m ducking for cover now – hehe!

blogging Uncategorized

30 Comments »

by jmgoyder

Julie’s comments: This blog is one of my favourites because not only is ‘artful’ a fantastic writer, her strength of character reminds me of the eagles in the video clip – both of which are inspirational!

Uncategorized

4 Comments »

Turkey tantrums

by jmgoyder

Okay, just in case you haven’t been following this blog for long, we now have exactly three turkeys (two of whom are called ‘Bubble’), and three emus (all of whom are called ‘Emery’). We had more of both breeds but have suffered some unforseen casualties, all of which are documented in previous posts. The only turkey who disrupts things now is our most recent addition to ‘the gang’, and we call her ‘Baby Turkey’ because two seconds ago she was tiny!

She is a real bully and scares the hell out of the poor emus when I’m taking them for a walk. I can’t believe Baby Turkey has transformed from a timid little chick into this Terminator character.

Wings

28 Comments »

Three girls flying

by jmgoyder

Yesterday I tried to insert this picture and accompanying article into my metaphor post because I thought it fitted well with that theme, but it ended up being too small, so here it is again. This picture is of my beautiful niece and her friend and the words are by my mother … read on

And who is the third girl you ask? My mother, of course, who has winged her way through widowhood, cancer, hearing loss and now an eye problem, with flying colours!

Family Friendship Wings

24 Comments »

Oh to be a metaphor!

by jmgoyder

I have always loved the elusive notion of metaphor, and the way it dances and flits from one meaning to another, evading capture.

Okay, back down to ground level….

Unlike Woodroffe (always very grubby), our other Sebastopol goose, Diamond, keeps her multitude of feathers very clean. This is her, wondering if she should venture into a bath already used by Woody, Zaruma and the other members of ‘the gang’. I can definitely understand her reticence!