I remember feeling a terrible guilt over my glee at being able to go back to Inna’s house despite my father’s death.
My guilt was multi-faceted because I felt guilty about my joy at seeing Husband-to-be on a daily basis; I felt guilt every morning I rode my bicycle away from my mother’s house; I felt guilt that my father’s sudden death had made me temporarily popular; I felt guilt that my mother and brothers and I didn’t talk about our Dad-grief.
All of that young guilt eventually turned my ridiculously sweet nature into a bitter sourness and, one day, as I was hanging the clothes out for Inna and waiting for the hour when I would be able to go home to my mother, who mourned, but didn’t show it, Husband came over from the dairy and asked if I could stay the night with Inna because he wanted to go out.
Without any pre-warning, the biggest fury I have ever felt, grabbed me and I yelled, “YOU ARE A SELFISH PIG!” I then abandoned the washing, hopped on my bicycle and rode home, crying as hard as I could all the way so that, when I got home, I would be able to give my mother a smile.
jmgoyder 
Hmmmmm.
So was it that particular night that Husband-to-be wanted to go out? Or was it some night in the future? Not sure if your going straight home that day meant he couldn’t go out that night.
Or is the answer in the next episode?
Just checking…..
I used to read books all night until I’d finished the last page of the current book, so I had to always read on Saturday nights, not a week night (when I had to get up for work the next morning).
Not sure that I’m coping too well with this serial……..Big Grin……
It was that night! I couldn’t believe it!
(Victoria, I have never met anyone else who did that before. Glad I’m not the only one who had to read to the end no matter the hour. 😉 ) ~ L
You had a lot on your plate for a young girl.
Probably nothing compared to kids these days!
that was good!!!
Have I mentioned how much I love your love story series??? It’s funny how much guilt, we as women, seem to carry throughout our lifetime.
Thank you!!!!
Good for you! I would love to know what he thought about that outburst!
He got a real shock!
Wonderful. I enjoyed and love. Thank you, dear Julie, have a nice day, love, nia
Julie, I am positively squeeling to know what happened next! Talk about your cliff hanger!
~ Lynda
You are so funny!
You had quite a lot to deal with at such a young age and no way to really vent it. Well, I’m sure it felt good to let it out a little to him. He must have been quite startled!
He was very startled and still remembers it!
Yeah, you told him! Selfish pig. I’ll have to remember that one. Oblivious, that’s what they are. But I know you miss him.
Oh my — a visceral response it seems! That happens when you love someone soooo much ~ think the emotion has to sneak out in one way or another…and if he pissed you off – “selfish pig” seems as good a reply as any!! LOL~ you are a riot Julie!xo
Neither of us have forgotten that incident!
Cathartic on a number of levels – I admire your spirit 🙂
Wow! This is a powerful post!
Ha!
Ok, I know it’s not funny, but it kinda is. I think the fact that I know he married you is what makes it funny, although the circumstances certainly are not. Do you see?
Yes, exactly!
You were young and grieving; it was inevitable.
Sounds like you had a lot bottled up inside that needed to come out.