I have now spoken to two of Anthony’s doctors about the possibility of him going on antidepressants or some sort of medication to lift his spirits. The trouble is, of course, that when asked, “Are you depressed?” he immediately says no, without the slightest hesitation. Despite his inability to smile or laugh in the ‘normal’ way anymore, he still has the most amazing ability to remain relatively stable emotionally (it is me who zigzags constantly from one mood to another!) However, it is becoming more and more obvious that not being home is making him constantly sad, and longing for us – Ming and me – is making him even sadder. His head is always bowed right down now (an effect of Parkinson’s and his spinal condition) so that when he stands he is almost bent double and I have to kneel down to look him in the eyes.
When I thought about telling Anthony about my weird dream (see previous post), I anticipated he would laugh his head off because I keep forgetting he can’t laugh at all. Every time I see him I get a shock all over again at how deteriorated he is – and how quiet, sometimes sullen. So this week I am going to organize an appointment to get some happy pills – after all, what harm can it do now? I realize this post may elicit mixed opinions and that’s probably a good thing. I don’t know what else to do.
I’ve been wondering why I continue to love Godfrey the gander, despite the way he bites me all the time (even when I am giving him bread!) and I think it’s because his confidence, his boisterousness and his strut all remind me of Anthony when he could stand up straight.
jmgoyder 
I am currently on antidepressants , they don’t always lift your spirits , they don’t work that way..please be careful with them …they make you bleed , sleep , eat they are no miracle cure
Okay and I really appreciate your opinion Tim – thanks! J
Excuse the hi jack: Tim, if the anti depressants aren’t helping you, you should not just give up on them, there are many to choose from. Have you discussed this with your dr. Trust me, I’ve taken 7 or 8 different drugs over the last 25 years. Some worked, some didn’t. Some weren’t worth the side effects. Please find one that works for you. (I now return you to Julie’s Blog.)
Hope Tim sees this. Thank you!
Yes … i do understand this …I have only tried this one and it dosent work …I need to try another ,, my doc is just sandbagging because she doesnt seem to know about them..
Can you see another doctor for another opinion?
Its in the works …
Yay!
You really ought to see a Psychiatrist to get your meds straight, they’re the experts and I did not get better until I started seeing one. Only once every couple months to monitor the meds. You CAN live a normal life. I hope for the best for you.
I go to a counsellor sometimes so will discuss with her.
oops, I meant that message for Tim.
Hahaha – well it was good for me too!
Thanks , and I do have an appt to see the psychiatrist ..Can’t wait to get this going ..thanks for your advise ..
Good luck.
Thanks!
I am sure you will receive many opinions on this so let me just be one of them. the sadness is normal and so is the “depression.” mood stabilizers may make his flat affect even more pronounced. when seeing patients it was often the family asking for the “identified patient” to be prescribed what they felt to be the appropriate medication.
much like pain we as a society are quick to turn to chemistry for the relief we seek. they can be of great benefit in the crisis, however, if it is going to be chronic pain there needs to be an exploration of alternatives. sometimes, we need to feel the pain both physical and psychic.
I continue to send my best wishes to you and your family! no one can really give you more than an opinion since we are not in your heart or anthony’s.
I hear what you are saying so will tread very carefully here – thanks so much!
Sounds like it is hard to know what Anthony is thinking at this stage of his illness. It is obvious, that your visits bring him a lot of joy (even if he can’t always show it).
I know you have his best interests at heart. I also understand that you are the type of person that can’t bear to see someone suffer in any way.
Do what you think best, be it ‘Happy Pills’ or whatever.
After all, as you say, what harm can it do now. If there is even the faintest chance that Happy Pills will increase the quality of Anthony’s Life and lift his spirits, I would be pounding on the Dr’s door demanding a script for them.
Its so easy for outsiders to make judgements. Its so easy for family to follow the strong moral or religious highway. But they are not Anthony. As the closest person to him, surely you are the person with the best chance of knowing his true wishes.
I’ve decided to discuss with the man himself – Anthony – thanks so much Victoria and yes it is a tricky dilemma. Juliex
Thinking of you.
Thanks lovely Anneli!
I’ve no clue wht these meds mean for someone with PD. I trust that Anthony’s doc’s do. I have to join in with you Jules and stand on the soap box of quality of life. I believe if it was my D I would want for him that which helped his remaining days be ones that he could smile through. Better living through chemistry in some parts of our lives.
If the doc’s say that him taking these meds could actually improve his state of mind than who I to stand in front and deny him and you this time? I could not.
So, no matter what others say Dear Jules, you stand tall and firm in that you are doing the very best that you know how. For your beloved Anthony and for you too.
Yes it’s a tricky one. I think if Anthony agrees to something very mild, it might just take the edge off – crossing my fingers!
Thanks Baroness! Juliexx
Oh Jules, so many decisions – you must be exhausted. Thinking of you constantly!! M.
Thanks Michelle. Is that you? You came up as anonymous!
Yes I pressed ‘post comment’ too quickly
Oh Jules, so many decisions. Thinking of you constantly! M.xx
Aha – it is you!
If it won’t hurt him, then where’s the harm? It may even help.
That would be wonderful.
good luck with whatever you decide – you are in the best position to make the choice – you are an intelligent woman, so you know your options – I know people who have had great relief from the “happy” or as we call them at my house affectionately “looney” (we are Canadian after all) pills
I am hoping Ants will agree to some sort of mild dose – we’ll see!
oh I ache inside for you – I would be fraught to say the least. It would be great if there was some sort of forum of Alz./Park support that would be able to share what their experiences were/their loved ones’ experiences were just so you might have an idea of what they recommend/do not recommend. All I can think of is to question the doc as to what the worst case scenario is if you try the antidepressants. Because I agree with you that the hopeful positive change would be a service to Anthony, to you.
Hang in there – hugs from Vermont, USA!
Thanks Tammy. There are a lot of support groups and stuff and a wealth of information on the web of course (too much actually!) so it will be interesting to see what decision we make. You are very kind to be concerned – thank you. I don’t mean to sound like such a moaning minny – haha! Juliex
i don’t blame you at all for trying the antidepressants. Al has been on so many and the doctors finally took him off all of them last week. The parkinson’s is stronger then the aniidepressants, an so no one could see changes any longer, unless i was willing to go to the level three medications, and those would keep him a zombie. i wish you luck.
Yeah, I’m beginning to think it might not be such a good idea after all especially if it hasn’t worked for Al. I mean I know everyone’s different. Oh well, back to the drawing board!
i am not trying to dissuade you, but just letting you know the Parkinson symptoms are stronger than the depression. maybe it will help with Ants, i don’t know, but for Al he never showed any improvements after trying several kinds………..
Yes, I am beginning to think maybe there isn’t much point – I’ll keep you posted Terry – thanks so much again! Juliex
Thinking of you and Anthony–I know you will make the right decisions for him. Just, just remember to allow him to feel–if he felt no longing for you or home, how would he then feel joy when he comes home to visit?
That is a very good point – thanks Susan! Juliexx
(((Julie)))
You too!
Anti-depressants can help, I had a real stigma against them until I had no choice but to take them and yes they worked, after trial and error though, Sertraline was the name of the ones that worked for me, hope you can get him to try something, as you are all suffering at present.
Best Wishes
Baarbaara
Thanks Baabaa!
I have very strong opinions for me about drugs because I’ve had horrifying and nightmare experiences (and that’s a huge understatement) with prescription medication in general, and doctors pushing drug after drug on me. Personally, I feel better and and am much better off without these drugs given my current conditions. I have found alternative and more natural ways to manage, which are healthier for me. I don’t judge others. I agree with you about discussing it together with the doctor to see what is best for Anthony given his condition.
Your comment reminded me of a story I heard where an elderly person was taken off all medication and actually improved so you have definitely got me thinking! We have tried so many alternative methods and Ants has been on so many different medications that it’s like a quagmire. Thanks again, Fergiemoto, for your input. Your experiences does sound horrific!
I hope you, your husband, and doctors find a solution that will help make the days easier and more enjoyable.
Thanks, beautiful girl!
Good idea, they could help you too.
Yes!
I think that talking about the anti-depressants with Anthony and his doctors is a good idea. And, of course, he will probably not think that he needs them. But, it’s still a good discussion to have, and to keep an open mind about.
I think I’ll mention it today to Ants.
I do feel for you from the bottom of my heart. Go with your heart and your instincts and I hope that you will find the right answer.
Thanks Jo – I really appreciate this! Juliex
Nothing wrong with happy pills, Julie. They help millions of us
Crossing my fingers for tomorrow’s appointment!
Good luck. I hope the pills work.
Saw one of his doctors this morning and it’s a bit tricky.
Have you considered the anti depressants for yourself?
Yes indeed.
The comments were off for your previous post, too. Is it every 13th post that the comments are off? lol
Who knows? It just happens sometimes – argh! It better not be every 13th or that would be scary!
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