Today I met some friends for lunch at a place called The Happy Wife.
I have been there before and the name of this little restaurant is an interesting thing to discuss. It could be assumed, I suppose, that it means that a happy wife is one who is out to lunch rather than making lunch? I don’t know. Anyway, the place has taken off like a rocket ship and is very popular.
After lunch, I went to see Anthony and spent a couple of hours with him. He didn’t bring up the subject of coming home for the weekend, so I didn’t either, even though I was ready to say it is now impossible. He was more physically mobile but also a bit more confused (the hardest part of this confusion is he doesn’t think he’s seen me, or spoken to me for ages, so a whole lot of yesterdays have been vaccuumed into oblivion and I have to convince him otherwise).
He wants me to get our bentwood chairs fixed and even gave me someone’s name so I am going to do that and all of that made sense, but in the next breath he asked what had happened to all of our furniture, so our conversation was a mix of real and surreal. I asked if I could bring a couple of pictures in and a clock (the cuckoo clock I bought him for Christmas) and he said yes. A few weeks ago he wouldn’t agree to anything from home being brought in so I didn’t because I didn’t want to hurry the sensation of permanency for him and with good reason because today he said it again: “I didn’t think this was going to be permanent.”
I decided not to respond to that and instead said, “How come you are so good at grimacing these days but you can’t grin?” so we bantered a bit. Of course I didn’t tell him I had been out to lunch at The Happy Wife because it only hurts him to think I might be doing something unnecessary when I could be with him.
I was such a happy wife.
Note: Yes, yes, I need to get a scanner! On the other hand, a photo of a photo can make a handful of years look like aeons and that’s what it feels like sometimes. Look how happy we were.
jmgoyder 
I love how you doubled up on the meaning of happy wife –
It just kind of happily happened – ha!
Great name for a restaurant and I love the photo!
I wonder if The Happy Husband would work so well – somehow I don’t think so – hehe!
haha! I agree, it even sounds funny 😉
They do great salads!!
you write so well, and always hold my interest, but i also see and feel the hurt from what this illness has done to Ants and to you and your marriage, and your family. i often feel like i am watching Al die. it is like a slow motion movie. it has nothing to do with Al’s comments about dying, it is watching his body disenigrate. wrong spelling, but i believe you understand
Oh Terry – I completely understand! Gotta go to bed now but will check in on you first thing in morning – don’t forget we can use email. Juliex
alright, get a good rest
Glad you got to BE a happy wife, and glad you got to go to The Happy Wife. Maybe it’s a wife who always wanted to open a restaurant???? My mom has a cuckoo clock she loves. Wherever she is, it is. It doesn’t run now, but it makes her happy.
I’m taking it in today. It isn’t running properly but that’s okay – we have a nephew who can come and adjust it. What a lovely thing that your mother treasure hers so much.
I lost my uncle to the duo of MS and Alzhiemers. I pray for you with every post that comes up on my reader.
Tim
Thank you very much Tim! Julie
Look at it from the other side – be thankful you had those happy years. Some people never do.
Very good point – you are so right Anneli! Jxx
Yes, I can see you are so in love – beautiful couple. Great picture! I know you certainly miss the old Ants.
I really like so much the way the copy aged the photo. It has the perfect ambiance to the photo. Looking into your lives feels like home in so many ways and I am touched and grateful you share things like this.
So tell us, is the owner og Happy Wife a happy wife too?
I think the owner is a happy husband!!
Somehow, I think The Happy Husband would be a whole different kind of establishment!
Hehe!
I love that photo of you two.
Me too!
Great name for a restaurant.
It must be a real brain strain trying to juggle your conversation and decide what to say and what not say in answer to Anthony’s questions – sounds like you’re doing a great job – well done !
Thanks Victoria – yes the conversation meanders a lot! Juliexx
That’s a marvelous photo. It’s interesting – most of my photos from Africa are gone now. They simply faded away, until it was impossible to identify the locations or the people. Those days of film had their problems – it often was improperly stored and badly developed. Put all that with the tendency of film to fade anyway, and it’s very much like watching a person with dementia, or Alzheimer’s, or just a big old pile of years on top of them slowly fade away.
Mom and I would joke that she was like the Chesire Cat – one day, there just would be a smile, hanging in the air. That’s not the worst thing in the world.
What a wonderful phrase – a smile hanging in the air!
Side note: am still having WP issues and have been contacted by the help people and told what to do – for eg. just resubscribed to your blog but still no email notification – grrrr
And still a very considerate one 🙂
I’ll take your word for it!
I don’t know if it would help but could you take a photo of him each time you visit, with a calendar or newspaper in the frame? Might set his mind at rest. Or upset him more because he doesn’t remember.
How difficult it all is.
Great idea but he is beyond this I’m afraid. I wish I had done what you suggest earlier but I didn’t anticipate how fast he would deteriorate mentally, and neither did he. Ming saw it coming a long time before I did.
A lovely couple!!
We were.
Wish I was happy with my husband now as you were then. I’m having a pity party on your blog, forgive me!
Sorry things are tough for you!
Not like that, it’s just no grand love affair. That’s what I meant.
Oh, sorry – anyway I am possibly overromanticizing things now it’s kind of ending.
I’m too young to assure you that I understand, but i feel your pain.
Love x
You really are a special person!