wings and things

A letter of thanks

on July 7, 2012

I have decided to write a letter of thanks to the wonderful staff at Wattle Hill Lodge so that they know how much they are appreciated. This is a first draft!

A letter of thanks to all staff looking after Anthony

Thank you for being so kind and considerate, way beyond the call of duty.

Thank you for being so gentle with Anthony, for liking him, for talking to him and listening to him.

Thank you for tolerating my uncertainty and ignorance of various rules, like signing in and out, coming in when there was a gastric outbreak, forgetting to fill out the satisfaction survey.

Thank you for your friendly smiles and greetings when you are rushed off your feet.

Thank you for putting up with my phonecalls to you when I can’t get through on Anthony’s phone.

Thank you for not minding our son Ming’s loud cheekiness.

Thank you for telling me that some of Anthony’s clothes were a bit shabby, to bring him socks that had treads on them, to bring him long pants (which he has always hated, but is now okay with).

Thank you for not minding when I accidentally interrupted your lunch breaks, or handover, or couldn’t remember the code to get out of the door.

Thank you for accepting that I can’t sew so all of Anthony’s clothes are labelled with a texta.

Thank you for not telling me to get lost when I wanted to help you help him with the toilet.

Thank you for so quickly realising I was not his daughter.

Thank you for telling me how disappointed Anthony was when I altered arrangements to bring him home.

Thank you for adjusting his phone, ringing me on his phone, recharging his phone when it was flat.

Thank you for making him feel safe, secure and fine at night now.

Thank you for tolerating the various doctors’ alterations of medications.

Thank you for the fact that Anthony thinks/knows you are all wonderful.

Thank you for being so kind to me too.

Thank you for not noticing that underneath my smile, my heart is ripped apart and the floor of my life is covered in the blood of loss.

Thank you for telling me I shouldn’t be lifting Anthony on my own.

Thank you for telling me that you had also noticed he was becoming more confused.

Thank you for talking to me, chatting to me, making me feel normal – making us feel normal – in a comfortable, cup-of -tea way.

There are so many more thankyous to you guys. I used to be an enrolled nurse and I mostly worked in nursing homes or with multi-handicapped people, so I know what you are all having to do to help Ants as he deteriorates, and I salute you.

So, thank you from my heart – all of you. I haven’t mentioned names here because I don’t know everybody’s names yet but I will work on that.

51 responses to “A letter of thanks

  1. camsgranny says:

    I’ve been here…and know this, Hugs to you for this….more than you know…xxoo

    • jmgoyder says:

      Do you think you will go back to the nursing home idea?

      • camsgranny says:

        I’m not sure, the option is always there, but for us, Momma responds better to the Farmer and I, while she made progress at the Nursing home, she has blossomed at home. We still have some really crappy days where Parkinson’s rears its head and doesn’t go away, and usually those are the days she enjoys her bed, but we all know I’m the therapy police, and I still get her to exercise. Your question really made me stop and think though. My heart says a definate no, my mind says it could be possible.

      • jmgoyder says:

        I think you are wonderwoman!

  2. Judith Post says:

    Nice. Good nurses treat both the patient and their families, because it’s stressful for everyone.

    • jmgoyder says:

      I’m glad I once was a nurse because I have a bit of insight into how difficult their job is.

      • Judith Post says:

        My daughter’s a nurse, and she started in nursing homes before she went to work at a hospital. She’s always been glad she did. Being a nurse is a hard job, physically as well as mentally and emotionally.

      • jmgoyder says:

        So would your daughter think my letter is a good idea?

      • Judith Post says:

        Yes, she got a few nice letters from family members, and it always made her feel good. It’s nice to know that someone notices.

  3. You have such a kind heart.

    • jmgoyder says:

      I just want them to know how grateful I am. To tell the truth, I am a little nervous of the staff!

      • Julie you are a good person with a good heart. Sometimes I wonder why you care so much what other people think. It’s your husband who is in there not theirs. On the off chance that you are unreasonable now and then (which I doubt) so be it. This is a rough time for you and Ming. You have enough to worry about, so cut yourself a break. I can’t imagine that you would even hurt a flea intentionally. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

      • jmgoyder says:

        You are right and I have taken this on board – thanks wise Diana! Jxx

  4. victoriaaphotography says:

    I am sure the staff will be absolutely delighted to receive such a long and very thoughtful Note of Thanks.

    It is so easy to criticise staff in these facilities and it is not an easy job. Not many of us would have the patience to care for people with deteriorating mental capacity and physical decline.

    Few visitors take the time to express their appreciation and thanks in a heartfelt way (in writing).

    (Note: I wonder if you meant ‘multiple’ in the second last paragraph, not ‘multiply’ ?).

    It truly reflects what a loving, caring person you are.

  5. Robyn Lee says:

    Such a lovely way to honor Anthony’s caregivers. It sounds like you have some angels there watching over him when you are not able to be. xo

  6. Ingrid says:

    Very heartfelt and beautiful Julie … I must say Anthony looks really well cared for

  7. They must be taking very good care of him! It’s good to acknowledge that.

  8. terry1954 says:

    that is so kind and thoughtful, they will so appreciate this

  9. Michelle says:

    who needs un-shabby? I didn’t recognise him in those long pants. And is that a Grammar jumper I see haha.

    • jmgoyder says:

      Yes, and all 3 of us wear Grammar socks now!
      How’s it going with your husband away – hehe!

      • Michelle says:

        Haha, that photo made me laugh!! Those socks seemed to stay around for yrs at our place.
        I’ve had 4 days off so doing lots of Festival of Pacific Arts stuff so we’ve been busy and not too much pining. He’s actually spending the weekend at Dads with Mandy and the kids so I’m a bit jealous. I’ll email soon. Mwah.

  10. That’s lovely, Julie. It sounds like he’s in a wonderful place.

  11. magicallymad says:

    There you go again, finding more space in your heart for others as it bleeds out onto the floor. You’re a miracle of love Julie. I am so glad you are here, and in my life, cyber-life that it is. “Ants” – have never heard that – love it. Love you, j

  12. Fergiemoto says:

    Such a nice letter! I’m sure the staff will appreciate it greatly.

  13. Hi Julie,

    I felt similar gratitude for my mother’s caretakers. She passed away from cancer in 2004, and the two nurses who took care of her at home during her last days were angels on earth. I also wrote thank you letters to them. I am sure Anthony’s caretakers will appreciate your expressing your gratitude.


  14. Finn Holding says:

    Sounds like Anthony is a great place surrounded by folk who understand and have dedicated themselves to helping him and supporting you. I love reading your posts because it reminds that there are lots of great people all over the world! Please don’t stop rambling 🙂

  15. Excellent Jules! I think too often we tend to only bring about the negative responses in situations like this. You taking the tme to address your deep appreciation in writing is tender and sincere. It will be taken with great delight I’m sure. And how could they not like you and your Anthony? You are people that make liking you really easy!

    Hugs today from Oregon (in the States) to you~

  16. What a great idea, and even better to write this letter as they’re taking care of your husband every day. It looks like he’s in a good place, despite his deteriorating condition.

  17. Beautiful letter! I bet they will be deeply touched. Most people are too wrapped up in their own drama to see, let alone acknowledge all that they do!

  18. I’m sure the hardworking staff will be delighted to see someone understands and appreciates the effort they put in 🙂

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