Anthony has had miniature dachshunds as pets for as long as I can remember. When Ming was born, we’d just lost Doc, a male, to old age, but we still had Inky, a female puppy.
Inky was, at first, alarmed by baby Ming – this strange,new creature in the family. But her alarm soon became intrigue, especially once Ming started crawling, then toddling, then babbling and I’ll never forget the shock on Inky’s face when Ming uttered his first word – “INKY!”
They were inseparable, making their infant-to-child transitions simultaneously. When I took Ming to ‘occasional care’, we would take Inky with us in the car, then Ming would carry her into the centre, much to all the other little toddlers’ delight. It was around this time that Ming – if asked if he had any brother and sisters – would state, proudly, “I jus have Inky – she’s my liddle sista.”
Inky was four and Ming still three, when she began to lose her rather manic liveliness. She started to get really drowsy, and her tail didn’t wag frantically anymore. Ming became upset when she wouldn’t race him, or fetch the tennis ball, or make the shrill, ecstatic noise she’d always made when he cuddled her.
Then, one evening, Inky wouldn’t even get up for her food, and we knew something was badly wrong. We rushed her to the vet and as Ming, Anthony and I watched, he said, “She has a heart condition and is dehydrated. There is nothing I can do; I’ll have to put her to sleep.”
With tears in my eyes, I crouched down and explained to Ming that Inky was in pain and that the best thing to do would be to put her to sleep. He nodded, solemnly as the vet injected Inky.
As we took her little corpse – in a box the vet had given us – out to the car, Ming patted my hand. He’d noticed my emotion and said, “Doan worry, Mummy. Inky’s jus sleeping. Gimmee her to hold.”
That was when I realized that he didn’t understand that Inky was dead. So I got into the back seat with Ming and, as we pulled away, I tried to explain, in my clumsy adult way, that the little dog Ming was holding was not going to wake up.
The car seemed to get very cold. Then Ming’s silence broke and he started to sob and so did I, holding tightly to his little hand. Anthony said gentle words to us while he drove us home.
As we reached the farm gate, Ming had stopped crying and said, in a quiet, solemn little voice, “Hands up all the people what are sad.”
We all raised our hands.
Then, when we all got out of the car, Anthony wrapped us all in one of his gigantic hugs.
jmgoyder 
Very sad and beautiful story Julie
Thanks!
When are you coming out to visit?
That was beautiful.
Thank you very much!
(hugs) a true family love story
It certainly made me realize that death is death and can’t be described in any other way.
a harsh but true realization
that is for sure
can’t be and should not be. it is a sad part of life that can not hide in fairy tales and make believe. Ming learned this lesson earlier than most and it’s sad to see that particular innocence lost. I do hope he still has his memories of Inky, that bond and that love, it’s the light that’s left that matters. xo
Oh yes, Ming will never forget her. Since then we have lost Doc 3 and Inky 2 but we still have Blaze (their son) so all good.
It’s all part of life yeah? How are ya U?
I’ll fb you.
okay…i’m there
wise words
J, you and your boys are so full of love …. and all the love you have shared and share still plus all the gentleness. You’re such beautiful teller too. I can see Ming in front me raising his little hand. I know that Ming has his spells now – but he are between boy and man. Julie, you have loads of love around you and so much inside you.
That was good timing, Viveka, because the brat just told me to piss off!~
Julie, wow …. he needs a good some motherly telling off. No need for that. It seams like he has some issues. So sorry to read that.
It’s okay – he has immediately apologized!
Great to hear … but still he shouldn’t say things like that to you – there is no need for it.
I will send him over to you!
Are you sure … maybe he doesn’t want to come home again *laughing …
Brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully written.
I can’t believe I didn’t explain it to him better before the vet injected Inky. Oh well, live and learn.
Beautiful story, Julie (but soooooo sad).
I woke up this morning, booted up my computer and layed back down with blackberry in hand to read my emails. Your blog came right after a facebook comment. This story in fact, As I read it, tears were streaming down my face picturing you and Ming in the back seat sobbing. What a beautiful story…I can still remember the look on my daughter’s face when she seemed to understand death…
Yes, when kids understand death it seems to catapult them to a new level.
I can remember when I understood and for a bit it took the ground out from under my feet – it scared me!
no wonder he is so wise so young. just beautiful and heartbreaking. not to be too radical here but we have the compassion to let a pet go when they are suffering but we won’t let a human make the same choice (legally that is).
This is the downside t dogs — they don’t live as long as our love.
So true.
this was so emotional, thank u so much for sharing this with me Julie……..hugs
It was an eye-opener to me to be more literal with Ming.
“Hands up all the people what are sad.”
Oh his little words say so much…. this was incredibly touching Julie– makes you really think about loss and acceptance of such – and pain associated with that loss… and front he mouths of babes– and the ending – Ant’s gigantic hug — I can feel that hug — really … tears here – and Love all around you — from me xxoo
Ming’s last comment just about did me in. What a bittersweet story.
I remember that night like it was yesterday – hardest part of this memory is that Ants was okay then and I can hardly remember him being okay now.
I can see how difficult that would be.
Sad story, beautifully told.
Geez you’re good with emotions in writing. Teared me up. Now I need a glass of wine.
Aw, you made me cry. =)
Sorry!
It is so hard for children when they lose a pet I remember when we had to put “Dot Dot” (our dog) down when Jessica was about 12 she came with us to vet and it was so hard for her she understood that Dot was sick and it was for the best but still of course it hurt her a lot as Dot was mostly her dog they had gown up together
I meant to add that I could just picture Ming carring his sleeping dog to the car and the heartache he must have felt when you explained that Inky wasn’t going to wake up
So hard and for your daughter too.
Wonderful story (again), Julie 😀
Thanks Dianne.
I haven’t read all the comments, so perhaps someone has said this already: but children get to the nub of the matter don’t they?
Once when we lost one of our cats I asked the boys what we should do with the body.
It was decided the he should be buried in the shrubbery, ‘so he’s always near us.’
I love this cat story -thank you!
Beautiful! Made me cry.
Barb
What a great story. I think kids can comprehend what death really means until about the age of 4, and then it clicks. A little.
Beautiful, yet very sad…
Awww… ;(
Sweet little Ming – a sad but lovely story, Julie.
He WAS sweet! Well, I guess he still is but he has a big dose of sour too!
Ming is adorable.
Beautiful story Julie. I love how you always manage to bring the toddler Ming right into today when you write.
My Mum once told me, when my children were very young, that learning about death from watching animals would be a help for future times when they would inevitably lose human family and friends. Perhaps.But I have been blessed, like you, to share some wonderful moments through our sadness and losses, especially with my youngest son.
Thanks for a beautiful story.
Thank you so much!