wings and things


on September 30, 2012

It has been several weeks since a nasty skin cancer developed on Anthony’s forehead, right next to his left eye. He has had these before, many times – squamous cell carcinomas. Mostly our doctor burns them off with that nitrogen thingy, but a few years ago Anthony was referred to a specialist and put in hospital to have some of them surgically removed. The surgery went well but his meds. somehow got lost so he was off his face hallucinating. A second operation was scheduled but this time I kept his meds in my handbag just in case.

For several weeks now I have been trying to get some clarity from his doctor, the surgeon etc. because this skin cancer is painful and looks like a little red hole drilling into his head and if I hug Ants he winces with pain. The surgeon’s wife tells me on the phone that he is on the waiting list and I will be given an hour’s notice. Ming became angry enough to ring them back and beg for the surgeon to go see Ants in the nursing home before hospital but the answer was no.

I can’t lift Ants by myself anymore so I can’t drive him to the appointment especially if I only get an hour’s notice since we live a half hour away from the nursing lodge. I think I will get him ambulanced into hospital tomorrow and take it from there.


57 responses to “Rage

  1. Julie–that is terrible, to have him suffer like that.

  2. Surely Anthony has enough to cope with without pain added to the mix. You poor things.

  3. Rhonda says:

    I would do the same. Screw the surgeon. Take him. What a load of CRAP!

    • jmgoyder says:

      I have been waiting for weeks now – argh! Trouble with hospital is they lose all his pills so I will secretly put them in my bag again I guess – oh this is sometimes beyond me and I feel so bloody sick too – fxxx!

      • Rhonda says:

        are you still feeling ill jules? you should be feeling better by now. oh, this is beyond belief! I so wish there was something to do to help you…so frustrating and maddening. what is WRONG with these people?

      • jmgoyder says:

        Feeling much better now – just worried about Ants now

      • Rhonda says:

        I would be too…this is not something to fool with nor is it something one would think a surgeon would dick around with. Bloody Arse!!! Prayers for Ants and you…

      • jmgoyder says:

        He is old so nobody really gives a fk

      • Rhonda says:

        Makes it even worse! Can’t litter your comment box with everything I want to say….but you know me well enough to know exactly what’s going through my head. Let’s just say I wish a had a hot poker!

      • jmgoyder says:

        I know and I have been crying with frustration since getting home from seeing Ants today. I/we wouldn’t bother but the skin cancer is painful and scary-looking. No worries – I will deal with it. Thanks Rhonda!

  4. Grrrr, that makes me angry! It’s so hard to reason with a ‘system’ I hope this all gets resolved quickly. (((hugs)))

  5. How frustrating and how anxious you must be. It’s like the medical profession sees anyone over a certain age as expendable.

  6. terry1954 says:

    I don’t blame you at all> when we feel or see that the doctors are not dealing with issues properly, the only thing left is to do things ourselves. good for you. you are following you gut instincts!!! keep me informed

  7. What a terrible dilemma for you, but sometimes I think that you just need to do what your heart tells you to do and be damned as to what anyone else thinks.

  8. Robyn Lee says:

    Oh no – this is so not right. arghhhh! I hope you can manage this tomorrow — let me know what happens Julie ~ xo

    • jmgoyder says:

      I have calmed down now and realize that hospital won’t see it as an emergency so we will be waiting hours. I ring surgeon tomorrow (today it’s a public hol.) I will just keep ringing until they fit him in.

  9. Northern Narratives says:

    The system here can also be very nasty. Good luck to you.

  10. viveka says:

    That is in my eyes and ears .. totally unacceptable and disgusting. I would do the same as you – get him to the hospital directly – even if your doctor have a look at him – he has to send Ant to somebody else and then it will take much longer time, I guess. Just go for it, Julie and jump every fence on the way.

    When I read things like that – I’m so happy that I live in a country like Sweden – where it doesn’t matter if young or old – rich or poor … you get help. Especially if there has been treatments for cancer before. They would tell you to come straight away. Good luck to you and just follow your guts.

  11. artsifrtsy says:

    That’s unbelievable. He deserves better care than that.

  12. ltpen315,barb says:

    This is so wrong!! You get him to the hospital and make them sit up and take notice!! Good luck and God Bless you all!

  13. I can understand your frustration and anger. It’s really unbelieveable how callous some doctors are. Hasn’t the nursing lodge anything to say on the matter? I would think it was in their best interest to take care of their charges.

    Wish there was something I could do other than offer my long distance support and some cyber hugs. We ran into a slightly similar issue with a grandmother. She was in her 80s and had degenerative problems in her shoulder and neck causing her a lot of pain, and an inability to move her arms, rendering her helpless. She was in a home already and no doctor would approve her for surgery to help ease her condition. We were angry too that no one seemed to care she was in pain. Not what you expect from people sworn to heal others.

    • jmgoyder says:

      There seems to be miscommunication between nursing home, dr and surgeon. It’s also as if now that he is in a nursing home, things aren’t taken seriously, as in your grandmother’s experience – horrible.

  14. I have mixed feelings!!!! I’m a med student and I know how the attending doctors loose track of what it’s priority. You should go to the hospital and demand that they take care of this.

  15. I hear and feel your rage and frustration it must be making you so angry, I think the idea of just having him taken by ambulance to hospitial and see what they say…….

  16. victoriaaphotography says:

    I can understand your anger and frustration, Julie.
    Skin cancer is bad enough, but being so painful as well makes it all the more urgent. Hope you can can get Anthony to the hospital and seen by the appropriate specialist asap.
    Best Wishes on a positive outcome.

  17. Susan says:

    Hey Julie, you seem to be dealing with a lot alone. Is there anyone who can help you with this? (If not, it seems a very sad refection on our society.) I guess I am thinking a liaison person at the nursing home, a social worker, a support group, a carers group…I don’t really know? I would be happy to help you look into it if you like, I know a lovely lady who is a social worker who I could ask a few questions. Just send me an email if you think its worth looking into?

  18. Judith Post says:

    Good luck with the appointment. That has to be SO frustrating! Want you to know, though, that when my mom gets any anesthesia, she’s confused for days. If you expect it, it’s no big deal.

  19. diannegray says:

    This is so annying and frustrating – you poor thing!!!

    Sending loads of *hugs* your way

  20. elizabeth says:

    How awful! This doctor should be ashamed of himself. Keep on knocking Julie. Be that annoying squeaky wheel. Sending hugs and prayers.

  21. mrs fringe says:

    😦 I’ve spent way too much time in hospitals and waiting rooms with Husband and/or Flower Child. Advocating for those we love is necessary, maddening, and draining.

  22. Andrea Kelly says:

    How frustrating! I really hope you’re able to get things squared away.

  23. mpejovic says:

    Feels good to vent sometimes. I’m sorry to see good healthcare can be as tricky to get in Australia as it is in the USA.

  24. Hugs. Sorry to hear the medical system is as messed up there as it is in the US. Sad. I understand your frustration.

    • jmgoyder says:

      I was in a rage so overstated. In fact, the medical system here is very good and I think the dehumanizing aspect of illness is just an inevitability with so many so sick – dunno!

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