jmgoyder

wings and things

Spitting the dummy 2

on November 7, 2012

Peer pressure is a funny thing. No matter how much you resist it, you end up succumbing. Even when you’re only three and a half years old.

It wasn’t long before Ming’s fourth birthday that he began to realize that it wasn’t just Grandma who disapproved of his dummy (his “tuntun”).

The dummy situation changed rather dramatically for Ming when one of his playgroup friends Dillan came for a playover (Ming’s first ever). As soon as Dillan saw Ming pop the dummy into his mouth, he shrieked with laughter and yelled, “Ming is just a baby, Ming is just a baby,” in that singsong, horrible way children-teasing-other-children do with such sadistic delight.

Ming immediately spat the dummy out, unpinned it and dropped it, before throwing himself at Dillan and wrestling him to the ground. Then, when Dillan started crying, Ming mimicked him by yelling, “Dillan’s just a baby” over and over again, furiously.

I was a bit shocked at the sudden violence of the confrontation and it took a lot of chocolate cake and lemonade to pacify the two little macho machines.

But it marked a turning point for Ming. He knew now that it wasn’t only Grandma who thought the dummy was silly. Dillan’s words had sunk in and now Ming was actually embarrassed about his tuntun – embarrassment being another new experience.

Anthony and I had never worried about the dummy phase; we knew it wouldn’t last forever anyway. But after his altercation with Dillan, Ming started trying to kick the habit by himself. “Oany lemmee have it when I go to bed,” he’d say, sternly, putting it under his pillow.

His self-discipline amazed us. Only once over the ensuing weeks did Ming succumb to a day-time suck, and that was after he had a nasty fall and grazed his knee. But he still depended on that dummy at night-time.

Then, one afternoon, it wasn’t there and we couldn’t find it anywhere (I discovered it later inside the pillow case). Panic stations! I rushed up to the local shop and there was just one left – a pink one. My friend, Anna served me and asked who the dummy was for.

“Umm, we have visitors with a new baby,” I lied, guiltily.

“Okay,” she said, hearing the urgency in my voice.

I got home and Ming took the new dummy out of its packaging and stuck it straight into his mouth, only removing it briefly to murmur sleepily, “You are the bestest mummy in the whole wide world.”

And a month later he was over it. Just like that, he forgot about the tuntun. But I’ve kept that last dummy as a reminder of my great big beautiful baby.

Ming without dummy

I bumped into Anna the other day and told her the truth about this and she couldn’t stop laughing!


32 responses to “Spitting the dummy 2

  1. viveka says:

    … normally kids don’t settle with something new – they just want the old one – you where a bit luck there, that he accepted the new dummy. Can’t remember what I had as comfort – have to ask mum … have a weak memory of the that she have told me that I gave it to one grandma’s pigs that was a bit lonely – have to ask ..

  2. Ooh, kids can be unkind but it’s all part of growing up.

  3. you are a wonderful mom – I remember the many phases of my children–some I wanted to end, some I didn’t

  4. hotlyspiced says:

    What a lovely story. I’m so impressed with how he was able to kick his own addiction. I’ve never rushed to make these decisions for my children; always letting them decide when enough was enough. They never took to a dummy though but they did love their bottles! xx

  5. Gardengirl says:

    The best mommy ever!

  6. I never had a dummy. It was a thumb for me until, in front of my parents and brother, an uncle wanted to use my thumb too; since it seemed to be so good and all. I was so embarrassed I don’t think I sucked it ever again.

  7. bulldogsturf says:

    To hell with the dummy I’m more excited he knew how to turn the tables on the other fellow… good on you Ming… sorry Mom I know you don’t condone violence… but (whispering) “good on you Ming…”

  8. lucewriter says:

    I laughed when Ming went after his friend. What a pivotal moment in his life haha! My daughter threw hers out the car window when we were on a 2100 mile trip moving from one place to another. She wouldn’t stop crying for hours. 😦

  9. oldsunbird says:

    What a lovely story! And what a wonderful mommy you are!

  10. terry1954 says:

    this is an adorable story!!!!!!

  11. dcwisdom says:

    My younger daughter was a thumb sucker and didn’t quit until she was into double digits. Those comforts are hard habits to break, but at least Ming quit before it became toooooo embarrassing. 🙂 Funny story.

  12. YOu truly are the bestest mummy in the world.

  13. I kept all the dummies my second daughter had during the last few months she had them and showed her when she was much older and she thought it was so funny and cool that I kept them. I always liked to have a spare one just in case it was needed………..damn I still have a couple of new dummies in the cupboard………..

  14. Trisha says:

    Daniel called his dummy “Pa-Pa.” I still remember the panic I felt when he started screaming and we couldn’t find Pa-Pa anywhere.

  15. yellowlancer says:

    My first son was very prem and had a dummy to learn sucking and the second had feeding problems early on so he did, too but my daughter and my youngest son did much better with breast feeding and didn’t need dummies. When people would comment and say ‘Oh doesn’t he/she have a dummy?’ my ex-husband loved to tell them they didn’t need dummies…they had their mother! Much easier without dummies and the frantic searches (usually in the middle of the night!) and it does explain in part why he became the ‘ex’!!

  16. One of Tory Boy’s friends started dressing himself at four when he heard TB did it. Peer pressure can be a wonderful thing sometimes.

    Love that you finally confessed 🙂

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