jmgoyder

wings and things

Jan 2

When the carer gets sick

by jmgoyder

Even though Anthony is now being cared for in the nursing lodge, and I am no longer physically exhausted, the emotional exhaustion has been a force to reckoned with and I seem to be susceptible to any flubug doing the rounds. I just rang and asked the head nurse if I could visit today but she said no because of my flu – understandable. But I haven’t seen Ants for 3 days now and he is as forlorn as I am about this.

The first time I succumbed badly to a flu was a few years ago when Ants was still at home, Ming was still at school and I was still working. That was the beginning of the end of the way we were. I ended up in intensive care, with very bad asthma and exhausted. I had to take leave from work, we got more home nursing help and Ming began to take over some of the night shifts looking after Ants – toiletting, turning him over etc.

It soon became obvious that I would not be able to go back to work in my usual capacity because I couldn’t leave Ants alone. On several occasions I would come back from dropping Ming off at the busstop, or from the local shop, to find Anthony had fallen.

My job allowed me to continue to teach online and I threw myself into this with gusto but the night shifts continued to take their toll and I got sick again, and again.

It’s just flu and no big deal but I wonder why and how I could still be so fatigued when I am no longer working, no longer up all night and when I feel so positive. The only thing I can put it down to is a slowly breaking heart.

I know exactly how to remedy this because I have decided that this year will be full of laughter no matter what.

Carers get sick too and this is the trouble. So if you are a carer, look after yourself. I always hated it when people said this to me but now I understand.

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

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Jan 1

The best gift

by jmgoyder

Just before Christmas, Ming had an idea for my presents and we went to a bookstore where he asked me to pick out a bunch of books I wanted and then he would pick three while I went outside the shop. He explained that this would mean I would still get a surprise. So I gleefully picked out six books and left the shop.

So on Christmas morning, I opened the first of my three presents, knowing that it would be a book. But it was two books! And each of the presents contained two books, so Ming had bought me all six and that was the surprise. My delight was contagious and he laughed, saying that he’d been worried that I would choose more and he would have to buy all of them when he didn’t have that much money. He wrote a message in each of the books and some of these were funny, some loving, all illegibly beautiful!

Then he said he had another present and told me that he wanted to spend his remaining savings on a holiday for me at a resort north of here – a whole week! I said no way but I would take 3 nights and he made me shake hands. “You can be all by yourself, Mum, without me and Dad and everything, and you can write and chill out. I’ll look after the birds and dogs and you can just relax.”

Tonight – on this first evening of the new year – he turned his consul off and asked me to come into the living room for a talk. I joined him and we had a long, philosophical discussion in which he said, “I just want us to talk to each other more, Mum, get reconnected, so we both don’t get all sad again.” At that moment, I looked out the front window to see the redgum that Ming bought me three years ago flowering for the first time ever. He noticed it too and we exchanged a smile. “Happy New Year, kid,” I said.

The best gift: Ming.

Thank you, Anthony.

Animal Family LOVE STORY Wings

100 Comments »
Jan 1

Parenting

by jmgoyder

Post publication note: For some reason this post is backwards! Sorry. I hope it still makes sense!

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Can we go back inside now, Julie?

Can we go back inside now, Julie?

She said yes too but then she pecked me!

She said yes too but then she pecked me!

Are you my mum?

Are you my mum?

Could this be my real mum, Julie?

Could this be my real mum, Julie?

He said yes!

He said yes!

Are you my dad?

Are you my dad?

Is that my dad, Julie?

Is that my dad, Julie?

Animal Family Friendship Wings

41 Comments »
Jan 1

Tips on raising a baby peacock

by jmgoyder

As most of you know, a little over three weeks ago I found a newly hatched baby peacock outside, apparently abandoned. I knew that the peahens were nesting here and there but I hadn’t discovered any eggs or nests and two of the peahens seem to have disappeared. They are very good mothers usually but very unwise layers and I surmise they have laid in the paddocks and all of the eggs, chicks and maybe even these two mothers have been killed by foxes.

So I have been raising Gutsy9 myself and he and I are totally imprinted on each other now. He is a pied, so half white and half blue so it will be interesting to watch him grow up. At night he sleeps in a box in the veranda and during the day he sits on my shoulder. Every afternoon I take him out when I feed all of the others and he is less frightened of the adult peas than they are of him. They tend to peck at him a bit but they are slowly getting used to him.

But raising a lone chick of any sort does present a few challenges if you are a human so here are a few tips:

1. Do not take a baby peacock to a restaurant inside your shirt and continually stroke him because it will make you look like you have a breast fetish.
2. Do not allow a baby peacock to kiss you on the lips if he has just had a dinner of mealworms.
3. Do not take a baby peacock to an appointment with a counsellor.
4. Do not succumb to a baby peacock’s 5am crying, get him out of his box, go back to bed and let him sleep on your head because you might find something odd in your hair when you wake up.
5. Do not let a baby peacock sleep on your shoulder with his butt in your face; turn him around so his face is next to yours.
6. Do not put a mirror next to you so you can check what a baby peacock is doing on your shoulder because you will realize that you are developing a double chin.

I hope this has been helpful!

Animal Family Friendship Wings

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