wings and things

If you don’t know what to say, just shut up!

on March 24, 2013

I’ve been trying to find a word that means the same thing as ‘stating the obvious’ but, apart from ‘duh’, there doesn’t seem to be one in the English language. ‘Redundant’ doesn’t quite cut it, ínanity’ only just comes close, so ‘duh’ it is.

A close relative of Anthony’s, who only visits him sporadically, and has baulked at my suggestion of getting him wheel-chair taxied to their place, sent me an email the other day. In the email it was stated that they had visited Anthony but didn’t have time at the moment to arrange for a taxi visit. The irony and inanity of the email’s concluding sentence astounded me:

We notice that he is very lonely.


57 responses to “If you don’t know what to say, just shut up!

  1. terry1954 says:

    then go visit him silly goose since you noticed he is lonely!!!!!! Whatever!!!! is that person’s problem???

  2. Yeah “duh” says it all………………some people really could do with a “Gibbs” slap to the back of their head……..if you don’t know who Gibbs is sorry watch NCIS…………lol

  3. fgassette says:

    Duh, works perfectly. Hang in there!


  4. I guess that I agree with your other commenters…’Duh’ fits perfectly…no more explanation needed….Diane

  5. Ugh. I agree with your title!!!!!

  6. When I state the obvious my friend Helga always says, “Thanks Tips.”

  7. victoriaaphotography says:

    “Duh” says it all. (this is a word which I hadn’t really heard before I got a computer). It’s very expressive.

    The relative’s comment leads me to think they are a #$@!& idiot. (sorry, but I have little time for people who come out with ridiculous statements like that). I’d be giving a ‘Gibbs slap to the head’ too.

  8. I guess there comes a time in your life where you have to allow people to be ignorant and without compassion, and just move on with grace. You’ve already got so much to deal with and letting it get to you won’t help.

    Our modern society seems so good at emails, texts and facebook, and so poor at face-to-face, real friendship, support and solidarity. Illness, being elderly or with young children – all of these people and their carers/families – so many that could use a visit or a chat and a cuppa. Keep blogging about it, like I do. Maybe we’ll end up connecting others back into family and community again. We can only hope…

    Much, much love to you xoxo

  9. bulldog says:

    always wonder how to spell that word with meaning… duh .. I’ve always loved the saying .. “No shit, Sherlock??????”…

  10. tersiaburger says:

    Arghhhh! The arrogance of the “well-meaning, caring” family….I agree “No shit Sherlock!”

  11. Gardner's World says:

    I would suggest a shake of the head accompanied by the words “What an idiot”. That should do it!

  12. anyone who has ever been a caregiver has had to put up with ignorance and stupidity–I have been through it several times and it is just people trying to shift the responsibility away from themselves and back onto you tenfold when you are already out of your mind busy trying to take care of that person

  13. The amount of insensitivity that people are capable of continues to amaze me. But you were robbed of an opportunity for a comeback because it was done by email, which sucks.

  14. Best response could be ‘When shall I order the taxi?’

  15. Back to NCIS special agent Gibbs, if he isn’t smacking special agent Danozo in the back of the head he will say “You Think?” The irony from that e-mail was so rich that you could put it on a trowel and slap it against a wall like plaster.

  16. viveka says:

    Julie, if anyone should know … you does .. and it’s not only Ant’s that is lonely … you’re lonely too in all this. Just idiots and not worth your thoughts and emotions. I would just ignore them, answer their email and ignore the comment.

  17. hugr5 says:

    If someone says the obvious, i.e., a stupid, if well-meaining, remark, one can respond by saying, “No kidding, really?” HOWEVER, your voice should drip with sarcasm!

    Right now, I can’t think of a word that would express that though, in writing!

  18. Good grief.

    He’s projecting his guilt onto you.

  19. Judith Post says:

    At least they noticed, even if they didn’t think about it for more than a second.

  20. “You are so right. Anthony is very lonely. That’s why I know how much he would appreciate a visit to your house while he is still able to. Please let me help with the taxi arrangements.”

  21. Kozo says:

    Keep digging for gratitude, Julie. Duh moments come and go, but thank you moments lodge in your heart. {{{hugs}}} Kozo

  22. dcwisdom says:

    Duh is right! Duh, yes, he’s lonely. A good question to the person would have been – So, what are YOU going to do about it?

  23. diannegray says:

    I totally agree with Bulldog – “No shit, Sherlock??????” is one of my favourite sayings 😉 That’s what this person deserves…

  24. Trisha says:

    Duh isn’t an eloquent word but it sure fits this situation.

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