wings and things

Why am I so wordless?

on July 15, 2013

I have tried a several times now, over the last few weeks, to write the words that seem to seep with a strange, crimson elation into my heart, but I can’t adequately describe this. Hence the clumsy metaphor, allusion, my tears.

Anthony and I have finally made a stumbling leap into accepting that he is in the nursing lodge forever and I am home without him forever. This acceptance has brought more joy than I ever thought possible.

No words….

44 responses to “Why am I so wordless?

  1. bulldog says:

    I have no words in reply… but very deep feelings I can’t put into words… How I feel for what you are both going through… Blessing Julie…

  2. Rhonda says:

    accepting what is truly out of our control, no matter how much we want to take control of it, takes a tremendous weight off our minds and hearts. I’m glad you’ve found some joy with this, or relief, or inner calm, or all of the above…xoxo

  3. I think your words are powerful in their simplicity and clarity.

  4. I guess it again is an example of where ‘acceptance’ can be realized… I’m in the process of ‘trying’ to do the same thing for a much different reason of course…. thinking of you and Anthony… Diane

  5. It must have been difficult to write those words.
    I am glad that this brings you peace.

  6. letstalkaboutfamily says:

    Bless you both.

  7. dcwisdom says:

    It’s the cycle of life. We all come to realization and grips in our own ways. I’m glad you have such a creative, and sometime simple, way to express the throes of life. It’s beautiful, Julie. Big Texas love from across the waves….XO

  8. “…the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” I always thought that part of the Serenity Prayer was good – for all of us.

  9. I think that you expressed it perfectly, hugs Jules

  10. ((((hugs)))) that was powerful

  11. How the human spirit can adapt to a new reality, however difficult, always fascinates me. We are truly resilient when it come right down to it, aren’t we? Hugs, Julie.

  12. mrs fringe says:

    Love and Peace, the only two words necessary.

  13. Terry says:

    although this can be a sad moment, I can see both sides. My work is heavy having Al back home. When he was in the nursing home, I had more free time and yet wished he was here. Now hopefully he won’t go back and remain here. I can understand what you are saying and feeling Julie. hugs

  14. acceptance means you can both move on to another level — good luck

  15. Tough stuff, but I’m glad this moment has brought joy. May it remain.

  16. Robyn Lee says:

    Oh Julie – tears just reading this… joyful acceptance ~ it’s a huge huge achievement for you both – Hug and Love dearest friend x
    {{{{{ hugs and love }}}}}} ~ R

  17. FlaHam says:

    Julie, I wasn’t surprised with the realization that you and Ants came to, the love you share, was taking you to this realization for sometime. And I suspect that now that the burden has been lifted, the time you and Ants share will be even more special. Please take care, Bill

  18. Love is the answer …. acceptance is always hard …. but brings the level of peace you have achieved – at least for the moment, and hopefully through the journey you and Anthony are on. Love to you –

  19. Judith says:

    Acceptance is hard, but it does free you. You accept what IS and deal with it, lovingly. I never start with acceptance, but once I’ve tilted my swords at windmills long enough, I finally get there. And then it’s easier to deal with what I can’t change.

  20. tersiaburger says:

    just hugs my friend. Lots of hugs!

  21. tootlepedal says:

    You have done very well all along the way. I am glad that you have arrived somewhere that makes you feel a bit safer for a while.

  22. elizabeth says:

    Sometimes words are just so inadequate. ((hugs))

  23. I really admire your candidness and how healing sharing on your blog must be for you.

  24. acceptance is peace. i am touched and hopeful for this state of peace.

  25. Sometimes it is okay to not have words.
    Love and hugs!

  26. niasunset says:

    Blessing for you both… Love, nia

  27. Fergiemoto says:

    You’ve reached a milestone…a necessary milestone. But it is still heartbreaking to read your words.

  28. Unhappiness is the result of fighting against an un-win-able situation. No wonder acceptance has made you feel lighter. So glad you’ve finally reached acceptance. I know the relief you must feel

    Sending you thoughts of continued peace (and working internet/phone.).

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