wings and things

The good thing about gloomy

on September 1, 2013

Down here in the southwest of Western Australia, the first day of spring coincided with Fathers’ day. The weather was rubbish, Anthony didn’t understand or acknowledge his presents, Ming got annoyed, and the day unfolded in staccato bites of aggro, humour and ferocious love, with my mother keeping Ming and me at bay, while we all drank Bollinger and ate pistachios, blue cheese,
Dolmades, pickled asparagus, olives, and salami. Then strawberries and cream.

Even though I try not to let this happen to my heart, I was upset when I picked Ants up this morning, because the nurse in charge told me that my gentle husband had recently become very nasty with some of the staff.

I think I will make tomorrow the first day of spring because today failed.

40 responses to “The good thing about gloomy

  1. Rhonda says:

    I think that’s a very good idea. Who says we can’t? No one! xoxo dear friend

    • jmgoyder says:

      Ming is unbearable at the moment – breaking my heart.

      • Rhonda says:

        oh honey…hope you tell him how it makes you feel. you know it’ll pass, but in the meantime, state the facts to him as you see/feel them, and ask if that is what he intended. chances are he’ll look at it and see what it does to you (both)…sometimes we just need someone to hold the mirror in front of us. you both have been figuring out how to deal with all of this for so long…a gentle reminder that he is not the only one is not a bad thing. xoxo love you

      • jmgoyder says:

        I’m beginning to wonder if all teenage boys are this self-centred – argh!

      • Rhonda says:

        oh yes….they are. as the sister of 3, mother of 2, and wife of one…yeah…there were ALL that way.

      • jmgoyder says:

        That is NOT comforting – haha!

      • Rhonda says:

        and i didn’t even mention the aunt of 5…haha. chin up, it can always get worse! πŸ™‚

  2. Colline says:

    I am sorry you did not have a good day on a day that should be one of celebration. Hope your spring day tomorrow turns out better.

  3. Vicki (from Victoria A Photography) says:

    Today didn’t fail, Julie.

    It was a great day because you all got to spend it together. Togetherness is a funny thing. You’ve got to love it or hate it. The important thing is that it was there (at all).

    …..and if I was Anthony, I’d be getting ‘nasty’ too. The damn staff keep leaving the toilet lid down!

    PS Happy Father’s Day.

  4. That’s the good thing…. We can choose to do whatever we want! (well at least sometimes!) Diane

  5. mimijk says:

    You’re entitled to a do-over..I hope tomorrow is better

  6. I hope that YOUR first day of spring is a very good one. I’m sorry that Ming is having a rough time of it and that Anthony seems to be mirroring that as well. The only thing that I can think of is to take some time and do deep breaths in a quiet place, believe it or not, it does work, it lets the negative energy flow out of you. Hugs

  7. FlaHam says:

    Julie, I agree make today your 1st day of spring and if it turns out crappy, then we will try the next day, or event the day after. We will find a great 1st day of spring. I am sorry the elements prevented good start to the season, but it isn’t lost yet. Take care sweetness. Bill.

  8. My heart breaks for all of you. I would be a grump-head, too, with the issues that face each of you. Actually, I’m a grump-head anyway for no reason at all. I know Ming is despairing because of his back, but I hope he can try to overcome it. As a person who is also self-centered, I will divulge my secret for not becoming a bear. I picture the biography that I am certain people will write about me some day (as well as the full-length feature movie in which Jennifer Garner will play the part of me), and think that I would much rather have them write how graceful I was in adversity than what a witch I was. I’m sure that will help Ming, too. Well, maybe not picturing Jennifer Garner playing his part…

  9. Happy 1st of spring today or tomorrow! Sorry you had such a gloomy day my friend.

  10. sorry about the first reply. It was unintentional. I mispressed a key on my phone. Please just delete it and this one. Love ya!

  11. cecilia says:

    Poor old Ming. he is almost old enough to leave home and have his own space you know. This is why they get unbearable, it is hard for them too. Poor old you. Do you remember when you gave yourself a day just for you and Ming. How about you give yourself a day just for you. Let them grumble about without you for a few hours… c

  12. viveka says:

    Wow … I think the first day of spring should be the day … we have springtime in our heart – even if it’s in the middle of the winter. What a day, Julie … sometime I’m so glad that it’s only me. As the female priest said that hold mom’s funeral service. Viveka, every family has problems and if they don’t they lie. *smile I hope you have a greater day tomorrow and when you up your feet out of your bed tell yourself that you will have a great day today and you will get it. Good luck with tomorrow.

  13. Judy says:

    Not sure if this will help you. With Anthony – He is a sweet and gentle soul, it’s the disease that is so ugly and unsparing. With my mom’s dementia, I needed to remind myself of that. “It’s not her – it’s the disease.” As far as Ming goes, I have teenagers. I completely understand that feeling of, “Where is my sweet child and who are you?” It is definitely that place of wanting to get them flying from the nest because it is so unbearable at times! There must be a manual somewhere that tells teenagers how to behave like monsters and make their parents crazy. Although seriously, Ming, has a lot to deal with now so I know you might feel guilty for your feelings. You are also dealing with a lot!

  14. jensine says:

    oh so sorry to hear this … but at least the true ants lives eternally in your heart, gentleness and all

  15. Terry says:

    I hate those kind of days and hope for a new day to start over, just like you

  16. I’m sorry your first day of Spring didn’t turn out as planned. So glad you are able to say, tomorrow will be better!

  17. Good idea, Julie. The same thing has happened to a favourite aunt of mine: gentle and intrinsically good all her life, she, too has lashed out. I can only think to keep her wrapped in love and goodwill. Sometimes she knows who we are.

  18. Yeah doesn’t sound like a great start to spring, the nastiness comes with the dementia as I am sure you know but it is still not very nice to see someone who has always been a gentle soul sound nasty………Ming well he is a young man and like all young men he would be difficult at times

  19. tootlepedal says:

    Some grown up men are pretty self centred too. I hope the second first day of spring is better than the first first day.

  20. Big hug to you, Julie. Fingers crossed it’s a good spring tomorrow.

  21. ksbeth says:

    i’m sorry things are so tough at the moment. each day brings a new chance and i hope that tomorrow brings you the first day of your spring, a time of renewal and hope. best, beth

  22. As you are going into spring, those of us in the US are headed for fall. I hope your season is fantastic and that you find many peaceful spring moments.

  23. tersiaburger says:

    It is “tomorrow” in South Africa – Happy Spring Day my friend!! We are experiencing a vicious cold spell so no sign of spring here yet. Hope today’s Spring Day is better! Much love

  24. Debbie says:

    Unfortunately, we all experience it. I’m having a less than pleasant day today, too. That’s life and tomorrow will hopefully be better. It’s ok. We’ll be fine. πŸ™‚ Love across the waves…

  25. Life is a rough row to hoe sometimes, but I guess we get through it–however difficult there is always tomorrow–sorry you had such a bad day!

  26. janechese says:

    The food sounded good, made me salivate. And at the risk of being too insensitive, trust there are better days ahead.

  27. Lynda says:

    Julie, I am encouraged to read that your day was tempered by humor and ferocious love.
    And hey, let’s hear it for “The First Day of Spring: part deux” !

  28. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    The Bollinger etc sounds great, Julie πŸ™‚ Sounds lovely.

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