wings and things

A perfect arrangement

on October 9, 2013

Ming offered to pick Anthony up on Monday and bring him home for the day, then take him back to the nursing lodge in the late afternoon. I can’t believe how much this improved the day for me! It was so wonderful not having to make the two trips, each of which takes around an hour if you count the time it takes to get Anthony in and out of the car and then back into his room at the lodge. It was also great fun for Anthony to have his big son driving him around and Ming got to spend time with Ants on his own during the trips to and fro.

When I take Anthony back to the nursing lodge he often gets really unhappy and sentimental, and saying goodbye for the evening is sometimes a bit tearful for both of us. But with Ming, this doesn’t happen so that is a real bonus. This arrangement was also great because, having done the two trips with Anthony, Ming didn’t feel he had to spend every minute of the day with him. This can be a bit of a strain for Ming, especially when Anthony isn’t making any sense or doesn’t speak at all.

Anthony and I spent most of the morning in the kitchen while I made chicken and vegetable soup for our lunch. Then he wandered around the farm (wonderful!) until he became too wobbly. Back in the kitchen he watched me make a blue cake while we caught an old episode of Midsomer Murders on the television. The cake wasn’t quite cooked when it came time for Ming to take Anthony back so I surprised him with it on his return. As you can see, he was nonplussed.


Ming said he will drive Anthony back and forth whenever he can. This is a perfect arrangement.

37 responses to “A perfect arrangement

  1. mimijk says:

    This is the first time I have ever been introduced to a blue cake…(and have a said that Ming is absolutely gorgeous???)

  2. Win win for you all!

  3. bulldog says:

    Sounds such a good idea to me… and it’s so nice to see a photo of Ant walking around the farm… but that cake looks too damn good to me, and now I want some…

  4. FlaHam says:

    Julie, I am forever fascinated with your family dynamics. With all of the issues that would tear a family apart the 3 of you use them to continue to build upon and make the relationship better. The three of you have a monumental amount of courage and love. Thank you for sharing, and keeping us abreast. Take care, Bill

  5. viveka says:

    Fantastic news …. and Ming maybe grown up a little bit more – Good on him. So happy that you get a bit easier life too. Blue cake!!!!!! – looks green to me *smile .. but baked or not – it seems like it was not very difficult to eat and enjoy.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I love your posts, Julie. Have a wonderful day. x

  7. tootlepedal says:

    I might have been a bit nonplussed by the cake too.

  8. Judy says:

    I will add this to your many positive attributes: logistical wizard. With this story, you get to have your cake and eat it, too. What a beautiful way to handle something that is fairly unbearable.

  9. Glad Ants was able to have a walk around the farm. Ming is so sweet at times.

  10. Lynda says:

    Julie, what a perfect solution for everyone! I’m so happy that Anthony was able to get around a bit and see his lovely flowers on the farm. What was served over it? The look of it, or consistency, reminds me of Red Velvet Cake. Oh yes, and I meant what I said: You can post the recipe! 😀

  11. It seems that you have found the perfect solution all around for the three of you. how wonderful! The sauce that you served with the cake looks like a creme Anglaise one of my favorite dessert sauces. It seems that your Spring has finally sprung glorious skies!

  12. I haven’t seen blue cake before. Is it flavoured with anything?
    The photo of Anthony in the garden is lovely. 🙂

  13. dcwisdom says:

    I’ve never seen or heard of a blue cake, but I really like the handsome guy pictures! 🙂

  14. niasunset says:

    Blue cake….. ? This should be amazing dear Julie… I am so glad to hear you had a nice day all together, wonderful photographs. Thank you, love, nia

  15. you can continue to amaze and inspire me!

  16. Well, that’s a great idea! Wow, that blue cake is something, isn’t it?

  17. I was going to ask what a blue cake was….. 🙂

    It’s good to see your Anthony on the farm.

  18. Vicki (from Victoria A Photography) says:

    I think Ming doing the driving is a wonderful idea. Reduces your stress & fatigue enormously. I daresay, despite Anthony’s lack of conversation, it’s a great hour where Ming feels he is connecting with Anthony too.
    It’s not easy ‘hanging around’ during the day when Anthony can’t converse.

    And blue cake?? Where’d that come from? Is it a family favourite or something? I’ve never heard of it.
    V x

  19. Terry says:

    that does take a lot of pressure off of you. How nice of Ming to offer to do this for you

  20. Yes I think Ming driving Ants to and fro might be a good thing he gets to spend some time with his dad but when there is silence he doesn’t need to worry as he concentrating on the road and it will not feel awkward

  21. ksbeth says:

    what a great outcome for all )

  22. Sounds like it’s working wonderfully. I’ll bet you can entice Ming to continue with promises of blue cake. (BTW, what’s a blue cake?)

  23. yellowlancer says:

    So glad you’ve worked out a new arrangement to make life easier.
    The blue cake reminds me of one I made for fun when my kids were young – lots of blue food colouring 🙂 Unfortunately, one was still in nappies and I’ll leave the result to your imagination 😦

  24. janechese says:

    Wow! What a change of attitude from Ming, maybe he just needed time to figure it out on his own and it works for all, giving everyone some quality time together, as well as space.Like the photos of Anthony with the camellias-wasn’t that his favourite tree? And there has to be a story about the blue cake, right? See how you have us all hooked?

  25. I can remember doing some of that type of driving around for my mother who had a sister (my aunt) with cancer. It is only now that I understand the emotional pain my mother must have been going through at the time and also what my driving my aunt to and from places would have meant to her. We both appreciate each other so much more now – now that we are well over the pain-side.

  26. Helen says:

    Wonderful Julie. Great of Ming to have thought of this! Lovely pictures aswell. xx

  27. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    That blue cake is something else! 🙂

    Ming is very handsome Julie. He’s not shy to be on your blog? That’s lovely!

  28. Blue cake?? That’s a first for me. Now you’ve got to at least share the ingredients.

    Wonderful how you all continue to adapt and keep trying to maximize the interactions – one way or another.

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