wings and things

Learning how the law works

on December 6, 2013

Today Ming and I met with his lawyer for the second time and his barrister for the first time. The barrister was just as honest and down-to-earth as the lawyer, but she did warn us that jail is a possibility because five children were injured. I suppose there is no point in panicking about this yet as the court date still hasn’t been set (but of course I am panicking). Apparently the police report will be sent to the lawyer and he will send it on to us but I am not sure how it all works. The seriousness of the children’s injuries has been our main concern over the last two months so I guess I hadn’t (until now) realized how serious the repercussions might be for Ming in terms of his charges and sentencing. Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers and comments for our extended family and I’m sorry I haven’t answered all of them. I am also extremely grateful for the testimonials send to us on Ming’s behalf because apparently these will possibly have an impact on the judge’s decision. I am not going to write about any of this for awhile because it’s too difficult but, again, thanks so much for the support!

This photo was taken two years ago, before everything began to skew.

56 responses to “Learning how the law works

  1. cobbies69 says:

    fingers crossed. šŸ˜‰

  2. This one makes me cry. It is so sad that the lessons are learned in such harsh ways — and so sad that one moment can turn so brutal.

    I don’t have a lot of words Julie, only enough to say, my heart beats with yours, my prayers are with you and Ming and my well-wishes with all of you.

    Your family is amazing.


    • jmgoyder says:

      Thank you so much Louise – I still can’t quite come to terms with the fact that this happened and that my beautiful Ming caused it all – almost unbearable. The more positive fact that the children are all in various stages of recovery is a massive relief, so it was such a shock to me today that Ming might go to jail – oh please no. Jxxxx

  3. elizabeth says:

    Praying for you both Julie, and sending love and strength in those prayers. (((hugs)))

  4. FlaHam says:

    Julie, Ming is a wonderful young man, one who is willing to pay the price for his mistake. He isn’t making excuses, he has been totally honest and the family holds him no ill will. All of these factors should play importantly in the judges decisio,, as well as, the letters of support that are being sent on Ming’s behalf, should all have a positive impact on the final decision. Hang in ther Julie, and please be safe. Take care, Bill

  5. niasunset says:

    I don’t know the law in your country but I do believe everything will be fine. Prayers, wishes, and love, nia

  6. bulldog says:

    Not good news… bit is it not a first offence, suspended sentence??

  7. It’s a long process so try to remember, one day at a time. I know that it is easier said than done but by focusing on the smaller day you take away the stress from the big picture which seems to loom off in the distance. I’m thinking of you and Ming. šŸ™‚ xoxo

  8. lensgirl53 says:

    I do hope for the best outcome in this matter. Ming is not a “life long criminal” with a long record of misdeeds, so I would think that it is a consideration and that the “testimonials” will have an impact. IMHO, there should be leniency since this was an accident and not intentional. Surely Ming’s youthfulness is on his side when it comes down to the final decision. Blessings to you, Ming and Anthony…..xo, dale

  9. lensgirl53 says:

    Oh…and did I say how handsome your young man is?……Sweet.

  10. cecilia says:

    ah well, i can certainly understand you not wanting to talk about it anymore, you will just go round and round in circles and the date may not be for months.. and it is all out of your hands for the are doing the very best you can.. ’nuff said.. so as you wish, lets talk about something else. Um..hmm, have you sown your sunflowers yet? do you make nests for your peahens? Do they sit in them? I made all kinds of nests last year and no-one sat where they were meant to..Do you think I should make them a little sign? c

  11. Judy says:

    Julie, this will all pass. I know it seems impossible – but let go of worry and breathe slowly to stay calm. Look ahead with your eyes closed. It will all be behind you and there was a purpose to all of this. The effect will be far-reaching, but in a positive way. I know that’s hard to imagine – but I really believe it. You have a lot of sadness and stress around you. I am sorry. Keep remembering how it will pass.

  • I care so much, and am so sorry. Gloria

  • I agree with Judy, this too shall pass. To worry is human, but it only gathers clouds around the issue and is not helpful. Sending thoughts of love, strength and calm to you.

  • pizzuti says:

    Thank God the kids will be OK. Surely the judge will see that this was an accident and having Ming spend time in jail will serve no purpose. Accidents happen – sometimes terrible accidents – but they are accidents. Stay strong, you will get through this too.

    • jmgoyder says:

      The children have all been amazing and stoic and so so brave and accepting – my admiration for them comes in spades. And they are so loyal to Ming – it’s beautiful.

  • Julie I feel your fear – and your tears – 24/7. More radiating hugs and strength to you … ittybitty

  • my heart is in my throat and my prayers are with you and Ming (((hugs)))

  • I wish I was more like my husband. He has always held that while it’s normal to be concerned, no one should worry until they KNOW there’s something to worry about.

    I think too much and when the wheels turn, sometimes the faith in my heart takes a hike. However, I also know that no matter what the trial is that we face, He somehow always gives us what we need to get through it!


  • Trisha says:

    I, too, am shocked that jail is a possibility. I would tell you not to worry, that it is probably the worst case scenario and it probably won’t come to that but you’re Ming’s mom. Of course you’re going to worry. I do hope the testimonies help and the fact that the injured people were his relatives. Poor kid, he’s already seen the consequences of his actions that night. My heart goes out to you both.

    • jmgoyder says:

      Thanks Trisha – it is obviously going to take a long time for the case to be heard in court and for Ming to be sentenced. I didn’t realize before – having had no previous experience of legal process – that it’s so slow (and with good reason of course), so I will have to slow my expectations down and just do the day by day thing. Love to you Jxxx

  • The main thing is that the children are all recovering.

  • Getting testimonials is good. Anything to show/document he’s an upstanding citizen, conscientious human being, has an otherwise clean record, etc. is beneficial. And, you might want to run it by your attorney about Ming writing something up about how this has impacted him and changed him as a result of what was done. It would be appropriate legal defense for the attorney to show that nothing would be gained by him going to jail that Ming has not already experienced himself and demonstrated responsibility wise. Forgive my butting in here but I feel anxious about wanting to help. (my hubby’s an attorney)

    Now we pray that wisdom prevails in your favor. I am going to put a light around Ming, around you, around the judge, and keep sending thoughts to let it be without jail time.

    Love, Paulette

    • jmgoyder says:

      Thanks Paulette – I didn’t realize that it might be possible for Ming to write some sort of impact statement. He won’t want to because he has this thing in his head that he wants to be punished. I will ask our lawyer. I really appreciate this suggestion and any chance you can send hubby over? hahaha! Jx

  • I tried my iphone to leave msg but guess I didn’t do it right… Anyway… while I know you will worry… try to keep ‘hope’ in your mind…. I will be praying… Diane

  • I’m so sorry about all your worries and anguish, Julie. Hugs to you and Ming. I’m sure that things will all work out. I’m so glad that the children are now okay.

  • Denise says:

    Thoughts, prayers and blessings to you and your family, especially to you and Ming, who must be suffering on so many levels….


  • tersiaburger says:

    Hugs, love and prayers for you and your family. Lots of love.

  • viveka says:

    So sad that this happened to Ming … and that he has end up with all this – but sometimes we have to learn the hard way – and I have a feeling that Ming has matured so much already. I’m sure that with no record he will be okay. I can understand that Ming blames himself and want to be punished, but this was just a stupid accident and in all honesty, Julie, you have work to get that out of his mind – he needs professional help with that – otherwise he will feel guilty for rest of his life and will not be able to go on.
    Love the photo, he is such a handsome young man.

  • Vicki (from Victoria A Photography) says:

    Fingers crossed, Julie, but best not to worry (until you’ve got a decision worth worrying about).
    So hard not to think about the possibilities though.

  • i will not say don’t worry as i know you are going to and frankly i would too. there is of course nothing to be gained from it as you already know. i am a bit taken aback by the chance of confinement. here i believe more weight would be given to the fact the parents knew and gave permission for the ride. we will be thinking of you and your boyo. sending warm hugs and love to you my friend.

  • This is one of those posts that is difficult to click on the LIKE button. Sending positive thoughts from across the ocean.

  • Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

    You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

    Connecting to %s

    %d bloggers like this: