jmgoyder

wings and things

The smile

on February 20, 2014

Not quite sure how a light-hearted bird blog transmogrified into Julie’s gutspill but I am hoping to turn that around again soon. Tomorrow is Ming’s second court hearing so I guess I am a little bit anxious because I have just found out that this is when he will plead guilty. Apparently there is no risk that he will be whisked off to jail tomorrow so that is good and I am no longer sure what the hell I am crying about any more. Sad and happy tears look exactly the same, so it’s confusing.

Queenie camouflages the chicks so well that they are almost invisible to predators. I wish I could do this for Ming but he is a little too big and obvious!

IMG_3357

Yesterday afternoon I took two beers into the nursing home and Anthony and I had a drink together (the way we always used to at home). I apologised for my melodrama yesterday and he just said ‘Any time, Jules – I know you.’ Mmmm!

Then we had a rather weird but lovely interchange:

Ants: I just want you to come home.
Me: You mean here?
Ants: Yes, here – Bythorne.
Me: We’re not at Bythorne now, Ants, we’re at Wattle Hill Lodge.
Ants (trying not to look confused): That’s right.
Me (trying not to notice his confusion): Exactly – this is our second home.
Ants: So why are you leaving?
Me: Because I have to take dinner home to Ming.
Ants (hallucinating): Is that Ming there in the corner?
Me: No – he’s at Bythorne.
Ants: So where are we now?
Me: Wattle Hill.
Ants: So where is home?

At this point, I felt a bit lost, so I knelt down in front of him and threw my arms around him and said (rather profoundly I think now haha!) “Wherever you are, Ants, that is my home.”

And I finally got a bloody smile!


46 responses to “The smile

  1. gus57 says:

    Bless you all as a family, wherever you are or think you are.

  2. Julie says:

    That’s what makes it all worthwhile Jules. Those little windows that still fill your heart with joy.
    I am sure it will all turn out well for Ming, my grandson told me the other day to ‘have a little faith Nan’ special don’t you think! Xx

  3. Vicki (from Victoria A Photography) says:

    NOW YOU MADE ME CRY……

  4. Tiny says:

    That was profound! All the best tomorrow.

  5. janechese says:

    What you said to Ants is so true, Jules, and so beautiful.

    • jmgoyder says:

      I just rang him to say goodnight and he was okay! Such a relief. Sometimes (well, mostly) he doesn’t answer the phone and I have to ring nurses to talk to him.

  6. Ingrid says:

    That’s so lovely and mind you I sometimes have conversations like that even without dementia!!
    Queenie is so clever … and all the very best for tomorrow – God bless you all.

  7. bulldog says:

    with the time difference I don’t know if today is your tomorrow but what ever sterkte for Ming’s court appearance… hope all goes welllllllllll.

  8. bulldog says:

    Bloody hell I see the l got stuck… getting time for a new laptop..

  9. susanpoozan says:

    Well done for getting the smile.

  10. Good luck for tomorrow!

  11. Me: Hoping it goes/went well (time difference)
    You: It did… (so hoping) Diane

  12. mimijk says:

    Praying that all goes well for Ming today..and thankful to Ants for pressing the issue of home until it all got distilled down to the basic truth. Wherever there’s love, there’s home.

  13. Good luck to Ming and Mum.

    I love how you and Ants are in such a give and take relationship. It’s so obvious you need one another. And you comfort one another. Beautiful.

  14. Perhaps this will make YOU smile: http://youtu.be/EsmxsX7fo9I – seems like all sorts of animals are Michael Jackson wanabees!

  15. What a lovely moment between you and Ants. I’m sorry that there is so much stress for you right now. Best wishes for Ming’s court appearance.

  16. So hard for you, Julie to divide yourself between two ‘homes’. I’m avidly reading these accounts of your visits to Al, to help prepare me for when I get to see my mom again in a couple of weeks’ time. Hugs to you all. xx

  17. Judith says:

    Such a lovely post. You and your Anthony are so special, and your answer was just beautiful. Good luck with Ming’s court date. Fingers crossed for both of you.

  18. That is profound! and Beautiful!

  19. Oh Jules, I’d be crying too. Wish you could camoflauge Ming as well. Home is with Ants. Sending you good thoughts.

  20. That was definitely the very best thing to say! And it obviously welled up from a place of profound truth.

    Wishing you and Ming courage, strength and grace tomorrow. Praying Ming will find favour in the eyes of the court (that’s a prayer, that in my experience, works in dicey situations).

  21. What you said to Anthony was so beautiful in its sincerity and simplicity. I’m always keeping good thoughts for you and Ming during this difficult and uncertain time. I’m glad that you have your magnificent birds. 🙂

  22. tersiaburger says:

    Julie you and Mind are in my prayers. The poor child must be so scared!! My friend, I wish I could enfold you and Ming and protect you from this nightmare. Lots of love and prayers.

  23. Trisha says:

    That was very profound and I’m glad it got you a smile. Wishing you strength for the court hearing. I hope it all goes well.

  24. Thinking of you all today and praying it goes as well as it can. xx

  25. ksbeth says:

    good wishes to you and ming tomorrow. and what a wonderful ending to your visit )

  26. Lynda says:

    Julie, this was so lovely! I am praying for you for tomorrow. (((O)))

  27. I just love your shares and love you Jules. ♡

  28. FlaHam says:

    Julie, I can’t imagine the love you have for Ants, or his of you. It is a beautiful thing you share with us, and I am so appreciative of it. Take care, Bill

  29. Lisa Rest says:

    Beautiful the way you manage to keep it all together and express yourself so well. Hang in there: I know you will. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: