wings and things

Court case

on April 13, 2014

Tomorrow, Ming and I go back to court for the third time since the car accident last October. (For those who don’t know, Ming lost control on gravel whilst taking four cousins and a friend on a bit of a joyride on the back of his new ute/truck, and all five children were seriously injured.)

Since then, all involved have been through different versions of hell, but, with the five children healed now, life is beginning to resemble the joy of before-the-accident instead of the trauma of after-the-accident.

Ming (now 20 – he was 19 at the time of the accident) has, over the ensuing months, taken full responsibility for this accident and now awaits tomorrow’s decision from the police as to whether the charge of five counts of dangerous driving might be reduced to one count. Obviously my whole family, including the injured children, are hoping for that latter but Ming and I are now prepared for whatever happens.

Actually no! Ming is prepared, but I am terrified. If the charges against him are reduced he will plead guilty – easy – but, if the charges are not reduced, his lawyer wants him to plead not-guilty in order to negotiate further.

Several times, over the months when the children were in neck and spinal braces, and leg, arm and wrist casts I despaired and sometimes became uncharacteristically angry and, in retrospect, my family coped very well with my unfocused aggro.

I only expressed anger towards Ming once because I knew how traumatized he already was. It was a few weeks after the accident and he and I were in the car and I said, “But why, Ming – why did you take the kids for that joyride – WHY?”

At that hint of blame in my voice, Ming began to scream, then sob. Since that day, he has been calm and taken the whole legal process in his stride, whereas I have been on tenterhooks. Obviously his remorse goes without saying.

I don’t think I can go on with this tonight but glad I have written some of it down.

Wish us luck tomorrow in court!

41 responses to “Court case

  1. I am sending you all of my love and positive energy to you and Ming. My fingers and toes will be crossed hoping for the best possible outcome. Huge hugs!

  2. Rachel's Ramblings says:

    We’ll be thinking of you xx

  3. Good luck tomorrow Julie and Ming. I pray for God’s mercy and love.
    Diana xo

  4. Colline says:

    Good luck. And let us know how it goes.

  5. susanpoozan says:

    All the very best of good fortune attend you both, you will be in my thoughts.

  6. I wish you and Ming all the best. Hope it goes as well as can be expected.

  7. We’re praying that Ming will find favor in the eyes of the court, that the judge will look on him benevolently and be filled with mercy and understanding.

  8. mrs fringe says:

    Thinking of you both, hoping for the best possible outcome. Sending peace and extending a hand. ❤

  9. All the very best Jules and Ming – I wish you well and may you feel the relief of a reduced sentence.Will be thinking of you …

  10. letstalkaboutfamily says:

    Love and prayers for both of you.

  11. Keeping you and Ming close to my heart and hoping for the best possible outcome…

  12. Judy says:

    I am holding you both in my prayers. I am hoping you will both be freed from the prison you have been in since the accident. It has been a horrible form of punishment, worse than whatever the court will impose! Crossing my fingers and sending you hugs.

  13. fgassette says:

    Praying for both of you.


  14. my prayers are with both of you ((Ihugs))

  15. Hoping all goes well Julie. Stick in there

  16. I’ll definitely keep you and Ming in my thoughts tomorrow. Good luck. *hugs* xx

  17. tootlepedal says:

    I wish you all the luck in the world.

  18. Thinking of you both, Julie. Good luck tomorrow. I think the two of you have been through enough already. xoxoxoxo

  19. Oh good luck Julie and Ming!! Good thoughts and well wishes for you both!!!

  20. mimijk says:

    I’ll be holding onto good thoughts all day…

  21. Anonymous says:

    Good luck tomorrow, Julie and Ming. You will be in my thoughts. It’s half a world away, but I know you’ll feel our support.

  22. niasunset says:

    Good Luck dear Julie, for you both, my thoughts and my positive wishes will be with you tomorrow. Sending my love and hugs, love, nia

  23. I do hope you get some relief from the tension tomorrow, and the count is reduced to one. Big hugs from your ‘sister’ across the sea! I’ll be thinking about you and your family.

  24. janeslog says:

    Hopefully it is not too bad tomorrow. it was an accident, after all.

    Read a case last week of a woman in England who starved her boxer dog to death. She got 18 months in jail. What a nasty piece of work – the dog was lovely.

  25. I will be in prayer today.. about tomorrow …which being 12 hours difference in time will be ‘tonight here’…. the emotional pain is horrendous of a mother … watching a child regardless of their age in distress . I really (as you know) can empathize greatly…. Love Diane xo ❤

  26. Don says:

    You are both in my thoughts.

  27. ytaba36 says:

    Your heart must be in your mouth. Take care.

  28. ksbeth says:

    all positive thoughts coming your way and hoping for a good outcome tomorrow ) beth

  29. FlaHam says:

    Julie, Yes I will be praying you both you and Ming. As so many others before me, I have my fingers crossed, and I also am praying the the court system uses common sense as well as law when making decisions regarding 1st time offenders. Take care Sweet Julie, Bill

  30. Oh I am so on edge waiting to hear the news, I am hoping that things go in Mings favour he is a good boy/man who deserves not to be treated to hashly.

  31. imagine a huge hug – sending you strength x

  32. Terry says:

    I will be thinking and praying for you two. Hugs

  33. Vicki says:

    I missed this post last night, but am certainly thinking of you & Ming today (now I’m reminded that it’s THE day).

    I DO SO hope things went well and like many of your blogging friends, both fear the result (if it is a negative outcome) and look forward to the result (in the hope that the Judge was lenient due to Ming’s remorse).

    My cousin who was in a worse situation some 30 years ago in which his best friend lost his life, was extremely lucky in the Judge’s final decision, but sad to say, my cousin never really recovered from the loss of his dear friend and the guilt.

    I can only hope today’s Judge is fair and not oblivious to Ming’s emotional distress.

  34. chris and i were talking about this today, he asks me how you are and if there is any news as though we know you:) we both agree that the parents should be held at least partially responsible.

    just know that i am sending big warm hugs and love. this is such an awful thing to have happened, however, ming and his cousins have learned a valuable lesson. yes it has been hell but it could have been so much worse.

    in mings defense i would like to add that there are plenty of studies that show, from a neuroscience perspective, he is not fully cooked. his brain won’t be for a few more years. i am just grateful that this will be settled soon and some of this can be lifted from your shoulders. your lawyer is very right when he says to plead not guilty. the system is so over-loaded that most d.a.’s will negotiate rather than go to court.

    wishing i could be there in person but will be there in spirit.

  35. my heart, love and thoughts are right there with you. Prayers for both of you.

  36. Hello. I am working through these blogposts backwards so already know the outcome.
    SO happy that the outcome was good for all concerned. 🙂

  37. Ann Koplow says:

    I apologize for not being present for this when it was happening. I am so happy things turned out well!!

  38. viveka says:

    I’m trying to find a post about the outcome of the court case – I have been thinking a lot about you both and wondering. What I understand is Ming a free young man .. because he are home with you. Can I say congratulations ????!!!

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