jmgoyder

wings and things

A new phase

on June 17, 2014

I think Anthony has entered a new phase of Parkinson’s Disease just in the last week or so. Taking him for drives, or home for the morning or afternoon, or out to lunch, or to visit friends/family has all-of-a-sudden, it seems, become something we don’t do any more.

This new phase is partly due to a deterioration in Anthony’s physical mobility, and his current sleepiness. The transition from Anthony and Julie gallivanting off for the day to Anthony and Julie sitting in his room at the nursing home, watching re-runs of Master Chef, has been strangely enjoyable for me.

Today I had to take Ming to town to get the bus to Perth at 8.45am so I thought I may as well go straight to the nursing home and spend the day there. After seeing Ming off, I found myself in an I-can’t-wait-to-see-Anthony-mood (a mood that is capturing me more and more).

So, for the first time ever, I spent the entire day at the nursing home (from 9am – 4pm). Partly, I did this as an experiment to see if I could cope. But my other reason was to see if Anthony would like me being with him in the nursing home rather than going out; he did! I will now plan all of my writing etc. to be done in the nursing home.

I’m not blogging as consistently as before – hope to catch up soon with blog friends.


67 responses to “A new phase

  1. Nice to hear a little update from you – and glad you are enjoying the time you spend with Anthony – for that is what’s important … more than WHAT you do …. hugs to you –
    Itty Bitty

  2. Nice to hear from you. I’m glad your time with Anthony is a less stressful for you and him both…just ‘being’ together for the day… it’s like you’re really not ‘visiting’ and it’s more relaxing… Take care… Diane

  3. That’s beautiful, Julie. Of course it’s also profoundly sad, but the enduring love that draws you to finding happiness just by being together, no matter what–that’s truly beautiful.

    I needed to hear this today. I won’t say any more than that, but you can guess why, because of our similar situations. You’ve lightened my burden. Thank you.

  4. Julie, you are an inspiration.

  5. ksbeth says:

    adjust and adapt as you see fit, and we’ll see you when you can pop by for a visit. hugs )

  6. You my friend are a constant inspiration and source of Love. You flow!

  7. I’m sure that just being with you, is what Anthony wants most in the world, right now. *hugs*

  8. Slowing down is less stressful. And hopefully helps all involved in a peaceful existence and transition. Always holding you in my heart.

  9. I’m so glad you are enjoying your time together in this way Julie and Ants! Have missed you Julie, but totally understand. Wishing you and praying for the best for you all. HUGS!
    Diana xo

  10. Terry says:

    I think for me I was forever changing my habits to keep up with Al. Hugs

  11. How wonderful to have found a new stage that is relaxing and enjoyable for the both of you; what was always the most important for you was just being together. I am very happy for you Jules and I can hear it in you post, your happiness that is. I hope that Ming is having a grand time in his own adventures. 😀 Hugs!

  12. Lisa Rest says:

    This is beautiful, Julie. It feels like a great step, if perhaps an unexpected one, forward. You intuitively knew just what to do. Great to hear, and thanks for posting.

  13. susanpoozan says:

    Sounds like you have got things sorted for the time being at least. It must be much less stressful.

  14. niasunset says:

    I am glad to hear you too dear Julie, and this is beautiful. Love and hugs to you, nia

  15. tootlepedal says:

    It is always a pleasure to hear from you and I hope that your plan to combine visiting and writing goes well.

  16. Julie it sounds so comfortable to me. To “be” with Anthony without the stress of “doing”. I hope it’s a good routine for you both. What joy you must be to him.

  17. It is good that you can spend the day with him at the nursing home without getting bored

  18. Vicki says:

    Nice to hear an update, Julie.
    I’m glad you are able to spend all day at the Nursing Home with Anthony. I’m sure he will love having you near and sharing his space. Not everyone would be able to just be with someone, (anyone, including a special loved one), mostly in silence, and let the everyday routine flow on around them. So many people feel uncomfortable with silence. They don’t know how to handle it, when in fact you don’t need to ‘handle’ it. You just need to be in that moment and learn to be accepting of whatever each moment brings.
    Sending love across the miles
    Vicki
    x

    • jmgoyder says:

      Sorry not to have replied earlier my lovely friend – I have mostly been off the internet as I adjust to this new phase – so far so good! Sending love right back at you Vicki! Jx

  19. FlaHam says:

    Julie, You are going through some times with Ants right now, and need to devote as much of your body and soul and possible to that effort. I understand you being MIA, and I appreciate why. I know this is allowing you to feel closer and closer to Ants. And I know that Ants appreciates everything you are doing for him. The love you two share, is the stuff legends are made of. Enjoy your time with Ants and be safe, love Bill.

  20. jatwood4 says:

    You are abundantly blessed, and so is Anthony. I’m sure your love and your presence comfort him in this last phase of his life.

    • jmgoyder says:

      Yes, I/we seem to have come to a more peaceful place I guess. Sorry to have lost touch (I haven’t been reading blogs or writing for a while) – will get back to it eventually and I hope you are well xx

  21. Judy says:

    You are terrific for taking this adjustment in stride with such a positive attitude. Of course, I know you’ve agonized over it. The painful part is looking to where this is heading; try not to do that. Nurturing yourself every step of the way keeps you in the moment. I went through a similar experience with my mother. Taking her on outings was a way for me to escape the pain of the nursing home and to pass the time more quickly. But slowing down became necessary. I wanted to be able to help my mother continue to escape, but eventually it was too hard to pull it off. It was a form of acceptance. I could not lead her from the disease anymore – I became a follower of her path. That is what was hard for me. But I lit that path with anything that helped me feel better – I sang songs to her and hung out. And she was so happy to have me nearby as I know Anthony will be having you there.

    • jmgoyder says:

      I learn so much from you Judy. I’ve been a bit off the internet lately but just want you to know how much I appreciate your support. Love Julie

  22. Suzy Blue says:

    Sounds lovely – just _being_ together all day, never mind doing anything in particular, just being. Perfect 🙂 x

  23. tersiaburger says:

    You are amazing. I have so much respect for you. The way you embrace each change, each moment is so precious. Much love dear friend.

  24. Accepting rather than fighting change has led to a peaceful you 🙂

    Thinking of you all xx

  25. My Heartsong says:

    Great solutions, Julie-saying yes! to life.

  26. i so admire your ability to adapt to the changes your men are going through! you are an inspiration. i know you have written with success before, are you going to write about your adventure with your love and p.d.? so many could benefit from you humor and advice. of course in the middle of it you have little time for such a project. i eargerly await your next post, i miss you but understand you have to prioritize how you spend your precious time.

    big warm hugs and love my dear friend

  27. Judith Post says:

    Just like you to find a solution so that you and Anthony can enjoy each other. So happy for you!

  28. appletonavenue says:

    Wonderful! I’ve spent entire 12 hour days in a nursing home and it’s hard. It can be such a depressing place, even if it is quite nice. I applaud you and am so glad staying with Anthony in his room is so satisfying. Good for you!

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