wings and things

The dream

on April 20, 2017

I have various versions of the same dream about once a week. It’s always some sort of party, or wedding, or get-together but the venues change from dream to dream. The ‘characters’ in these dreams usually include old friends, close relatives and always Ming, but he is often either a baby or child.

In each of these weekly dreams, Anthony is extremely incapacitated and in a wheelchair; the destination is hours away from the safety of the nursing home; and it’s only when we get there that I realise I have forgotten his medications for Parkinson’s Disease (the timing of which is vital).

So, in each of the dreams, I am either searching my handbag for a stray pill, or trying to decide whether to drive all the way back to the nursing home. I am totally panicked and trying to figure out who can help me get Anthony from his wheelchair out to the car, but people are milling around him, happy to see him but concerned about him being in a wheelchair etc.

Because this is a dream I am, of course, leaping tall buildings and smashing windows and unlocking safes in my frantic search for Anthony’s pills – all to no avail. So I get back to the party, or whatever it is, and am relieved to see that Ants isn’t slumped too badly in his wheelchair. I rush to him and kneel, apologising for forgetting his medications and all of a sudden he gets up and is fine – robust, loud, laughing and hugging me as if the whole thing was some sort of bizarre practical joke. The relief that washes over me in the dream is so wonderful that it wakes me up.

So, when I wake up, it takes me about a minute to get my bearings and realise it was a dream but it never makes me sad. Instead, this recurring dream gives me enormous joy because it reminds me in so many ways how fantastic our life together has been.

I hope I get that dream again tonight.

10 responses to “The dream

  1. Your dream brought my heart great joy this morning Julie. Thank you! ❤

  2. Judy says:

    Your dream has so many metaphors and meanings, Julie. I am certain you can interpret them. I do love the fact that you are comforted upon waking up. All that anxiety you feel when you’re awake is manifested in the dream. And the lack of control is also apparent, as well as being reassured by Ants that you are doing a great job. Which you are!
    Thinking of you, always and sending love.

  3. ksbeth says:

    it sounds like a trying to rescue dream – pulling out all the stops humanly possible –

  4. I am glad the dream doesn’t upset you

  5. I hope you do too Julie.

  6. Dreams are interesting things. You have to wonder where all the pieces come from. I am one of those who dreams a lot and always remembers. My husband is not always as impressed with my re-telling as he should be. 🙂

  7. dogdaz says:

    How in tune you are with the cosmos. It is wonderful that you can appreciate your love in the dream state. Dream on.

  8. zannyro says:

    I had a dream long after my brother passed. Same sort of thing, I turned and looked at him and he was fine. Perfectly healthy. I feel and felt,that the dream was a message from him and I knew he was okay. The dream…a reassurance that they will be, in time, at ease and there is nothing to fear.

  9. How beautiful! Julie, today I randomly was prompted to log in to WordPress after “liking” a friends blog attached to his website. I haven’t been on here for almost 5 years, pretty much shortly after I finished uni. I haven’t even looked at my own blog let alone any others but I was reminded quickly of you and came to your page and was happy to see you are still writing, regularly, well done! I’m almost inspired to start blogging again myself (and cooking which is what I initially blogged about)…but one thing at a time. For now I am enjoying going through your achieve and journey. You always were such a gifted writer – so witty, charming and yet beautifully nostalgic and poignant. Much love, Mandy

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