wings and things

Chapter 2: Wondering [2021]

on August 7, 2021

I keep meaning to ask you if you felt the same way the day we met but so far I haven’t had the nerve to pose what seems an important question. I think the reason I still haven’t asked you is because I am nervous you might say no in which case I might feel embarrassed, and if you say yes I might feel angry and launch into a bunch of why questions.

It’s silly to feel nervous after all these years and I think I would prefer anger to embarrassment. Of course, if I never ask you if you, too, felt the orchestra in your chest when you answered the door that long-ago day, I will have to keep wondering and I quite like wondering.

I remember exactly what I was wearing – a mauve t-shirt, long batik skirt and thongs. And I remember exactly what you were wearing – a tight black t-shirt, black football shorts and striped football socks (I don’t remember the colours).

I didn’t know back then that falling in love could feel so much like the adrenaline that accompanies a very loud alarm – the kind of alarm that only sounds if there is a fire, or a bomb threat, or worse even.

I didn’t know back then that falling in love would devastate me.

9 responses to “Chapter 2: Wondering [2021]

  1. susanpoozan says:

    What a shock it must have falling in love so completely like that.

    • jmgoyder says:

      Yes! Thanks for your support Susan – it is a hard but wonderful story to write and I have blogged so much of it already but this time I am trying to form it into a book. I am hoping new readers will not know that Anthony is dead.

  2. Meg Lane says:

    Gripping. Keep going

  3. beth says:

    the extreme highs and lows of love

  4. Falling in love is like that

  5. judyrutrider says:

    Indeed! Falling in love devastates whole lives and not always in a good way.

  6. i fell in love just like that too. instant.

  7. Writer Lori says:

    You’re off to a fantastic start, Julie…

  8. Lynda says:

    You have reminded me of the first time I ever saw Bob. It is amazing how we remember every detail of what they were wearing. Though I suspect that in my case, if I asked, he wouldn’t remember a thing about what we were wearing. Thank you for the memories; yours and mine. ❤

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